Mother had no idea daughter was assaulted

[Whoa_Nelly]

Source: AP

PAHRUMP, Nev. (AP) A Nevada sheriff says the mother of a young girl seen being sexually assaulted in a homemade videotape had no idea anything had happened. The incident occurred when the girl was three. She's now seven.

Read more: http://www.kxmc.com/News/166769.asp

---

A very ittle more at link.
Have looked for an expanded story on this development, but haven't found one yet.

How could that mother NOT KNOW? :wtf:

[Pavulon]

1. Not enough Info..

but probably not the mothers fault. Child could have been left with a trusted person who made a judgment error about someone. Like leaving her with her sister and the boyfriend abuses (example)

Barring outright involvement only the people involved in the crime are culpable. The child may not have said anything and the mother may not have known.

I hate this story, it makes me sick. It happens constantly , not so publicly, and is a problem that needs to be addressed.

[Whoa_Nelly]

5. It would seem there would have been physical trauma left on the child

if the rape and other horrific abuse as partially described by the Nye County Sheriff's Office is correct.

[spotbird]

15. Maybe the child was drugged

I thought she looked it in the pictures. Some drugs obliterate memory, so it would explain why she didn't tell anyone.

That would also be the best case on many levels.

[Lucinda]

52. I also thought she looked drugged n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. What a cruel and uninformed question.

Why should she have known? Shall we burn her at the stake as well?

Child abusers - at least the ones who are serious about it - are very clever at hiding and going undetected and convincing their victims, especially children, not to speak at all about it.

[Maine-ah]

27. Thank you Rabrrrrrr

I hate how quick it is to lay the blame with out enough information. There was another little girl recently who was hung in the garage and people were quickly blaming the mother because her boyfriend was a suspect. Come to find out it was a complete stranger that committed the crime.

I'm so tired of hearing these stories daily. It just makes me sick that anyone could harm a child this way.

[LostinVA]

48. Exactly

One of my exes was sexually abused by her father for years. She firmly believed that her mother had no idea it was going on, because of the times and circumstances surrounding the abuse.

[Harper_is_Bush]

68. If, as it sounds, he had sex with this child, would she not be injurred?

That would be a little difficult to hide.

[Warpy]

3. A three year old child doesn't have the vocabulary

to describe what happened. Besides, the little girl in that tape was completely shut down, according to authorities, displaying absolutely no connection with what was being done to her. If she dissociated completely, the mother would have no idea that anything had happened because the little girl would have given no sign of it.

However, if there had been penetration, there would have been external bruising. The mother should have picked up on that when she gave her daughter a bath....unless the abuser was being completely trusted and took that job for himself.

Unfortunately, the world is also full of women who so passionately do not want to know that something that monstrous has happened to one of their children at the hands of someone everyone trusts completely that the wall of denial causes her to miss even the most obvious signs.

The only description I've seen of the mother is "really dense." That would tend to go with extreme denial.

[Gormy Cuss]

11. "Really dense" or mentally disabled in some way.

The mother also may have been distracted by her own drug or alcohol abuse at the time. All of these are ways that a parent could miss obvious bruising in the vaginal or anal area or dismiss it as caused by something else. Sadly, I know several little girls who were sexually abused repeatedly without the mothers catching on because the mother had an unregulated mental illness or was a heavy substance abuser.

You also described a scenario where the abuser could have kept the mother from seeing the bruising and some pedophiles are extremely good at covering their tracks. Plus there is denial -- no parent really wants to think that a child was abused sexually.

[spotbird]

16. If the bruising wasn't

extensive, the mother may not have seen it when bathing the girl. It's not a spot anyone looks at in a potty trained child.

[NOLALady]

4. "How could that mother NOT KNOW?"

I read an article some time ago about the women in a shelter for abused women. She was putting items away when her young daughter (can't remember age but quite young) said "Penises hurt bottoms". She dropped everything she was so startled.

