Torture Island: A FOX Reality-Based TV Show Starring Congressional Leaders

[struggle4progress]

With Your Host Alberto Gonzales

January 19, 2005

The rules are quite simple. The majority and minority leaders of both houses and their whips (vote enforcers that is) are flown via a Halliburton helicopter to a remote island 90 miles south of Key West, Florida.

They are administered various forms of torture that Alberto Gonzales has deemed acceptable, and the survivor gets free medical care at Walter Reed Medical Center in Maryland. After the recovery of the lone survivor, he gets to lead -- in a laudatory outpouring of praise -- the nominating speech for Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General of the United States of America, emphasizing what a growth experience torture has been for him, the survivor of Torture Island. Then there will be a minute of silence for the visitors to Torture Island who didn't survive, and Alberto Gonzales will be confirmed as America's Attorney General.

Think of the visuals and drama a show like that might offer:

* Tom DeLay, with a hood over his head, at the top of a pyramid of his Republican puppets in Congress, their genitals bouncing into each other as Tom leads cheers for Bush's inauguration and Dennis Hastert urinates on himself while trying to keep his side of the pyramid from collapsing.

* Or Roy Blount (GOP Minority Whip) being "waterboarded" until near or actual drowning. It's just like bobbing for apples, ain't it Alberto? And if Gonzales' military "associates" misjudge and Mr. Blount accidentally waterboards himself to death, they'll be a nice "runner-up" prize from Donald Rumsfeld awarded to his widow (his second wife, a lobbyist). Maybe it will be a barrel of apples, because it's all just so much fun defying the Geneva Convention. <snip>

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