Lynne Cheney Jokes About Kerry's Tan

[Khephra]

DULUTH, Minn. -- Something about Sen. John Kerry's darker appearance has caught Lynne Cheney's eye.

During a campaign stop with her husband, a group of volunteers moved into the crowd with microphones for the question-and-answer period. Vice President Dick Cheney told supporters to look for the people with dark orange shirts.

When Cheney paused as if searching for the words to describe the shade of orange, Lynne Cheney said, "How about John Kerry's suntan?"

http://www.newsday.com/news/politics/wire/sns-ap-brf-kerry-cheney,0,4432795.story?coll=sns-ap-politics-headlines

[bigwillq]

1. What a fucking loser

Mrs. Dick is.

[Kikosexy2]

4. Lynne Cheney...

or Mrs. Phallus needs a new face--it's beginning to look like Dick's ass.

[saigon68]

45. HOW ABOUT HER BIG FAT ASS OR HER HORSE FACE

Yikes hide the mirrors

[0007]

58. A she clown

[saigon68]

75. LOL

He looks like Darth Vader's boss

[Just Me]

2. Bitch. n/t

[The Zanti Regent]

59. Gee, Lynne, you can't get a tan when you're in a bunker all the time!

Why don't you ask Eva Braun about that?

[newscaster]

3. Cheney is married to a moron.

and Cheney's moron wife is married to a moron. Funny how it works out that way!!!!!
A suntan as an election issue?
Oh yeah?
Well Cheney doesn't change his underwear everyday. So there!!!!!!:puke:

[Rose Siding]

5. What science experiment produced these reporters?

Good Kerry response but how disgustingly sad.

[tridim]

6. I'm searching for a dry martini

Dry, just like Lynne Cheney's vagina. How's that Lynne?

Gawd, I hate these people. They just keep shoveling the shit.

[Chelsea Patriot]

11. Dry....Just like her daughter likes 'em, right Heather?

[St. Jarvitude]

26. If only Kerry could say something like that without risking losing

I'm sure that's exactly what he's thinking, LOL. The response was a little weak, but still good.

Well, Mz. Cheney, I'm sorry, but just because you're a hermit and don't spend any time outside your little Stepford home, doesn't mean that John Kerry has to spend his time that way.

[Just Me]

35. There ya' go,...she is a "Stepford" wife!!!! n/t

[Pachamama]

48. Bwahahahaha....that's a good one...too bad Kerry can't use that one....

...without upsetting those good christians in the battleground states...

I'm with you...these people are absolute shit....and evil...

:grr:

[clydefrand]

7. I love the comeback! Ah, yes, we're smarter and stronger

(Responding to her comments, Kerry campaign spokesman Bill Burton said, "Is Mrs. Cheney jealous considering how hard it is to get sun in the undisclosed location with her husband Dick? Or is she distracted over how red-in-the-face George Bush should be considering his failed presidency?" )

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: ;-)

[clydefrand]

10. Well, I'm disclosing that undisclosed location

Head in asshole! No wonder he's so damn sour all the time.

[Roland99]

8. Perhaps she wouldn't mind some jokes about "carpet munching"?

[clydefrand]

12. Don't know these jokes

Where can I find them? I'm out of the loop!!!!!!!!! Gadzooks! I hate that!

[clydefrand]

13. Dupe deleted

[KittyWampus]

9. Mr. & Mrs. Vampire Should Shut The Fuck Up

you know Cheney disappears if the direct sun hits him.

[Pachamama]

49. That's a good one...That they disappear if direct sun hits them...Vampires

...blood sucking evil pieces of crap....

:grr:

[0007]

14. At least Kerry doesn't look like he's ready for the funeral parlor

like her Dickie that is as white as a fucking ghost.

[coreystone]

18. DICK is a very sickly looking man....

Sounds like the jealously that becomes those who would attack a more healthful and positive lifestyle because they are too lazy to engage in the discipline which is necessary to do so. In any event, it should have nothing to do with Kerry's qualifications to assume the Presidency. Dickie's wife has to be a real "blockhead" to concern herself with such nonsense. She should be more concerned about helping her husband in pursuit of a more healthy lifestyle which would give DICK a greater glow in his "HEAD"!

:-)

[dave123williams]

15. OH YEAH - HERE'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU UN-PHOTOSHOP IT!

What that asshole Drudge has had up for two days now:





What Kerry looks like once you remove the OBVIOUS Photoshopping they did to him:

[RevCheesehead]

41. That is just....oh, dishonest, isn't it??? Can Kerry sue Drudge?

Saw news coverage of him in Spring Green (WI) today - Kerry looks absolutely fabulous! He is NOT orange!