It turned out to be a brother of her husband (the child's Uncle) who'd violated the child. If my memory is correct, the Father was aware. Eventually, they were arrested. Point is, the Mother had no clue until the child made that statement. I cannot blame that Mother.

[benddem]

6. it's hard for me to believe the mom

didn't she bathe the child? Or at least be in the bathroom at sometime with her. She had to have some vaginal tearing...or at least bruising.

[Myrina]

9. ... by the time my daughter was 3 ...

... she was out of diapers and learning to bathe herself.

Examining her vagina was not something I made a habit of.
I'd imagine other mothers do not, either.

Now, if there was discomfort, bleeding or bruises ("mommy,
my bottom hurts", "No mommy, I don't want uncle Pervert
to come over anymore") then absolutely, the mother should
have known. If there were no outwardly visible signs ...

:shrug:

[liberal renegade]

7. the person guilty of this horrible crime

has no business on this planet. Hell is to good a place for such a monster....

[jdadd]

30. Put him in general population in prison....

That'l be worse than Hell. Most prison inmates have familys,perverts like this don't last very long....

[Whoa_Nelly]

8. In resonse to all who think my question odd, or out of place re: mother not know

Considering the amount of abuse heaped upon this little girl, described as horrific by the Nye County Sheriff's Office, that there would have been physical trauma to her body.

Yes, it's possible that the child was not in the mother's care for a long enough period of time that any of that type of trauma would have healed.

And, yes, there needs to be more information.

Am just horrified that there appears to be no knowledge by the mother, or by any other adult who may have been taking care of this child at that time, to not have noted some sort of physical trauma on this child.


As a teacher, I mentored a 3-year old in our school's Child Find preschool. It was noted at that time by the girl's teacher when she changed her diaper (yes, she was still wearing diapers and being toilet-trained), that her genitals and anus were often red and swollen. The teacher suspected abuse, and even brought in CPS. Unfortunately, CPS used the father as the person of authority and knowledge, and accepted his explanations. It was not until she became my student at age 6 that I learned about the teacher's suspicions (as a matter of confidentiality record.) When I learned the history and actions taken, and became involved with the family, I pushed the envelope as the child began showing more signs of continued abuse. I ended up being her court advocate, and was able to remove both her and her younger sister from this monster who was abusing and drugging both of them.

So, that's why I ask, how could the mother not know? And, perhaps the mother did see trauma, but chalked it up to something else at the time.

Anyway...am glad Madison is safe, and am going to keep checking on updates regarding this whole thing.

Thanks for all your responses :hi:

[EFerrari]

25. My husband put me through stuff that no one but the ER staff

would believe because he presents so well. No one -- not his friends or colleagues or his family or even our neighbors. And I was a grown up.

:(

:hug:
:grouphug:

[renate]

26. I don't know what to say....

....

No, I still don't. Except that I am just so sorry and sad to hear this.

:grouphug:

[EFerrari]

36. It was pretty awful and we eventually sorted it out.

But the point is, if an adult has trouble dealing with the denial of people around her, imagine a child trying to do that.

[Evergreen Emerald]

10. One of the biggest myths of rape is that it leaves damage

That area of the female body heals extremely well and quickly. In over 97% of known rapes on children, there is no physical damage.

[LisaL]

23. Where are all these numbers coming from?

People throw out these numbers, without providing links.

[Evergreen Emerald]

28. actually lizzy....I have no link

I work with rape victims and with physicans who examine rape victims. The stats are from the professionals in the business of helping rape victims.

There are so many myths in our society when it comes to rape, that hurt victims and make it hard to find justice. One of them is that if there had been rape, there would be physical proof. That is inaccurate.

[LisaL]

29. Well, pardon me if I am a little skeptical about the number you

provided.
And here is not the situation where an adult woman is assaulted by the adult man. We are talking about a little child assaulted by the adult man.
Are you making a claim that in such a situation there would be no physical signs of an attack?

[Evergreen Emerald]

31. that is exactly what I am saying.

