An Alternate Approach to Stop School Bullying: Fix the Victims

[xchrom]

http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2011/10/an-alternate-approach-to-stop-school-bullying-fix-the-victims/247548/

Elementary school is rough. There's no textbook for dealing with bullies, so children who are suddenly immersed in peer groups have to figure out how to handle difficult people on their own. And though many schools have anti-bullying programs in place, "most of them are not based on research or have not been tested for effectiveness," says child psychologist Jennifer Connor-Smith. Bullying research, it seems, has focused more on understanding aggressors, not the aggrieved. Given how pervasive and brutal bullying is, however, it's hard to justify a prevention-heavy approach to research that neglects treatment.

A new study in the journal Child Development aims to correct this imbalance. Instead of asking why bullies bully, scientists led by University of Illinois psychology professor Karen D. Rudolph are beefing up the coping side of bullying research by looking into why victims retaliate, ignore, or repair relationships after an attack. Through a series of surveys to 373 second-graders and their teachers, they investigated how each child approached and valued his or her peer relationships, how many of the children had been bullied, and how they responded to such attacks.

The data was revelatory. Though it wasn't astounding to find out that half of the children reported being the object of taunts, gossip, or intimidation, how they reacted to their harassers was. The key to anticipating victims' responses, it turns out, is to figure out their motivations for interacting with their peers in the first place. That is, kids who wanted to be popular and feel superior tended to retaliate impulsively. Those who wanted to appear cool by avoiding criticisms were more likely to pretend like nothing happened. And those who were genuinely interested in fostering friendships tended to react in healthful, positive ways. They asked their teacher for advice, sought emotional support, and found means to solve the tension with those who harassed them.

Promoting an egoless approach to building relationships that encourages children to react in such mindful ways is key to protecting kids from the psychological blowback of bullying. Rudolph's study shows that kids who are able to respond with care have better mental health than those who respond to stress thoughtlessly. As University of Maine psychologist Cynthia Erdley puts it, "Children who adopt pro-social development goals seem to be well-prepared to deal adaptively with the challenges they are likely to experience."



*** if you are a parent -- how do you evaluate if your child is adopting pro-social development goals?

[Sarah Ibarruri]

1. I think parents of bullies don't teach children empathy, and allow their kids to get away with it

I was a teacher and that was the impression I got.

In my classes, I allowed no bullying. In the playground, I allowed no bullying. Bullying was met (by me) by calls to the parents (who generally did not want to be hassled, and defended their kid). Bullying was met (by me) by detention. Bullying was met (by me) by having the child remain after class for a 'little talk' with me.

I had a zero tolerance attitude towards bullying. It makes me sick.

[get the red out]

2. Sounds like blame the victim

But with some nice big words.

If only those kids that don't fit in knew how to react in a way that would maintain their mental health and show their desire to be friends with the poor, pitiful bully they would be fine. They must have it coming for wanting to "look cool" or "be popular"; little brats. Go Bullies!!!! :sarcasm:

[xchrom]

3. yeah -- i couldn't figure out how a parent was supposed to evaluate that.

poster #1 makes what i think is the best case.

[get the red out]

6. Yes, the bully hasn't been "raised right" as my Mom would say

The whole deal of evaluating the motives behind how little kids react when they are ABUSED by another kid disgusted me. How did they even determine that? Did the kids just try to give them the answer they thought was wanted, the "right one"? It just didn't make any sense. The bullied kids didn't set the bully up to abuse, they aren't responsible for his actions.

[zalinda]

4. How about, leave me the fuck alone?

Most kids just want the bullying to stop. They don't want to be popular, cool or a friend to the bully, they just want to be left alone. This is a bullshit study.

zalinda

[FiveGoodMen]

5. I say

:puke: to Karen D. Rudolph.

[DeSwiss]

7. This so-called ''study'' appears to be gobbledygook to me.

It seems to me to be another instance of trying to legitimize the deflecting our energies toward the symptoms of the problems, rather than its causes. Which is what modern medicine (and society in-general) seems to have primarily devolved into. With the monetizing of everything in our lives now, its the surest way to make long-term bucks off the ''sickies.'' Which should surprise no one. I'm sure they'll soon come out with a ''non-bullying pill'' for this very malady now that's being ''identified, legitimized and regularized.''

- The New Hippocratic Oath: "Go ahead and do as much harm as you need to maximize your quarterly earnings reports."

K&R

[WingDinger]

8. Hereis a radical plan to CURE bullying. If you are caught bullying

You will be sentenced to go fer{servant}, for a day, to the victim. And any repercussion, within a month, maybe longer, would result in a week. Only on good report, would sentence served be checked off.

This would create a stockholm syndrome. Empathy forced from the sociopath. Favors granted by their intended victims. Power reversed. Lesson learned. Maybe even respect for intended victim.

It wouldnt take many of these for bullies to shy from exposure. Equalizing most students.