Of course, who knows what the FOX TV coverage will show?

[dave123williams]

43. They're painting him as a fag. Plain and simple.

They're saying that 'Bush is Mui Macho.'

They say that Kerry 'looks French', and 'gets expensive haircuts', and 'is Orange from a spray-on tan'. They're painting him as a meterosexual at best, and a fag at worst.

They're leading by appealing to the worst instincts of hate, prejudice and ignorance. They are...demagogues. Mendacious demagogues.

[Pachamama]

51. That's exactly what they are doing...I see these same talking points on

Kerry's appearance from all the Freepers I know....

It's exactly what they are trying, but will FAIL in doing...

[meow2u3]

69. Another case of projection?

Count and Countess Wackula ought to go back into their coffins before they try to paint Kerry as a fag. First, they ought to look at the alleged commander in thief--does that look like a fag or what (no offense to gay DUers)?

(there are gay guys and there are fags--there is a difference--and * looks like a fag!

[PROGRESSIVE1]

16. Lynne Cheney is RACSIST then. Seeing that she has a problem with....

"Dark People" and so!

:puke:

[saigon68]

46. She probably calls the "people" NEGROS

and in private some thing else like jungle bunnies or some thing nice like that </sarcasm>

[Carson]

72. Being "tan" doesn't qualify as a "race"

Therefore it would be illogical to call Lynne a racist based on her asinine and tasteless remark.

Sorry. Just felt like nit-picking today. ;-)

[DCdem87]

17. I CAN"T STAND

that nazi fascist hypocritical fat fucking bitch. there is a special place in hell for her , her husband , his boss, and his boss's wife, right beside osama and saddam.....

[Psephos]

23. Missing: did anyone find my lost sense of proportion?

Cheney took a cheap shot, but don't you think the nazi/fat bitch stuff is a bit over the top? :-) Seriously, spraying the body politic with flecks of spit doesn't seem likely to further the Democratic cause. (Whether or not it's justified is beside the point in this analysis.)

I'd hate to cut you off in traffic... LOL

[thebigidea]

28. and defending Lynne Cheney certainly furthers the cause.

Which cause was that, again?

[Psephos]

82. Cause and effect

I didn't defend Cheney at all. I commented that she took a cheap shot. It was classless.

To answer your question, the cause is prevailing in the election. I see no evidence that seething anger is the right prescription to attract enough new people to the party to produce a victory. In fact, as I look at the polls, I see evidence that it is keeping people away.

So what is more important? Winning elections, or feeling monumentally pissed off? It's possible these are mutually incompatible.

My complaint isn't with raw anger per se; it's with the way many are indulging strong emotion at the expense of strategy. Strategy is the surer path to electoral victory. Less heat and more light will provide better illumination.

[RevCheesehead]

42. The difference is that she was on TV...over and over again.

Hey, what happens in DU usually stays in DU, unless we take it public. It's a place to let off steam and vent our rage.

This orange shit is just that: shit that's steaming on a hot, muggy, summer day. The only purpose of Lynn's remark is pettiness.

I say, let 'em speak: their pettiness and juvenile behavior will ultimately be their undoing. I can't imagine a "true Christian" (right or left) being able to defend these childish remarks.

Chimpy? He smirks. (of course, there's his record, too).

[Thor_MN]

62. shit that's steaming on a hot, muggy, summer day

Lynn is an empty headed "accessory" to an evil ass, but did you happen to notice the byline? I doubt that Duluth topped 60 yesterday, at least anywhere near the lake. I spent 90%+ of my first 22 years within a mile of Lake Superior, much of it within 300 feet.

I think you are right, except for the heat bit - any steam in Duluth is because it's cold and humid.

It frustrates me that the slime that is *'s administration has been somehow coated with "Moral and decent" paint. It must have taken thousands of gallons of some experimental ultra Kilz primer to keep the stains from bleeding through. How people can see them as good is beyond my comprehension.

My bro-in-law is a lost cause, that sister is so apolitical, she probably won't vote. My other sis and my mom thought * was soooo much better than Clinton - I couldn't get them to see that * wasn't running against Clinton... Now that the oldest nephews are within a couple years of draft age, I think my mom (in Duluth) and sister are at least considering that * is a dipshit. I keep sane knowing that my dad and brother both hate * and what he represents.

