Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"At Last We Have An Attorney General Who Stands For Guns and Not Silly Laws!!"
May 10, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot,with this week's rebuttal...

Today is now a day when every real American patriot should stand up and cheer loudly and maybe fire a few rounds in the air in celebration! Our Great Attorney General John Ashcroft, who is not a dangerous nut, has announced that the second amendment gives us all a right to own guns, no matter what the laws and the courts have said.

And why not? After all, the words "The guns of the people shall not be in fringe" are the most sacred words in all of human history ever written. That is why it is the Second of the Ten Commandments that we call the Bill of Rights. All of our other freedoms would not mean anything without people being able to buy guns without background checks, which is a shame.

Now maybe the tyranny of the Brady Bill will be overturned, and ordinary everyday citizens will be able to buy guns without intrusive questions like "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?" or "Where did you get a phony piece of ID like this?" or "What makes you think I’m going to take a check from you?"

And do not think all gun owners are dangerous nuts, despite all the shootings you read about in the leftist-biased yellow journalism media every day. After all, I own a gun. Or I did until the police took them away because I gave them to Mr. Padnavatham’s teenage nephew Arjay while I was guarding the town with a stick in the woods and Arjay shot out the street lights. But that could happen to anyone, and no charges were filed, and Mr. Padnavatham never found out where Arjay and his friends got the guns. So let’s not bring that up again, okay?

And if the Foundry Fathers had meant for guns to be used by state militias they would have put that in. So there.

However, we might as well be slaves like the people in Australia for all Mrs. Rosenfeld cares at the Daisyview Trailer Park. She refuses to buy me a gun so that we can protect ourselves like God meant us to.

She says it is because I am behind in the rent, but do not be fooled. She is a typical LIEberal who will not be happy until all guns are confiscated from law-abiding gun owners, who will be put in the goolag under Commissar Sarah Brady. And if you want proof, let me tell you that she denies publicly she wants any such thing. Would you believe that?

But she cannot fool me. I told her that we ought to have a gun and that naturally between me and her I should have it. I am after all a war veteran who helped Ronald Reagan fight off the threat of the tyrants of Grenada while she was trembling safe at home.

But it was to know a veil.

So here we are at the mercy of Chic Omar or Sodom Husane with no guns to defend us.

I am just glad John Ashcroft is not here to see it, especially since Mrs. Rosenfeld has a calico cat, which he says is a sign of the devil and can you prove he is nuts? I thought so. Plus she went and got a dog and now she cannot get watched as Our Great Attorney General and our Homely Director of Security wishes. Not that it was me, but the dog tore my pants.

Speaking of Homely Director of Security Tom Ridge, it is horrible that he is getting questioned in the papers. Now Congress wants him to tell them what he plans to do with the money they give him! It is as if the terrorists have won, and not because the anthrax guy works for the CIA, so stop saying that.

And there are stories in the papers about him not really being in charge of anything, or mentioning that people make fun of his color warning system.

Well, listen, what would happen if nobody knew what color it was? It would be a terrible crisis. Thank goodness we have Tom Ridge’s system and everybody knows what color it is during a terrorist bombing, as long as you don’t count the kid who was blowing up mailboxes since Homely Director Ridge did not say anything then.

And yes, the bomb-detecting machines our Homely Director ordered to keep passengers safe are all too big to fit in the airports, but that is not his fault! Does he have to think of everything himself?

I am afraid the attacks on John Ashcroft and Tom Ridge are just more of the running dog lackey media. No wonder everyone hates them and watches Fox instead of news.

And all of those people who were laughing because the military officer who was giving intelligence on Fox turned out not to be a military officer and had to be fired. Now Bill O. Reilly and Sean Hammity have no intelligence. But how were they to know something like that? Do you expect them to find out facts before they broadcast their stories?

It is as bad as the magazine that put out those pictures of Anna Cornucopia topless and it turned out not to be pictures of Anna Cornucopia topless. What a gyp! Not that I looked at them. And they were out of focus and way grainy, too. Or so I hear.

Let us end this week with a sad thought for Ken Starr who was quoted as saying he did a horrible job. Ken, I think every American knows you did a horrible job too, and when they look at your picture they think "Horrible. Just horrible."

Now Ken Starr is a disgrace. And yet slick Willy Klintoon walks around a free man just because no evidence could be found and America wants to give him $50 million to be on the T and V. It makes you think, doesn’t it? But not me. I did not get shot in the ass in Grenada by friendly fire to sit around idly thinking. Amen.

 
Bob Boudelang is a proud Republican team leader who is going to sue if he gets rabies as he was doing his patriotic duty and not snooping in the flower bed when Mrs. Rosenfeld’s dog bit him. And so what if it is a little Pomeranian, it still broke the skin.

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