"Better than Hitler" - a modest enough ad proposal for the RNC

[thebigidea]

http://www.terminalproduct.com/betterthanhitler.rm

Dear Ed Gillespie:

I've been hearing a lot of blather lately about people comparing Bush to Hitler, most of it from your own website. This clever advertising must continue!

Ed, you've got to embrace the mantle of neoconservatism's spiritual father - to that end, I enclose a commercial for you to run in key states and a slogan: Bush/Cheney 2004: BETTER THAN HITLER.

love and kisses,
me

[coloradodem2005]

1. That says a lot.

[thebigidea]

15. i'm tellin' ya, perfect for the RNC to get the swing voters lined up

[w13rd0]

2. Haha...

...GWB: "my grandpa knew Hitler, he was a friend of Hitler, our family were big Hitler boosters, and I can assure you, I'm no Hitler." That's great. Gillespie is such a hypocritical tool.

[thebigidea]

4. its sad that the best thing that they can say about Bush...

is that he isn't Hitler.

some resume!

[Cat Atomic]

9. Yeah- I remember when his big selling point was "he's not Clinton".

Now it's "well... he's not Hitler".

[thebigidea]

10. "ok, so the Poland/Iraq metaphor is apt-but he's not gassing yet! REALLY!"

[Cat Atomic]

11. He's not Hitler! Where's the square moustache?! See, I win!

[thebigidea]

17. Sure, so he does weird stiff-armed salutes... that's a COINCIDENCE.

its an old Crawford tradition - uh, a Midland Texas pastime - uh, doin' little salutes like that by the campfire...

[thebigidea]

26. "Its more Mussolini than Hitler!" snapped Karl Rove to a nearby drone.

[RandomKoolzip]

32. "Who's going to get your garbage: Me...or Tojo?"

Forward into the Past with new, improved Bhitushler! Now with MORE SUGAR!

[thebigidea]

68. for some reason, one of my fav Firesign lines has to be...

"now for the rumors BEHIND the news..."

[DuctapeFatwa]

3. ROFL! It's perfect!

[thebigidea]

18. thanks! electrical tape moustaches are your best entertainment value...

[Beetwasher]

5. A New And Improved Hitler!

Who says fascists are afraid of change?

Compassionate Conservatives give you the Happy Hitler!

[w13rd0]

6. It's a kinder, gentler Hitler...

...with a thousand points of light and a city on a hill, or some such meaningless bullshit...

[thebigidea]

19. the sort of Hitler that has a domineering, hateful mother

that looks oddly like a founding father.

[thebigidea]

60. Happy Hitler - now with STAINFIGHTING POWER!

[Minstrel Boy]

7. Time to roll out the kinder, gentler Fuhrer

He loves dogs, too. Though on occasion, he drops them.

[thebigidea]

8. yeah, I was actually going to stick that pic in there too

[w13rd0]

13. Not to be naaauuuughty...

...but Hitler was a big dog guy too. He was actually on the cover of some Dog Owners magazine in the 30s. So we best not point that out too much, might blunt the impact of "I'm not Hitler" campaign.

[thebigidea]

14. "I am soooo not Hitler right now. I could not be ANY less Hitler."

"Why are you looking at me like that? I'm not Hitler! NOOOOOOOT HITLER! Well, maybe just a little."

[RandomKoolzip]

30. "I have never been LESS Hitler than I am RIGHT NOW."

Let's get Trace Beaulieu to pitch this campaign to Gillespie!

[thebigidea]

31. if Bob Saget ever found out, it would break his heart

[fujiyama]

38. Ah, but remember..

Hitler also gave cyanide to his dog before he commited suicide, to make sure it would work...

[thebigidea]

40. awfully conservative of him

[stevedeshazer]

12. lol

Bush: The Compassionate Fascist

[thebigidea]

16. the softer, more absorbant fascist.

[RandomKoolzip]

34. "Please don't squeeze the Hitler..."

I mean, the Not-Hitler.

[thebigidea]

35. yes, its the award-winning Hitler Follies of 1923 - Austrians ahoy!

[RandomKoolzip]

39. "This is Walter Winchell saying, these new Hitler cigarettes

are just the brand for me - less tar, more National Socialist dogma! Oh, and DO try to mix with a better class of people...."

[thebigidea]

69. I was litening to Walter Winchell recordings the other day... he was

exceedingly proto-FOX NEWS.

[fob]

20. Is that Nostradamus I hear?

In 2000 plus the year 4
a simian shall rule the new world
taking the mantle from hister
come november bushler* will rule no more

[thebigidea]

21. you're coming down with a bad case of the cassandra complex

might want some dimetapp for that.

[fob]

22. So you were able to crack the mystic code?

Do tell! What does it mean?

[thebigidea]

25. it means "Syria ASAP"

[ieoeja]

23. And what would grandfather Senator Prescott Bush say today?

"I knew Hitler. And my grandson, sir, is NO Adolf! (Would that he were.)"

[thebigidea]

24. I wonder which generation of Bush will finally get branded "like Hitler"

Caligula J. Bush!

[thebigidea]

27. Jebediah H. Walker-Lee Laura Bush... Prescott Walker "Plucky" Bush...

you know they won't go away. Poppy probably has vats of fully-grown Bushes ready for political office.