[Pachamama]

53. She is a fat nazi bitch....

There...I said it...I'd say it to her face...And I don't care if its not "proper" for furthering the "democratic cause"....

:kick:

[wanpete]

19. Just goes to show

that they must really be running scared. Considering her husband who looks like he's got a foot on the grave and one on the banana peel, Kerry is looking mighty good these days. And coming from someone who was blessed with a God-given honey tone, I think Mr. Kerry looks quite the sport! Low blow Mrs. Dick.:spank:

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

20. She's just jealous

Every time her husband Dick goes out in the sun his bald head gets bright red. Kind of like the...uh...head of a dick.

[RobertSeattle]

21. Headline should be: Soft Porn Author Jokes on Kerry's Tan

[K8-EEE]

32. "Author Of Lame Dirty Books Pens Even Worse 'Joke'"

I think soft porn, that's doing her justice, hers was just a lame dirty book.

[meow2u3]

70. "Lezzy Porn Peddler Takes Cheap Shot About Kerry's Tan"

Expose Countess Wackula as the two-faced, self-loathing, about-to-be-outed lezzy she is!

[K8-EEE]

71. Countess Wackula!

LOL!!! Just in time for Halloween, that's a good one.

[ScrewyRabbit]

22. Who cares what that stega-cow thinks?

[jn2375]

24. Better orange than YELLOW

[bogey18]

25. If Cheney went out into direct ultra-violet light

he would burst into flame like a piece of cheap aluminum foil in a microwave.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

33. Here's the skin tone that the Cheneys find normal

”

[onehandle]

27. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Over a thousand dead American Soldiers.

Ha ha ha ha ha.............

That's the way I hear the harpie's joke. Stupid bitch. You assholes have NOTHING to run on. Keep sipping the blood of our fighting men and live it up. You are OUT in January.

[Gin]

29. Better to be orange...than chicken "YELLOW!"

g

[glitch]

30. So zombies envy the tans of the living - big deal, this is news? nt

[K8-EEE]

31. LOL!!! Thank God For DU Humor

I swear to God sometimes you just gotta laugh. We live in Bizarro land, what passes for politics these days, wow....

[JI7]

34. Kerry wishes he was hot like Dick Cheney

[JohnKleeb]

73. eww

:puke:

[Media_Lies_Daily]

36. At least Kerry gets out in the sun, unlike Count Dickula.

[mbee]

37. She ought to try to get one and maybe it would cover up all the

cracks in her face. What a

[sofa king]

38. This is classic Republican crib-smothering.

Obviously, there's more than a bit of trepidation that history may repeat itself and the President may fall victim to "Bronze Adonis" syndrome.

Story for the youngsters: Some historians attribute the narrow victory won by Kennedy in 1960 to the first televised debates that year. Kennedy had spent time campaigning in California and had a tan. Nixon was hospital pale and had a five-o'clock shadow.

Kennedy's margin of victory is so small that it really is possible to credit the election to people who voted for Kennedy simply because he looked better (just as it is possible to credit the 2000 election to some 550 crypto-fascist wife-beating latent homosexuals--or maybe that's just my take on it).

Republicans, having an uncanny ability to learn from their mistakes, particularly when it comes to spreading evil in America where Nixon failed, are obviously trying to lessen the impact Kerry may make by looking better--and taller--than the President.

[Carolab]

40. Yes, and now that Lynne pointed it out

Guess * better not show up with a suntan --of course, if he did, he'd look like an orangatan anyway!

[Thor_MN]

63. They also have managed to reverse a lot of what the country learned from

Nixon. That is, making presidential papers public after 12 years - so that the nation will know just what went on. "Saint" Ronnie's papers were due to go public and * slammed the lid on them. Probably why they are making such a fuss about naming things after him - got to do it before they get kicked out of office and we find out what really happened.

I would really like Kerry and Edwards to push the issue of *'s secrecy and pledge to roll back *'s executive order concealing presidential papers. It wouldn't hurt if the media gained some perspective either and started considering treason and starting illegal wars as more serious issues than the appearance or private lives of elected officials.

[struggle4progress]

39. I'm searching for words to describe the smell of huge hog farms. eom

[Swamp Rat]

44. That's because she prefers lizard green.

[Pachamama]

47. I knew you were going to say that....

I purposely looked for the Swamp Rat to be mentioning that fashionable "GOP Lizard Green" color....