In a majority of the cases (with both little boys and little girls) there is no physical evidence. Of course there are many reasons for that: the type of assault that occurred, the delay in reporting, the forgiveness of the tissue. Mothers may see redness and mistake it for something else.

It is hard for people to understand--and to believe it. Partly because of people not wanting to believe it could happen to them, so they distance themselves from the mother: if this mother overlooked injury she is a bad mother, and therefore it would not happen to me because I am a good mother.

Part of the experience of being a member of a group like this, is that we can meet and learn from all sorts of people.

I am certain if you have access to medical journals from professionals who deal with sexual assault you would find the stats.

[LisaL]

32. You've made a claim that in 97% known rapes of children,

there is no physical damage. One would think that someone who makes a claim should provide a link to stats to back that up. Now you say that the issues could be delay in reporting and forgiveness. What does forgiveness have to do with physical signs of abuse? And obviously if an adult says he/she was abused as a child, there would be no reason to expect physical evidence to support the accusation, after all the time has passed. What does this have to do with a question as to whether someone taking care of a young child who has been assaulted should/could notice some physical signs something was amiss?

[Evergreen Emerald]

33. It would be nice there were tell-tale signs, but the world is not quite so nice.

What I am telling you is that in 97% of the cases of known child sexual assault (where there have been confessions or convictions) there was no physical evidence.

You want links? Look it up yourself. You are obviously unwilling to believe it. I wonder why?

Forgiveness: of the tissue, lady. That means that the tissue is forgiving (remember babies come through that part of the body) and therefore that tissue is FORGIVING. That part of the body heals very quickly and in a matter of hours any redness would be gone. In a matter of days any tears that may have occurred would be healed.


Dang, I have tried to ignore your hostility, but it is getting annoying.

Don't believe it, keep your head stuck in the sand. But, that attitude, hurts children's chances of being safe.

[LisaL]

34. I believe it works this way-whoever makes a claim provides a link.

If you make a claim, and expect people to believe it, and stand by it, then you should be able to back it up with links to studies claiming such a thing.

[Evergreen Emerald]

41. whatever lady...perhaps you should have less coffee

yikes!

[LostinVA]

50. I'll let you in on a little secret

When you're dealing with this poster: Ignore. Ever since the Terri Schiavo case.

[LisaL]

51. Well, I hope you are following your own advice.

[Evergreen Emerald]

57. Hi LostinVA

I remember now. Thanks!

Good to hear from you.

[LostinVA]

66. You too!

[TheWraith]

75. That's not the way it works.

lizzy is right: posting a claim requires a source. It's way too easy for myths to circulate if you don't, and THAT hurts children's chances of being safe. Oh, and trying to imply that doubting you is the same thing as encouraging pedophiles is pretty low.

[tblue37]

35. In this context The term "forgiveness" does not mean

to forgive someone for doing something. It means that the tissue is "forgiving" of injury, in the sense that it heals quickly and well. Any part of the body with a dense blood and nerve supply heals more quickly than other parts of the body. (Such tissues also bleed more drastically when first injured.)

Also, young tissue has greater healing power than older tissue. When my son was not yet 16 he was beaten, kicked, strangled and left for dead by a gang of four young men. When I first saw his face when he was found on the Friday morning after the beating, it looked as though it had been through a meat grinder. Yet by the following Tuesday, just 4 days alter, it looked like he had a mildly swollen lip and a slightly swollen eye. He was still badly messed up physically , but he looked hardly hurt at all. If he had been, say, 40 or 50 when beaten, he would have looked terrible for a lot longer than he did.

[LisaL]

38. I have never heard of tissue described as being forgiving.

Healing quickly-yes. But forgiving?

[bettyellen]

43. yes, forgiving. as in: elastic able to take a lot of stress w/ out damage.

and vaginas are built to be forgiving. i've heard it before. and have heard the myth about visibile vaginal damage MANY times before.

[tblue37]

47. It's a technical term. The word "forgiving" is often used in

other technical contexts as well, to describe things that are not permanently altered by external factors. For example, one of the conspiracy theories around 9/11 is based on the idea that the steel columns supporting the buildings were supposed to be more forgiving (i.e., more tolerant of effect) when exposed to such high temperatures.

