PORN

[max sg]

I'd like to share this essay which discusses my own experience
with porn. I've included a link to the rest of the article below:

PORN
by Max Gordon
Sapience Magazine
April 2006

Porn is in my life again.

Sometimes when I look at porn, I can’t stop. I walk away eventually –
but usually hours, or most of an entire day, have gone by. On
occasion, I’ve forgotten what time or what day of the week it was,
missed appointments or gone to bed at dawn because of porn. I always
tell myself that I’m only going to watch it for a few minutes - as
I’m leaving for work, after I finish dinner, right before bed. Three
hours later, four or five or six hours later, I’m still sitting
there, staring at the screen, wondering where the time went. I’ve
lost years like that.

I’d had several months away from porn this last time. Then I just
got up one morning last week, walked over to the computer and went
to a porn site. I was disappointed in myself for failing yet again,
but I felt excited too. I’d missed my porn. When I downloaded the
first image and felt the familiar rush, the release of tension. It’s
like I hadn’t been away at all.

article continues at http://www.pornatsapience.blogspot.com

[Der Blaue Engel]

1. I have this same problem with DU

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[Porcupine]

3. And Computer Games.......I had to wipe every singly one

I don't own computer games. I don't buy computer games and I don't play computer games. If somebody got me subscription to Everquest or something like that I swear I sit therre and bleep away until I lost me job and the power was turned off.

Porn got nothing on computer games.

[Crandor]

2. So one guy can't control himself

Obviously, the solution is to ban pornography, since it's addictive. And while we're at it, let's ban alcohol, that worked really well in the '20s. :sarcasm:

[Porcupine]

4. Hey lets ban Sugar. Think about all the diabetics tormented

by all that sugary food everywhere they turn. Just sitting there saying "C'mon, just one more cookie won't kill you."

Let's outlaw refined sugars. Deadly stuff. A proven toxin.

[msgadget]

5. If we do, can we keep caffeine??

[WatchWhatISay]

6. That is the most fascinating thing I have read in a long time

I feel like I've visited a country I never knew existed.

Some of it was hard to read, but like its subject matter the story was addictive and I couldn't stop.

[HeatherDawn]

7. Just reading about porn makes me sick

I am not suggesting that it be outlawed because I believe in freedom of choice, but I do believe it exploits, demeans, and damages women, not to mention marriages, and any man participating in it will indeed pay a karmatic price.

[ixion]

14. I was married for 2 years to a woman who didn't want me to have porn

but wasn't there for me to help satisfy my urges.

Rather, I was told that my urges should be more like hers.

The human body, and human sexuality is not a sin. It is the most natural thing in the world. As is male's masturbating. It's like shaving. It's something we do.

I know that's difficult for women to understand, but it's the way it is.

[HeatherDawn]

15. But you don't have to use porn to masturbate

and porn exploits people and damages them. Keep blaming your X for your sexual addictions. I can only imagine how many times you said things like that to her.

Did you tell her PRIOR to marrying her that you used porn AND it meant so much to you that if she didn't accept it or have sex with you a specific amount you would divorce her????? Porn is controversial and morally objectionable to a lot of people and if you use it YOU need to have a long discussion with your mate before you marry them and see if it would work out. I mean, come on it sounds like you ruined that lady's life and here you are trying to justify it to strangers.

Breaking your wedding VOW after 2 years sounds to me like you have many serious issues including sexual ones and I feel bad for your wife.

Marriage is forever, except in cases of extreme abuse, you make vows to stick together and WORK through things and and grow as people. It is sad that you would give up after 2 years and that you would place sex over love.

As a woman your wife has every right to demand you not exploit women.

[ixion]

21. spoken like a woman

which I don't fault you for, I just say that you don't know what you're talking about.

And YES she did know that I viewed porn, even before we started dating.

My ex-wife was a psychopath, and I'll thank you not to judge me, considering you don't know a thing about me.

[HeatherDawn]

29. Spoken like a sexist

You SIR are implying my points are invalid because I am female. But hey thank you for not "faulting me" for my femininity.

