Survive the madness, seek shelter under Stephen Harper's hair

[ConcernedCanuk]

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http://www.thespec.com/News/Discover/article/452494

Survive the madness, seek shelter under Stephen Harper's hair

October 18, 2008
Paul Benedetti
The Hamilton Spectator
(Oct 18, 2008)

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I was trying really hard to follow the federal election campaign but I couldn't help being slightly distracted by The Collapse Of The Western World. The implosion of the stock market, the evaporation of the banking system, the announcement of the end of the American Empire and Sarah Palin's unusual hairstyle distracted me from more important Canadian issues -- like what song would become the new Hockey Night In Canada theme and who might be our next prime minister.

I have to admit I didn't need an international monetary meltdown to draw my attention away from a campaign that had all the thrills, chills and emotional range of a Margaret Atwood reading. But a call from our financial planner was hard to ignore.

He phoned to calm us down, but I thought his interrupting the call to yell at underlings, "Sell everything you fools! We're doomed! Aiiiiheeeee!" was not completely reassuring. I noted there was quite a bit of hysterical screaming in the background. But he assured me that business was as usual except for the fact that a huge black vortex had suddenly appeared in the middle of the office sucking away several brokers, the water cooler and his secretary.

/snip/

So that left Harper, clean-shaven, spectacle-free and sporting a helmet head of TV-anchor grey hair that could, single-handedly resurrect Gillette's The Dry Look. (That would be very helpful by the way because, clearly unwisely, in the '70s I invested heavily in velour jumpsuits and male hair spray.) Apparently, when Harper was on a Caribbean vacation, a hurricane swept in and a small, local family sought shelter under his hair. They survived. "We felt safe in the hair," said the mom. "It barely moved."

More, and worth reading

humorous, but sorta true.