[Evergreen Emerald]

40. I am so sorry about your son.

How horrible. It sounds as if he is ok now.

[tblue37]

46. Yes--he's fine. He does have some emotional reactions, though, because of it.

For example, he cannot be fair about the Jena 6. To him, that white boy being beaten and kicked is himself. (The assault was 12 years ago this November. It happened one week before he turned 16.)

[Evergreen Emerald]

55. Life long consequences

I have a friend who was sexually assaulted as a teenager. When she reported it (small town) the officer said that he knew the guy and there is no way he would have done something like that. She lives with it. She is also ok, but does have some lingering affects--fears, trust, safety issues.

I am glad your son is ok.

[noamnety]

53. It's pretty easy to find links

This is the first one I clicked on:

"Physical harm was found in less than 10% of sexually abused children and usually involved bruising or health conditions, such as sexually transmitted diseases."

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1479796

[LisaL]

54. Here is a quote from the very link you provided, describing one study.

"Our own centre serves a large geographic area in central Ontario that has five level-one community hospitals staffed by family physicians but no pediatricians. A review over 1 year (May 2002 to April 2003) identified 38 patients between 3 and 10 years old (average age 5.8 years).

Abuse was suspected because 28 children (74%) made disclosures or statements, one child (3%) had bleeding, four children (11%) had discharge, and the remaining 10 children (26%) exhibited worrying behaviour. Some children had more than one suspect factor. All these children were referred to the centre to confirm or rule out sexual abuse or assault.

In 21 of these cases (55%), physical examination failed to reveal any findings consistent with physical trauma. In 17 cases (45%), there were physical findings. Among these cases, six children (35%) had nonspecific erythema of the vulvar area, and three other children (18%) had nonspecific bruising of the thigh and groin."

This suggest that almost half of the children alleging abuse exhibited some sort of physical sign. And abuse can be a lot of things, but in the specific case in question, we are talking about allegations of some horrific acts according to the police, which I presume means it wasn't just some sort of touching, where you might not expect to find physical signs. So, I am wondering as to how nothing was noticed at all, considering what the allegations are.

[Evergreen Emerald]

56. well, if you presume that--you are wrong--and your insistence

in denying the truth puts children in harms way. "she must be lying or there would have been physical trauma."

[LisaL]

58. Who must be lying? Apparently the child in question have said

nothing at all, as we are told the mother had no idea anything was happening. So, I have no clue as to what you are talking about here.

[noamnety]

59. Yes, in one small study of 38 cases at one location, rates were higher.

And even there, most did not have physical signs of abuse.

Yet you insist that it's improbable that a mother would have missed these (usually non occurring) physical signs.

This isn't good logic.

Since most do NOT have physical signs, a logical statement would be: "It's improbable that a mother would find physical signs of sexual abuse on her child, since they usually don't occur."

[LisaL]

60. Oh, right.

Even though I have not insisted on what you claim I did about the mother, I was under the impression that there could be physical and behavioral signs of abuse people should be concerned about (perhaps at least some of the time).

"Indicators of child sexual abuse:

Physical signs may include:
Bruises
Cuts
Irritation, pain, or injury to the genital area
Vaginal or penile discharge
Difficulty with urination
Pregnancy
Venereal disease in a young child
Nightmares

Behavioral signs may include:

One child being treated in a significantly different way from the other children in the family
Arriving early at school and leaving late
Nervous, aggressive, hostile, or disruptive behavior toward adults.
Running away
Abuse of alcohol or drugs
Sexual self-consciousness, provoc-ativeness, vulnerability to sexual approaches

Comments may include:

He fooled around with me
My mother's boyfriend does things to me when she's not there
I don't like to be alone with my father
I'm afraid to go home tonight
Will you help me go live with my aunt?"

http://www.danenet.org/dcccrsa/saissues/childinf.html

Using your logic, no one should bother to look, as it's improbable there will be any signs whatsoever. Is that what you are trying to say?