What is the difference you using my gender to discredit my arguments and racism i.e. "spoken like a black"


I think with your sexist mindset you would be more suited to a conservative blog. In case you don't know feminists are progressives and I am a feminist.

You are really crossing a line here Sir I consider your "spoken like a woman" to be extremely offensive and I think a moderator needs to step in here and take some action.

[ixion]

32. hmmm... that's interesting... all I said was that you're a woman

that's not an insult. However, being called sexist is.

All I said was you can't say what's right for a guy because you're a woman. If that's sexist, I stand guilty as charged.

No offense intended. ;-)

[HeatherDawn]

34. I can say pornograhy is wrong no matter what my gender is

[ixion]

36. sure, but that doesn't make it true

there's a difference don'cha know. ;-)

[mongo]

23. It's you I feel sorry for

because you can't fathom that anyone with different sexual tastes and values would want to make or consume adult entertainment.

And to assume that anyone that does is a "sexual addict" is just an expression of your own repression.

[HeatherDawn]

31. My "problem" is with the exploitation of women, children, and men

I never said everyone who used porn was a sex addict, but it is my opinion that everyone who uses porn contributes to the exploitation of women, children, and men.

[mongo]

37. Because making $1000 or more for a 4 hour shoot

is certainly exploitation! Better to have them go pick lettuce...

[Left Below]

8. Porn/Sex/Romance all have different roles and purposes

Porn provides a source for aesthetic satisfaction that the other two may not. Not everyone can be with the beautiful.

Romance nourishes where porn cannot.

Relax and enjoy each where appropriate.

[HeatherDawn]

9. Wow your mate must be thrilled.....

Wow, how lucky for your wife/husband/signifigant other that you want to be with someone beautiful so badly you cannot be satified with only them.

Nice.

Real nice.

[Left Below]

10. Hey, I've got a Cezanne and still appreciate a Rembrandt

every now and then.

[JPZenger]

11. Really Affecting Relationships

I wonder how this instant access to so much porn is affecting relationships? I've read where it has affected marriages adversely. I wonder how much it is also affecting relationships among young people? If guys in college have instant access to porn on broadband, are they chasing women as much?

[HeatherDawn]

13. Typical American Selfishness

How unselfish and considerate of you to realize that many of your "Rembrandts" are either exploited, manipulated, drug addicts, or mentally ill and in lots of cases underage. But hey that's not your problem right?

It really does seem sooooooooooooo ironic to me you would probably turn your nose up at someone who wears fur with the excuse that they didn't kill the animal, but when it comes to the exploiting of women you justify you actions by saying you deserve an aesthetic sexual fix you can't get from a real person.

How very American of you.

[Crandor]

16. Typical Puritan Propaganda

How unselfish and considerate of you to realize that many of your "Rembrandts" are either exploited, manipulated, drug addicts, or mentally ill and in lots of cases underage.

James Dobson said so so it must be true!

It really does seem sooooooooooooo ironic to me you would probably turn your nose up at someone who wears fur with the excuse that they didn't kill the animal, but when it comes to the exploiting of women you justify you actions by saying you deserve an aesthetic sexual fix you can't get from a real person.

So now pornography kills the women who were in it? That's news to me. :eyes:

How very American of you.

Yep, all Americans are selfish. And all French people are cowards. And all blacks are criminals. Stereotyping is fun! :puke:

[HeatherDawn]

19. I notice you addressed everything EXCEPT the part about

How unselfish and considerate of you to realize that many of your "Rembrandts" are either exploited, manipulated, drug addicts, or mentally ill and in lots of cases underage.


Standing up for exploited women (and men and children) in pornography doesn't make me a "Puritan" it makes me a moral human being.

[mongo]

27. Wow, more propaganda

exploited, manipulated, drug addicts, or mentally ill and in lots of cases underage.

