Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Our Brave President Stands Just One Woman Away From the Axles of Evil!"
February 22, 2002
by Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal...

It is another week of triumph and excitement at home because Our Great President Bush is not here. Instead he is overseas where people there love him even more than ever if you don't count the angry demonstrators and enemies. But the good people overseas are relieved that he has stood up against the Axles of Evil: Iraq, their best friend Iran, and that hot bed of Muslin fundamentalism North Korea, even if they did not say so. You can just tell.

I would say hats off! to the war on terrorism and fanatical liberalism, but I still do not have a hat to off! with. I got on the bus to Washington to confront Deputy Jack "Slick Wille" Oliver and demand a hat, but it was the wrong Washington and all that happened was I got rained on and overcharged for coffee.

However, I was going through Salt Lake City when the finger skating scandal erupted. What a disgrace!

I think every true American was outraged that the person who actually won did not and that the person who came in second was awarded the "win" by a bunch of crooked judges! Really! It makes us all sick to think that those judges put a loser ahead of the winner just for partisan purposes. I would not be surprised to find out there was some sort of favoritism involved, or maybe even some kind of payoff.

Let's face it. The results will always be disputed and people will regard the so-called winner with disdain and scorn. And who can blame them? In this world if you do not earn what you get but just have it handed to you by crooked judges or whoever, you will never deserve anything but contempt from decent people and no-one will ever forget it. I think even the most extremist Socialist Democrap would agree with me there.

I would hope there would be some sort of official investigation in our courts, but instead they are busy still harassing poor Katherine Harris over the election. Yes, there are people who cannot get over it "just because" they were kept from voting. And yes, she and the two state agencies and the company that knocked all those black people in the state off the voter rolls wanted to stop the lawsuit, but I am sure they are secretly relieved that now they will be able to tell their story in a court of law.

It is a shame that the NAAC(L)P is busy playing the race card like this instead of doing something to help black people get over their inferiority, like forcing welfare mothers to get married. There are plenty of white people like myself who did not vote for Our Great President because they forgot or something, yet you do not see us suing Al Gore. We have got over it and so should they. And that is not bigoted but plain common sense, so there!

I do not have much to say about Salt Lake City which, although it is full of good people who believe in guns, guts and God, does not tolerate panhandling or people sleeping in doorways. Or so somebody told me (and not a cop either, so stop saying that). As you sew, so shall you reek, as it says in the Constitution, and I will leave it at that.

I no sooner returned then George Dubya left, although that is not the reason haha. At least I do not think so.

Our Great President's first stop was in Japan where they were very happy to see him. He spoke of the great century and a half of peace and friendship between the two countries (which is true if you don't count the little space of time between Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima, so there).

It was horrible to see the liberal running dog lackeys of the yellow journalism press jump all over Our Great President just because he did not know the difference between devaluation and deflation and made the Tokyo stock market crash. As if anyone else knows what it means.

Besides, it was only the biggest one-day slide in two months, not the end of the world. You would think the Japanese would have sense of humor the way they did when our Great Father of the President threw up on their little Prime minister, but I guess the bitter experience of having to deal with Slick Willy for eight years has made them less fun. They did not bring up them damaging our submarine with that fishing boat last year, though, so that was good.

Then it was on to Korea where happy crowds turned out at our military bases. Predictably the chattering beebops of negatism focused on the actual Koreans instead, who rioted in the streets, unwilling to face up to the wisdom of Bush.

"We seek a peaceful region where weapons of mass destruction do not threaten peace," he said on one Air Force base in front of our bombers, and who could disagree? Not me, I was not there. I only read about it the next day.

Then he went right up to the front where he stood just one woman away from the Axles of Evil itself. I don't recall Slick Willy ever standing behind anybody to confront evil himself, much less a defenseless woman. But he does not have the courage of Our Great George, who kept the Viet Cong out of Houston and El Paso and was never officially charged with being AWOL.

I was so proud of him that I put the picture I cut out of the newspaper on my locker at the bus station. Well you would not believe it but some DemocRat LIEberal had the nerve to vandalize it as soon as I put it up.

I was so upset I went to the newsstand to get another copy of the picture, and would you believe it, someone vandalized it again!

I wish I could find out who is doing it. Fortunately I have the help of Secret Service Agent Brown, who I am proud to say did not wait to be asked. Both times I saw him standing right there at my locker, trying to match magic marker samples to the writing. I am sure he will get to the bottom of this evil terrorism soon.

Speaking of evil, I got another letter from Deputy Jack "Slick Willy" Oliver to spontaneously pretend to be a Democrat with:

Dear Bob,

President Bush's energy plan is important for our nation's national and economic security.

Today's war on terrorism should remind all of us of the need for energy self-reliance. President Bush's bipartisan energy plan will increase our energy independence. By promoting renewables and permitting limited, environmentally safe drilling in ANWR, President Bush will protect our nation's short- and long-term security.

Click here to forward this message to your team.

The President's plan is also important to our economy. High energy costs hurt our farmers and workers, making everything more expensive. The President's plan will also create tens of thousands of jobs. That's why unions like the Teamsters and Carpenters have supported this common sense plan.

The Senate will consider the Senate energy plan in late February and early March. Let your Senator know that you support the President's energy plan. Take action today!

I sent it right out to my Senators and newspapers but wrote "Warning - you will not get a hat" at the bottom so they would not be fooled.

I hope that we can go back to the glorious days of blackouts to show the importance of more deregulation, before we get mired in the nightmare of conservation.

If we do not get this energy bill passed and get more money out of the hands of old and sick people and into the hands of our great energy companies, it will be like Osama Bin Laden has won. And not because George Dubya let him get away, so stop saying that.

Instead let us all pull together to make sure that the war keeps going no matter what. We will never have peace unless we fight for it. As Shakespeare said, "Stand up, sit down, fight fight fight." And how.

Bob Boudelang has only an empty head without his hat and knows you believe, as he does, this is as wrong as $4 for a cup of coffee not even in a real cup.

Read Bob's Other Rebuttals