[RandomKoolzip]

36. New names for Future Hitl- uh, I mean..BUSHES.

Skylar J. Bush
Prescott "Cock Hammer" Bush
Carson Hannah Tyler Kayla Bush
George "The 'W' is for 'whoa!'" Bush
Prescott "Hot Nappies" Bush
Prescott "Fuck Lunch" Bush
Prescott "Old Croupy" Bush
George "Cancerball" Bush
Steve Bush

[thebigidea]

59. there probably IS a Steve Bush out there... plotting...

[thebigidea]

28. NEW VIDEO - part two - "Better Off Wolfowitz"

http://www.terminalproduct.com/wolfowitz.rm

New! Spicy! Satisfying - PNACeriffic!

[thebigidea]

29. sooooooooo, did that one work?

[RandomKoolzip]

33. Hot, hot, hot!

Now THERE'S the tattoo I've been looking for to decorate my entire back, a la Hammerin' Hank Rollins....

[thebigidea]

37. I'm waiting for Wolfowitz to play a merry divorcee with two darling kids

on some shitty sitcom.

[RandomKoolzip]

41. And Richard Perle will be his small wisecracking black child.

And he'll be adopted to boot. I smell ratings bonanza!

[thebigidea]

42. Grady, the PNAC guy is here! (cue sanford and son theme)

Thomas Friedman as the wacky neighbor constantly high on PROVIGIL and globalism.

[RandomKoolzip]

43. "Cheney, you big dummy!"

Cheney will be the stick-in-the-mud high school principal who insists on microwaving his "Hot Pockets" in the school cafteria even though it gives him heart attacks.

[thebigidea]

44. "I told you the pacemaker was EXPERIMENTAL, damnit! GEORGEEEEEE!"

[RandomKoolzip]

46. A heart attack in every action packed episode!

"That's our freakish mishap!"

[thebigidea]

47. Donald Rumsfeld as their loveable grandpa...

... who lives like George Kennedy in "Death Ship," extracting gold fillings from corpes in the dusty basement.

[RandomKoolzip]

48. For the first week: Guest Star Kelsey Grammer as "Doug!"

For the second week: Guest Star Kelsey Grammer as "Doug!"
For the third week: Guest Star Kels, well you get the point.

[thebigidea]

49. you see, Kelsey provides George with certain... substances...

certain substances crucial to his contractually obligated special guest status.

[RandomKoolzip]

50. And Timothy Van Patton as "George W. Bush" in.....

"President Mumbles!" Thursday nights this fall on ABC, right after "Battle of the PNAC Stars!" (zany theme music) Booooing! Can an embittered, uninelligible ex-president get along with his kooky cabinet, his corpse-defiling grandfather who lives in the basement and his adopted neo-con black child who is several decades older than him....in suburban Crawford, Texas?? Tune in and find out!

I think we got ourselves a killer concept here...get Eisner on the phone!

[thebigidea]

51. I'm working on a segment of video kinda like this, with sitcom soundtrack

ridiculous laughs, sighs, etc. in the background as the Cheney mob plots war & plunder.

[RandomKoolzip]

53. Get The Weatherman to do running commentary....

and I can totally see this replacing "Friends" on thurday nights.

[thebigidea]

54. one day, cutrate Oliver Stones will curn out movies by the dozens about W

until that day, I'll use masks and thrift store props.

[RandomKoolzip]

55. It's a good thing Golan-Globus hasn't cut off your production

budget yet! The USA network will be so psyched.....

[thebigidea]

56. they were responsible for one hysterical classic, "REVENGE OF THE NINJA"

Phil Proctor did voices on the dubbing, TONS OF EM. And sound effects. Its utterly insane, well worth mocking with some friends...

[RandomKoolzip]

57. I remember poor Proctor's bit part in "Amazon Women on the

Moon" from 1987...poor guy! Really felt sorry for him.

I'll keep my eye out for that one....Hey, here's a question for you...Do you remember a TV movie from 1982-3 entitled "Dangerous Lives" starring Diana Scarwid as an high school guidance counselor who is violently antidrug, and gets her students to burn all their drugs and paraphrenalia in a climactic scene in the gym? THAT was a "mocking with friends" classic. What the Beatles were to rock and roll, that movie was to our "mocking" circle in high school. It's a classic of Reagan paranoia....if you should see it on video, DO check it out.

[thebigidea]

58. will do, I love hysterical antidrug films

Dwain Esper's "NARCOTIC" is a blast, hysterical old film with bugeyed junkies on the loose.

[frank frankly]

45. gawd

funny
laughing

thanks, brother

[Jack Rabbit]

52. It wouldn't work for the Bushies

It's a true statement. Telling the truth is toally out of character for them.

[TheDalaiMama]

61. I love it..."better than Hitler" new GOP campaign slogan.

dalai

[thebigidea]

62. I'm sure Karl Rove briefly considered it, but Karen Hughes shook her head.

[thebigidea]

63. they could always offer free tote bags... that would blunt the impact.

[the populist]

64. I've read Mein Kampf and I can tell you that...

neoconservatism is very similar to naziism.

[thebigidea]

65. do you keep your copy of it next to "An End to Evil" by Perle/Frum?

[stickdog]

66. Margaret Cho: "Of course Bush isn't Hitler."

"Maybe if he ever applied himself ..."

Vote for Bush. He's not Hitler.

[thebigidea]

67. probably the funniest line that night...

though Franken's O'Neill quip was pretty good too.

Bush: Not Hitler Enough to Cause a Problem.