[noamnety]

61. I am simply responding to a question you raised

"a question as to whether someone taking care of a young child who has been assaulted should/could notice some physical signs something was amiss?"

It was explained to you that most of the time, no, there would not be physical signs.

You were skeptical, and asked for a link, I gave it. You looked for the most conservative estimate on that link, and it corroborated the assertion that most of the time there is not physical damage.

I've not started a debate with you as to any behavior that mothers should or shouldn't engage in, to include whether they should or shouldn't inspect their children. I haven't debated the existence or lack thereof of any behavioral cues.

I've merely provided a link that you asked for to verify a statistic, and stated the obvious logical conclusion from it.

[LisaL]

62. First of all, I asked a question. Not insisted on something, as you

claimed. Second of all, a poster threw out a number of 97 % and apparently expected others to accept it without questioning. That number of 97 % did not come up anywhere in the link you provided, sorry.

[noamnety]

63. Yes, I posted links to a Canadian study

which said over 90% do not have physical damage. You are correct, they did not specifically say "97%". You got me there.

It's likely that the person who quoted 97%, who appears to reside in the US, was not quoting that particular Canadian study, particularly since they said they were not quoting a particular link. You got me there, too. :)

[LisaL]

64. I have no clue what that person quoted or did not, as she/he is

refusing to provide a link to support that quote. I am glad I got you there, I guess.

[Xithras]

71. K-Y

Not to be crude, but most of the physical damage that occurs in rapes is the result of force and the attempt to "get through it" quickly and without being caught. This isn't the case in an extended child molestation. The abuser has the ability to physically adjust the bodies stretchiness, to take his time, and to use lubricants to minimize or even eliminate damage. The vagina is also well understood to be the most elastic body part in the human body, and that elasticity does exist even during childhood. If the abuser takes his or her time, they can do anything they want without leaving obvious external physical evidence.

I was abused as a child. So was my sister. I don't need any study or research to tell me this, because I saw it with my own two eyes. And our parents had NO idea.

[LisaL]

73. How exactly does the abuser know he wouldn't get caught?

In this instance, he was not related to the child. Also, a whole bunch of people apparently lived in the house. The woman he was dating, her daughter and son, and the girl's mother with the girl.

[Xithras]

77. We don't know the circumstances of the molestation.

It was mentioned elsewhere that the tape actually contained recordings of more than one molestation, and that the girls behavior was consistent with that of a girl who had been molested over a long period of time. We don't know exactly what this guys relationship with the family was, but it is fairly clear that he had regular and extended access to the child.

My sister and I were molested by a babysitter and her husband. They knew they had us for X hours a day, and had no fear of getting caught. It's plausible that something similar happened here.

[LisaL]

79. Actually we know what this guy relationship to the family was.

He was dating Tina Allen. Tina Allen is the mother of Stephanie Allen and Todd Allen. The child's mother was friends with that family and apparently lived with them in the apartment, which is described as crowded.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/01/rape.tape.girl/index.html
And that tape contained two unrelated events. One was peeping that involved a different girl, apparently 11 at the time. The other was the man with the little 3 year old girl.

[JohnLocke]

76. misplaced post

[AnneD]

12. Before everyone starts beating up the mother.........

It can happen without the mother's knowledge. People would think I was crazy, but I always examine my pre verbal daughter when she came back to me...even if she went with family. I mean at the first chance I had, I would yank down those diapers and check. I use to think how sick does that make me seem, but then I hear about cases like this, I think I was being cautious. Just because they don't know and can't tell you doesn't mean it can't happen. As a School Nurse, I have seen more than my fair share of abuse.

Cues of abuse in preverbal kids can be subtle, like wetting the bed, sucking the thumb, clutching a lovie. So how does that behaviour stand out? Once my daughter started talking we learned eyes, nose, ears, vagina (gina as she called it), knees, toes. Then she had the words to tell me if she got hurt. What this does is show how pervasive this thing is.