Gawd, these people are so shallow...they must really be desperate if all they can do now is criticize Kerry's looks...

My Freeper nutcase that sends me emails posted that question today about how would I describe John Kerry's shade of Orange and I had no clue what the hell he was referring too...clearly these Freepers have their Karl Rove fast fact blasts and talking points and that was today's "Mass Distraction" from the real issues....

:puke:

[Swamp Rat]

54. Hey! Wassup Pachamama?

I just did a search for you 30 minutes ago... your post on the propaganda of the "soldier's tale" has gotten pretty long. I got a couple of those spams too. I'm going to see if I can find a different but similar one in my old emails.

Hee hee! You got me pegged on the fashion statements! I've been here all evening doin' the freeper smackdown. Here's what you can send your RW nutcase - my latest pic:

[Pachamama]

55. Yikes! AHHHH! That picture just scared the you know what out of me...

...that is precisely how I imagine Asscroft when he's out of his "skin"....

I'm doing okay...been busy writing lots of letters to Mom's and single women in the swing states to get out the vote...

Tommorrow I'm packing up the Pachababies and heading to Oregon to work for 10 days for the Kerry campaign...Friday Howard Dean is going to be in the Eugene Office and speaking at the Univ. of Oregon....My Father In-law got us tix and I'll get to meet him hopefully at the Kerry office.

I will not rest until I know we have fought these evil mofos and sent them back to hell...

I can't wait till tonite's debate...I'll be listening to it on NPR as I drive to Oregon...I'll have to watch the replay later, but I'm just excited to see how Kerry shreds the little smirky sh*t about foreign policy and the mess in Iraq...

Monkey boy will be choking on his pretzel, only thing is it won't be a pretzel, but rather his record!

:hi:

[IndianaGreen]

50. Even Bill Maher mentioned the highway cone look of Kerry's complexion

on the Tweety show, saying that it looks like a tan-in-a-can.

Memo to campaign:

Beware of melanoma. Sun is bad. It is worst is to let your candidate get sunburned on the eve of a major TV debate.

[truthisfreedom]

52. i think Kerry's people did this to create a comical start to the debates

so bush's people would let their guard down a little.

[NashVegas]

56. HEY LYNN! How Much Plastic Surgery Has Dickie Had?

Whoever did the eyework did a great job, I gotta admit.

[tom_paine]

57. Nazi Clowning has often been useful as propaganda

The only thing more interesting than this "kinder and gentler" reincarnation is the fact that iot still works now as well as it ever did.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

60. Here's A Picture For You...

Imagine Dick Cheney resting his belly on Lynne Cheney's back while they are having sex....

[arwalden]

61. Imagine If Teresa Had Made A Personal Attack (uh.. Joke) Like That

it would be the only thing that Katie and Matt talked about for three days in a row!

-- Allen

[RobertDevereaux]

64. Lynn Cheney *herself* is a joke!

[suegeo]

65. It's like Jr. High all over again

except scarier.

[democracy eh]

66. the rhetoric is in high gear because

BOOSH is going to LOOOOOSE

me thinks Prick Cheney could use some colour in his face. I guess they don't have tanning beds in the undisclosede underground bunkers.

[DFWJock]

67. Saw this on the news yesterday

#1. It wasn't funny.
#2. It hardly seemed spontaneous, looked like a total set up for Lynne's "hilarious" line.

[Ilsa]

68. Two words: "Casper Cheney" ...

He is just a ghost of a man.

[AspenRose]

74. Poor Cheney...they can't help it, really

Because they know their goose is cooked when Unka Dick is standing next to *John Edwards.* There's just no contest, in looks or content, and everyone knows it. JE wins hands-down.

[gauguin57]

76. Lynne Cheney probably has a knot of skin at the back of her head

the size of a basketball, from all her facelifts.

Better a bit of fake tan than a whole fake FACE, Lynne.

Go back to writing your soft-core porn paperbacks, you rhymes-with-rich.

[Chovexani]

77. You're shitting me!

This pug fugly bitch has the NERVE to talk about someone's looks? I've seen better looking things in my cat's litter box.

[americanwomanone]

78. Double Standard

For the Vice President's wife to make an immature comment like that is simply showing her lack of class. And they put Teresa down for telling a reporter to shove it?

[goodboy]

79. Old Tank-Ass, and Robo-Heart really sound desperate...eom

[dolstein]

80. Do you mean Lynn Cheney the pornographer?

NT

[Merlin]

81. This is like high school!

These morons are utterly clueless.