Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"Our Great President Is Not Terrified of That Lady, So Stop Saying That! And I Mean It! Or Else!"

August 15, 2005
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

Speaking as a concerned citizen and veteran who helped keep America free from the jack-boodled tyrants of mighty Grenada, I am concerned at the dangerous affects that LIEberals have on the moral fiber of this great country of some of ours.

For example, could there be a more pressing problem facing us as a nation (and when I say as a nation, I mean as a nation worthy of being led by Our Great President) than keeping our young boys from becoming gayo-Americans?

But let me tell you what happened to me as a warning to you all, of what could happen to you, if it ever happens to you like it happened to me. Just the other day I saw a bunch of young men at our local high school (and the injunction only covered elementary schools, so I am too allowed near there) dangerously hanging around with girls.

As you know, hanging around with girls is one of the warning signs Doctor James Datsun says that means boys are growing up to be homosexualites. And Dr. James was the one who found out that Spongebob was gay, so that shows he knows what he is talking about.

And so I did what Doctor James would do, and even though there was not a shower around, I showed them my penis. I hoped it would firm their maleness, but instead they laughed and threw rocks at me, no doubt corruptered by NTV and hephop music and other influences.

Meanwhile, this Sunday will be Justus Sunday 2, when Doctor James will attack activist judges who promote radical agendas like equal rights for everyone and Americans having a right to privacy. And like Steve Gutenburger in the Police Academy sequels, Doctor Senator Bill Frisp will not be there. But other people will, including Phylis Schaffly, who helped defeat the equal rights amendment way back when by pointing out that women like her were inferior.

Speaking of inferior women, could there be anything more shameful than having a mother whose son was killed in Iraq ruining the vacation of Our Great President by being near his ranch and asking questions out loud? I ask you? Really?

Does this woman not know this is America, where people obey Our Great President’s slightest win without question? How long will we remain the Land of the Free if women like her allowed to do what they want, like find out why her son is dead?

That is why responsible people like Bill O. Riley and the like have been treating her with what Aresha Franklin used to call R-E-S-P-E-T-C as they called her a whore and a traitor.

After all, she already met once with Our Great President and she did not call him names in public then, so she must be a flip-flopper. So what does she want now? Does she not realize that George W. has to spend time with important rich people and has no vacation time to waste with people whose relatives got killed because of his war and other riffraff?

Well, a person like me can only take so much before he snaps like elastic on an old pair of underpants, and so I took action, I am proud to say. I sent that great journalismer Matt Drudge (who is not a pansy and so what if he is?) a letter that said how disgusted I am by her. And just so he would take it serious, I signed it "Her family."

Who would have guessed it would be such a success? Rush Limbaugh even read it on the air. It obviously struck a nerve, since everybody knows that families always get along together unless someone is unAmerican or a junkie or something.

To make a long story short, the letter was such a success, I am going to follow it up. This time I am going to write another letter saying how disgusted I am with her and sign it "Her Dead Son".

I bet Matt Drudge will print that one too! Hee hee hee! Watch the leftists and moderates burn up then!

I wish I could be in the Washington D of C area on September 11 to take part in the big Republican jubliee markingthe day the World Trade Center collapsed and the Pentagon was attacked. What a happy day that was, and what could be more fitting than a concert with Clint Black to celebrate it?

"America Supports You Freedom Walk"…could there be a more fitting name? And to highlight that freedom, anyone who goes near it will have to give his name and address and phone number and other information to the military and get approved before they can participate. That is freedom, George Bush style baby!

I was so excited to hear about it that I wrote a song to mark the happy occasion, which I hope Clint Black will sing. It goes to the tune of "The Battle of 1812" and mostly fits if you sing parts of it real fast and other parts kind of slow.

On September 11 America was attacked
And Our Great President kept reading My Pet Goat so he wouldn’t scare the kids
Now Osama got away but nobody really cares
Because innocent civilians are dead here but even more are over there

(chorus)

Well...
No we did not get the anthrax killer
No we did not get Bin Laden and his friends
But we got Saddam and his sons Oosy and Goosy
And that’s close enough for me anyday!"

Yeehaw!

 
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who would be honored to take part in "America Supports You Freedom Walk" if somebody sends me bus fare to Washington (not the one in Seattle but the other one) at bobboudelang@yahoo.com. Some money for a hotel that would not be spent on booze sop stop saying that would also be appreciated.

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