Why Democratic Men Make Better Lovers.

[bleever]

Inspired by Skinner's heart-wrenching and soaringly inspirational look at this topic, I propose this list, and ask for any additions you might wish to add.


Why Democratic Men Make Better Lovers than Republicans


-Not afraid to cry, having had practice every four years lately.

-Actually believe in a union that benefits all parties.

-Would never refer to their genitals as “hidden WMD”.

-Less likely to be fixated on women with adam’s apples.

-Know that “G-spot” is not slang for a thousand dollar bill.

-No actual preaching during use of the missionary position.

-Not as into that “trickle-down” thing as they are.

-While in bed, will never say “Guess what I heard on Rush today?”

-Actually turned on when a girl says that she threw up when Bush was “elected”.

-Have a much nicer concept of what constitutes a good “Southern Strategy”.

-Fewer concerns with “rapid downsizing”.

-No danger he’s Joe Scarborough in disguise.

-Know the difference between falafel and a loofah.



Please add your own suggestions.

:)

[Starbucks Anarchist]

1. LMAO!

Nice list.

How about "Won't outsource the job"?

[bleever]

2. Good one!

:toast:

[no_hypocrisy]

3. SNL broadcast 9/25/76: Democrats Do It. Classic.

Jimmy Carter.....Dan Aykroyd



< SUPER: "Paid Political Announcement" >

Jimmy Carter: Uh, hi there, everybody. It's good to see your faces. Tonight I want to talk to you about a timeless Democratic tradition - sexual performance in the White House! ( smiles and salutes the crowd ) I am going to personally try to be a lusty, zesty kind of president, and follow.. ( winks at girl in the crowd ) Hi, baby. How are you? ( returns to speech ) ..and follow the lusty example of LBJ, JFK, and FDR. I want you to remember for a moment the love life of Harry Truman, and my guess is that his First Lady was one satisfied customer! ( makes kissing gestures to girls in the crowd )

It is in my heart that I have commited adultery, and that God forgives me, and.. um.. I forgot to add when I said that, that I have worn women's clothing.. ( pauses and smiles ) ..and I look very beautiful in it, too! I dont know why I said that, but I think that in the long run it will help me get elected!

You know, when stopping like this, I have had the opportunity to lust after a lot of women in America, and I have found that.. "East coast girls are really hip, I really dig the styles they wear.." ( pauses and smiles ) "..and the Northern girls, with the way they look, they keep me warm up there.." ( clicks along ) "I wish they all could be California girls!"

So far in my campaign, I have only fantisized. But now I actually look forward to some of the girls I've lusted after. Saucy vixens like Helena Kazan, Sheri Lewis, Phyliss Newman - actually, I'm not sure God ever forgave me for Phyliss Newman. But I want you to look at our Democratic figures - FDR, LBJ, JFK, Harry Truman - now, here were lusty, zesty men, seething with vital hormonal secretions. These were men of action. Doers. Democrats! As your president, I look forward to deeply satisfying each and every last one of you! God forgive us all! Thank you!

( waves and salutes crowd )

( dissolve to SUPER: "Democrats Do It" )

( fade out )

[EVDebs]

38. JFK&wife and the Kruschev's was a famous pic if I remember correctly

Does anyone on DU have that one ? Or the Lenin's sitting on that park bench...classic.

[WolverineDG]

4. k&r

:hi: bleev!


dg

[Mabus]

5. 69 to a Dem doesn't mean the year Nixon was inaugurated

True story: I was working with an older Republican woman, very Republican, a few years ago. Her most cherished possession was a grip-and-grin photo of herself and Reagan. We were working on a project and the number 69 came up. She said that 69 was one of her favorite numbers. Then she grinned. It was like she had a secret. For the next fifteen minutes or so she kept saying "69" whenever she could and then hinted that it was her husband's favorite number too. I was getting a little uncomfortable. The last thing I wanted this work session to turn into was an all-girl sex talk afternoon. Finally I just came out and asked her why she and her husband liked "69" so much. She told me she met her husband at some Nixon inauguration party in Jan. 1969. She was grinning ear-to-ear and I was stunned. After a few seconds a friend of mine, who was working with us, starting laughing hysterically and said "that's not what we thought you meant." Then it was Mrs. Republican's turn to be confused. We explained to her, as delicately as we could, what went through our minds when we heard "69". She was shocked. She had never heard of such a thing. :rofl:

[crispini]

6. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

And fantastic OP, Bleever! :rofl:

[bleever]

7. I want more of these stories! Too. Damn. Funny.

Add to the list:

"Knows that '69' isn't just the year Nixon was inaugurated."




:rofl:

[Mabus]

15. I think about that story whenever I see Laura Bush

I wonder if she knows what it is? :yoiks:

on edit: Actually I think about it whenever I meet a Republican, male and female. :eyes:

[RevCheesehead]

9. Imagine how many times she said that to strangers...

without knowing what she was saying. :rofl:

[bleever]

11. While chuckling with secret delight, "Sixty nine...oh yes...sixty nine..."

"Oh...oh...vicuna, vicuna, vicunaaaaaa!!!"



:rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

13. Uffda!

:rofl:

[glitch]

49. You are killing me! nt

:rofl:

[Mabus]

14. That had never occurred to me

:rofl: I'm sure it has occurred to her though. Many, many, many times.

[Maraya1969]

30. Oh no that one kicked me over the top. Coffee up the nose and

everything! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray:

[MuseRider]

17. There are no words,

none. I am not usually rendered speechless but that is some story. *shakes head and sighs*

[evlbstrd]

18. That poor sheltered woman.

But now the meaning of 69 will too often bring up images of Nixon.
Thank you very much.