Day care is such a tenuous patchwork of friends and family for many single mothers. So before folks thowing stones-I always ask....what did you do to help?

[Trillo]

13. "How could that mother NOT KNOW?"

'Children should be seen, not heard'(?).

[pop goes the weasel]

14. what makes you think she had custody?

The mother may not have had custody of the child during that time. Often children live with different parents at different times of the year, or may be with a relative or acquaintance while a parent is sick or homeless or maybe overseas fighting some stupid war. There are so many possibilities that judgmentalism on anyone's part is completely uncalled for.

[Sukie1941]

17. Just want to add my thoughts at this late moment

I raised two little sisters I had adopted when they were still in diapers and toddling. They were eleven months apart.

I was very involved with their diapering and bathing and dressing. I would have SEEN any problems in the genital area. Surely they would have complained about painful urination or defecation.

Considering that the perp that RAPED a three year old girl apparently did it several times during the half hour of the video, there is no doubt in my mind, unless he is very under-endowed, that he would have ripped her apart, causing not just bruising but alot of bleeding. In fact, she probably had her internal organs damaged to some degree.

Also on her body would have been some bruising here or there considering his size and weight.

I started to be disturbed about this case when the police said the mother was "sad" to hear about the rapes. And DENSE says it all.

Let me can assure you, had I been totally oblivious to the rapes and even if four years had passed, I would have demanded to watch the videos full length, then I would have been so enraged that I would probably go out to hunt the bastard down myself. I would have been FAR more than sad!!!! Sad? That is crap!

I will bet that Madison's mother had a relationship or at least was attracted to the perp four years ago, that is how he gained access to her daughter, and she knew damn well what happened to her baby.

And a three-year old is still a baby!

[Disturbed]

18. This situation is real strange. "sexually assaulted"?

Most of the Media are using this phrase. Are they afraid to use the word "Rape"?

[LisaL]

22. Well, legally, rape is vaginal penetration. Sexual assault

is a broader term.

[Le Taz Hot]

24. My street sense tells me there's something

VERY wrong here -- other than the obvious. WAAAY too many questions that aren't being answered. Apparently the child was lethargic on the tape which means she was either drugged and/or had been abused before. Where's the daddy? The news reports are saying the perpetrator is a "friend of a friend of a friend." That's awfully far removed from a trusted caregiver. And, I'm sorry, but as the above poster stated, rape of a 3-year-old would tear her apart. How do you NOT notice that?

[LisaL]

19. I have basically the same questions as many other people

at the press conference. The man was described as a friend of a friend, or something like that. How did this man, unrelated to the child, according to the police, gained access to the child long enough to do whatever it is on the video. And another obvious question, if, as was described, an adult man was doing these things to a young child, weren't there some physical signs someone could have noticed.

[0007]

37. The press conference I seen on CNN Friday night was a joke.

The head detective looked like something from 'Howdy Doody Time' and talked and talked about absolutely nothing before turning it over to another nit-wit (Buffalo Bob) detective that couldn't talk about anything because it was still an on going investigation.

So in my mind it still isn't clear exactly what indeed the details are, other than being told of the video and photos of the little girl, and Madison is doing great! :shrug:

[LisaL]

39. She was described as a very happy little girl by the police

officer. I guess I might have a little difficulty believing that, considering the allegations.
Also, during the press conference, we were told that the suspect is not her father.
Where is the father? He was not mentioned during the conference. We are told the mother had no idea of the abuse and also had no idea the child was on TV until somebody told her. Nothing is mentioned about the child's father.

[0007]

44. With O.J. we got nothing but 24/7 and views from every angle.

On something as heinous as this story. We get nada! They can't even give the mother name, because she's a private person and doesn't want notoriety and the cops must respect that. (What a joke)

Something does indeed stink about this whole story.

[LisaL]

45. Maybe the police is trying to protect the child by not releasing

information. Of course that leaves the public with more questions than answers, but then again the protection of the child is more important than public's right to know.