Drug addicts don't do very well in the adult industry. Once you miss a shoot or two you will get blackballed. And underage? Child porn is the filming of a crime. It is not the adult industry. In the past 20 years there have been exactly FOUR performers who managed to get work in the industry using fake ID. I wouldn't call that "lots" out of the thousands of performers who have made movies during that time.

Nice of you to also feel free to tell another woman what she can and can't do with her life. Maybe you should stand outside Walmart instead, and encourage people not to work there -- because I can assure you that a walmart casheir is far more exploited than an adult performer.

[ixion]

35. yep... I've met many female performers

and not one of them felt exploited.

They were in the business to make money, and didn't have hang-ups about their body.

Flakey talent (drug addicts, etc) don't do well at all. You're spot on with that.

[Left Below]

30. The "aesthetic fix" from porn is from real people.

And we enjoy erotica/porn together.

And Savanna Sampson is our favorite - we will be buying her new wine when it is available.

And the internet - (which the essay referenced) is led by housewife/amateur porn who create and maintain their own websites entirely of their own volition.


Sounds like you have a self-esteem issue.

[HeatherDawn]

33. Because I am anti-porn and a feminist I have a self-esteem

issue?

[Left Below]

38. I inferred from your message that you were threatened by porn

I feel threatened by all forms of totalitarianism - Bush fascists and book/porn banners get me going the most.

(note - I did not hear you state that you would ban/prohibit porn)...

I also listen to Howard Stern - you probably think his guests are exploited.

Thankfully, there are some women who are truly liberated and don't fall into society's pigdeonholes - nor do they care what you or I think.

That is healthy - in my view.

[mongo]

26. How telling

that you would feel threatened by an image in a magazine or on a screen.

[ixion]

12. so one guy has a problem with it...

geez... it's like going to the bathroom... get in, get it done and get on with your life.

This guy would get addicted to anything, IMO.

[HeatherDawn]

17. This coming from a guy who a few posts up said his marriage

was ruined after only 2 YEARS because of porn.

I think you are being very disrespectful to Sam SG who shared his most intimate thoughts about his addiction.

You have by your own admission suffered some serious consequences over pornography but yet here you are defending it "as no big deal" and "it's this guys problem not mine" when you know full well the damage it can do.

Someone needs some therapy.

[Crandor]

18. If people are not compatible

then it's really all for the best if they break up. It'll save them both a lot of misery in the long run.

[HeatherDawn]

20. If you believe that marriage vows can just be tossed aside after

2 years then WHY EVER GET MARRIED AT ALL!!!!

Jeez the divorce rate in this country is 50% it is so damaging to the children involved.

"Well your mommy kept catching Daddy exploiting women so I left her. I hope one day you grow up and your husband does that to you honey because if you don't satisfy your man sexually he has ever right to leave you and be sure to compromise your moral convictions about pornography if it will make him happy"

"Son I hope when you are 16 a sexual predator pays you to become a porn star so that guys like myself who think they deserve to be sexually gratified in whatever perverted way we can convince and manipulate vulnerable people like you into can suck your soul out for $50."

[ixion]

24. exactly.

I get lonely being a bachelor sometimes, but it's NOTHING compared to the lonliness of being in a bad marriage.

[ixion]

22. don't read into my post

my marriage was not ruined because of porn. My marriage was ruined because my ex-wife was psychotic.

You and I will never agree, but I'll thank you to stick to the subject and stop the personal attacks.

[mongo]

28. LOL!

Someone needs some therapy.

And people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...

[mongo]

25. LOL!

How over the top does a piece have to be for people to recognize it as right-wing propaganda trash.

Or trying to watch the Playboy channel through the wavy lines used to block out non-subscribers. A couple was having sex. I could only just make out their bodies, so I pressed my face against the television and licked the screen where the lady’s breasts were. I pretended to French kiss the man and felt red and blue prickly dots on my tongue, a tangy, electric feeling.

What a load of hot, steamy BS that article was. In my 3 years as porn clerk 50 hours/week, I don't know anyone who I could describe as a porn addict. If anything, over-exposure to adult entertainment makes it BORING.