[RazzleDazzle]

26. That may be the funniest Republican story I ever heard

[glitch]

48. OMG I bet she never told the story of her "69" again! ROFL

You damn hippies ruined it for her! :rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

8. because brains is sexy!

K & R
:hi:

[bleever]

10. All Your Lust is Belong to Us.

:hi:

[RevCheesehead]

12. Actually, it belongs to:

[bleever]

16. It Takes A Village

...Person.


sparky_in_ma: :loveya:

[Patsy Stone]

19. Here are two I found on the internets:

1) Who ever heard of a good piece of elephant?

2) It ain't just the Republicans' economic polices that are limp.

Oh, and: “Guess what I heard on Rush today?” Definitely not hot. :rofl:

[electropop]

20. OMG That's Insanely Funny!

I don't think Letterman's staff could do it one bit better. Excellent list!

:rofl:

[Skinner]

21. LOL!

"No actual preaching during use of the missionary position."

These are great! :rofl:

[thespiritualzebra]

22. Not too proud to help change the batteries

[Maraya1969]

31. That one is exellent!

[Land Shark]

23. Willing to Learn: Not opposed to sex education on principle

the above principle may explain a few on the overall list

[smoogatz]

24. Fundies: missionary only, and just for making babies!

Neocons: All anal, all the time!

[banana republican]

25. Republicans are always on the bottom; they can only F**k UP.... n/t

[EVDebs]

27. MS, GA and TX apparently have banned sex toys.

How' dey do dat ? Confusion re federal appeals court rulings leave people in some states left to their own devices.

[bleever]

35. "Left to their own devices."

:rofl:

[EVDebs]

36. Gives new meaning to 'civil disobedience' huh ?

And I want to know, then, why Opus Dei and other groups that use flagellants and other devices of pain are 'legal'. The logic is definitely bass-ackwards, imho.

[bleever]

40. Hair shirts good, leather bad.

And for those who practice self-mortification, the injunction to "Love they neighbor as thy self" takes on a scary meaning.

[dalaigh lllama]

51. Oh, GOOD one!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[spooky3]

28. Did you have to use the word "soaringly"? I can't get the image of

John Ashcroft singing ("Let the Eagle Soar") out of my mind. And that's especially bad imagery on a sex thread.

[Maraya1969]

32. My mental image of that song just changed now too. Would make

a great snippet on SNL - cept they'd have to leave out the actual visual of the act I think.

Oh man someone make up a graphic of that one! (he's standing XX is on all fours on the bed. "Let the eagle soar coming out of his mouth")


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:patriot: :patriot: :patriot: :patriot:

[bleever]

46. Okay: Less likely that their collection of "mood music" includes

any John Ashcroft CDs.

:)

[spooky3]

29. You won't have to return the gifts they gave you

when they're arrested for embezzlement and accounting fraud.

[EVDebs]

37. If R's were mailed these 'toys' would they be arrested by DHS

for possession ?

[tandot]

33. As a fellow DUer said: "it's that 'caring about others' thing" ... we care

Most Democrats care about others, which includes making sure that your partner is as satisfied as you are.

Republicans don't give a sh*t about others. As long as they get theirs, they are happy. Just think about all the programs that help the neediest of America they want to get rid off. How is cutting programs that help the children, poor, frail, sick, and elderly pro-life?

[JudyM]

34. Well that explains Carville and Mary M... they're both happy when

she's satisfied... aaahh.

;-)

[Joe Chi Minh]

39. Ah, but I heard a group of American women talking among

themselves, saying that what the Republicans lack in size, they make up for in speed.... And apparently Tucker Carlsen was their poster boy onthat theme.

[bleever]

41. Tucker Carlson: changing the pace of more than just the news.

:)

[Joe Chi Minh]

42. Ha! Ha! Zackly!

[Gelliebeans]

43. Great List ! n/t

[Melissa G]

44. Too Funny Bleeve.......

[bleever]

45. When they take you out for a romantic dinner,

they don't leave the check for your grandchildren to pick up.

[bleever]

47. When they talk about "going all the way", you don't have to worry

that Baghdad is involved.

[Melissa G]

50. ROTFLMAO!!!! Not Only are Dem men better in the sack....

Some have a wickedly well developed funny bone that reaally tickles...
:evilgrin: :rofl:

[Karenina]

52. There's something very sick

about this discussion of "who is better." Methinks it's the patriarchal obsession with mens' dicks...

Skyscrapers, bombs, suppositories, phone jacks...

[Rocknrule]

53. Let me add some

Doesn't talk about having a "dirty bomb in my pants"
Doesn't moan "oooh ditto, ditto!"
Won't accidentally call you "Condi" in the throes of passion

[katty]

54. OK, so why are Democratic Women better lovers?

[BuelahWitch]

55. Because we know the real meaning of 69!

;)

Seriously, I used to date a conservative who said he only dated liberal women because we were better in the sack.

Can't say the same for him though, poor fella.

[bobbieinok]

57. Savage once gave advice.....date liberal women but marry conservative

ones

liberal b/c of great sex; sub message was they'll do anything with/for anyone b/c liberals are sluts

conservative b/c ...don't really remember; maybe b/c they'll stay with you no matter what a creep you turn out to be (don't believe in divorce; believe in 'obeying' hubby;, etc).......

[Boo Boo]

56. We're HUGH!!! /nt