[Ayesha]

20. Someone I know was raped at age 3

and she never told anyone until she was an adult. Her mother had a drinking problem, and never found out what happened. If she had, though, I believe she would have been outraged. This mom's apparent reaction is disturbing to me.

The woman I know had 3 kids with no problems, so apparently there was no long-term physical damage. But she absolutely remembers the assault and it has impacted her psychologically, and I'm sure that is true of this little girl too. I hope she gets the help she needs.

[tammywammy]

21. I feel for that mother and child

For the mom for her guilt of not seeing this sooner.

For the child for the horrible trauma that she's been through.

[Honeycombe8]

42. Could've happened when she was being babysat? Babysitter "sold" her charges...

on a regular basis, maybe? Just guessing. (If it's true, of course, that the mother didn't know.)

Also the possibility that the mother did know, had to call the police because she knew others would, but then denies she knew anything.

But I've heard of cases where things happened when kids were being babysat.

[LisaL]

49. If anyone else was involved beyond the suspect, then I would

expect arrests. So far there has been no reports of any arrests being made.

[LisaL]

70. From what I could gather, the mother of the child was a friend

of Stephanie Allen. Stephanie Allen had a brother, and a mother, Tina.
Tina, their mother was dating Stiles. Stephanie has recognized the bed and the furniture on the video as being in her house. Sounds like the mother of the child either hang out or lived in the Allen's house.
Allens say they did not know about the abuse or how it could have happened. Apparently the child herself doesn't remember anything either.
And according to the mother, Tina, Stiles liked dating older women.

This is a link to the interview with Tina.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3673559&page=1

[surfermaw]

65. Dear Aby or Ann

When I was a very young mother back in the 50, I read an article by Abby or Ann... it said never trust your little girls to any man not even to a loving grandfather or father...I never forgot that. in the first place I would never leave my little girls with any man other than their father or grandfather, and then I would be very cautious. I saw the same article probably 20 years ago... I NEVER FORGOT THE MESSAGE. Even though I was sure neither of their grandfathers and father would harm them...

[La Lioness Priyanka]

67. i was sexually assaulted as a child and my mother never knew.

hardly my mothers fault. it was a favorite uncle and everyone loved him. hell i still cant get myself to hate him.

its not the mothers fault.

[Seedersandleechers]

69. I was sexually abused by my mother's new husband

And I did tell her. She ignored me and told me she didn't know why but that some dads do that. After I got older she wondered why I had problems with drugs - even now tho I have prescriptions. That's one of the things in my life that I can not let go. I sometimes feel guilty because I hate her.

[militaryspouse]

72. This is freking scary!

Only 10% of children show evidence of vaginal tearing??!

[LisaL]

74. The % of children injured depends on what act was committed on the child.

1: Child Abuse Negl. 1989;13(2):211-6.Links
Child sexual abuse: relationship between sexual acts and genital findings.Muram D.
Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Tennessee, Memphis 38103.

A comparison was made between the findings observed during the examination of female victims of sexual abuse with the sexual acts to which the perpetrator confessed to have performed. In Shelby County, TN, during the calendar years 1985-1987, 30 individuals confessed to have sexually assaulted 31 girls. The mean age of the girls was 9.1 years, and that of the offenders was 30 years. In 18 of the 31 cases the offender admitted to vaginal penetration. Specific findings were observed in 11 of these 18 (61%) girls, compared with only 3 of 13 (23%) girls when penetration was denied. Although specific findings were more commonly observed when the perpetrator admitted to vaginal penetration, in 7 of 18 girls (39%) the examiner described normal appearing genitalia (n = 2), or nonspecific abnormalities only (n = 5). The author concludes that all complaints of sexual abuse must be considered potentially valid and should be investigated further, even if the physical examination fails to detect any abnormalities.

PMID: 2743181

[renate]

78. she just said "some dads do that"?

:wow:

I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you.

I guess she wouldn't say it, so I will: I'm so sorry. :hug:

[LisaL]

80. By the way, here is a link to smoking gun.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0928071stiles1.html?link=rssfeed