Will Jesus Return As A Woman Next Time?

[David Zephyr]

Poll question: Will Jesus Return As A Woman Next Time?

There!

Am I the only one that is sick of seeing religious threads cluttering up the General Forum that have no relevance to the causes of social, economic or environmental justice?

If not, then there are some options here in this poll:

[maveric]

1. I believe that Jesus has returned many times in both genders..

and has either been ignored and shamed or killed by zealots.
Thats just my new age opinion.

[arwalden]

2. None Of The Above... The Dead Cannot Come Back To Life

:-)

[Delano]

14. Yup - sadly

Whenever I watch Futurama, I think - "Yeah, I'd be a head like Nixon if it meant I could live on. Why not." I really don't wanna die... ever...

[arwalden]

22. Oh I Just LOVE The Heads In Jars...

Dick Clark, Nixon, Joan Rivers! Too funny.

-- Allen*


*would be happy living forever as a HAL-like computer (only not so paranoid)

[Oddman]

3. Jesus was probably a very nice guy

who was a little delusional . . .

[libhill]

33. Actually

If you take into account a few of his sayings, such as his statement that his followers without a sword should sell their cloake and buy one, or his remark that he came to bring not peace on earth, but a sword - you might draw the conclusion that he was little more than an anti-Roman zealot,and was crucified as such.

[redqueen]

4. I'll never understand

why people sick of any particular type of thread would start another.

But that's just me, I guess. :shrug:

[Dookus]

5. I think

religion is inextricably linked to politics. Religion is one of the most powerful forces driving human behavior. It oughtta be discussed.

[AntiCoup2K4]

6. Jesus will return to Mt Olive in the same form as when He left 2000 years.

..ago. There will be no doubt who He is when He returns.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

7. Jesus is fine

some of his followers are asswipes...

I think he will return as a YAK..then we'll be sorry for all those lounge threads!

[David Zephyr]

9. Giggle!

:hi:

[President Jesus]

37. look out husbands, this dude will rock your wives' world!

[Mandate My Ass]

8. Yes

she'll look exactly like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider.

I'm inviting her to all my parties so I don't have to buy wine anymore.

[tigereye]

27. that's funny

[Name removed]

10. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[David Zephyr]

15. My Brother Walt.

I have read your post and must lovingly admonish you in the words of that great American White Male Christian Saint Elvis of Tupalo: "Don't Be Cruel."

[Walt Starr]

18. Um, I was quoting Bad Sammy

Sam Kinison, it was a bit he used to do about Pat Robertson.

[Djinn]

38. Kinison really?

I always thought he was a prat - but that piece had me spitting on my PC.

I'm happy for the religion threads to be in general discussion - in the US religion is inextribly wound up with politics until that isn't the case - where else should they be? Admin's have said they are reluctant to start new forums...anyone that finds certain threads annoy them can always just not go into them or even put them on ignore - not hard

[PurityOfEssence]

11. Not so much disturbed as dismayed

Even if some one of the many versions of mental tidiness really is true, the time spent is still a waste. Unfortunately, many of us feel that religion is the greatest danger to mankind, and since many others will go to any length to legitimize guesses, we will inevitably eat up the clock with such musings.

With all the obvious, provable injustices to right and general chores to be done, it's sad that proving oneself right is the prime preoccupation of our species, yet that seems to be so.

After awhile, there's a strong pull on one to give up on mankind, since its activities are so blockheaded, foolhardy and silly. Unfortunately, that's the road to conservatism: giving up on the rest of humanity.

[David Zephyr]

12. Well Said, POE.

:thumbsup:

[buddhamama]

13. return to this hell

i don't think so.
we're on our own.

[David Zephyr]

20. Buddhamama!

"We're on our own." Maybe that's the problem: the majority of people haven't realised that yet...we are on our own.

[buddhamama]

21. David,

if people did come to the realization,
what would they do with their dashboards?

good to see you!!!

[Walt Starr]

16. I told the priest, don't count on any second coming

god got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming.
He had the balls to come the gall to die and then forgive us.
Though I don't wonder why
I wonder what he thought it'd get us.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

17. after perusing GD..Jesus has already returned as Ralph Nader

so I changed my mind

[David Zephyr]

19. You Slay Me, Woman!

:thumbsup:

[PurityOfEssence]

23. I've got a hammer and some nails...

but I'm sure he'd enjoy it too much, and he doesn't deserve the gratification.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

24. Another new keyboard you owe me!

[sangh0]

25. It can't be Him

Nadir would find it impossible to say "Forgive me..."

[evil_orange_cat]

26. I think this Jesus stuff is all a bunch of hooey

he probably was a real person... a nice guy... but I doubt he was "the son of God" in a supernatural sense... no way do I believe all thes efairy tales.

[tigereye]

28. hmm the idea of Jesus coming back as a woman is

interesting. I like religious discussions with those who are open minded. I find religion and the need for it fascinating. Or maybe one's need for meaning as opposed to "Is that all there is?" Maybe they all ought to read more Joseph Campbell - gives one an interesting perspective on the similar themes found in many cultures and religions. Why anyone thinks their religion is the only one, or the best, though, is beyond me. Religion, the necessary ( to many) social construct?

[David Zephyr]

30. Jospeh Campbell: A Very Wise Man, Tigereye

"A myth is a public dream.
A dream is private myth." -- J. Campbell.

That blew me away when I read it the first time years ago. It blows me away today.

[tigereye]

46. I love the way that common themes

and archetypes repeat throughout cultures ( some of them disturbing such as the need for sefl-flaggellation in the name of whatever deity it may be)and that those involved don't see the commonality of those beliefs. He was an amazing and interesting man. :)

[Zookeeper]

29. I'll be sure to pose that question...

to the next Fundie who knocks on my door. :evilgrin:

[KoKo]

31. I believe that Jesus is here, and has been with us all t hrough this.. He

is crying tears for us, but he's "been through this before" where his "name was used for blasphemy" and each time he is wounded and bleeds and sheds tears for what "HAS BEEN DONE IN MY NAME..."

He is here...he just needs some help these days.

BUSH & HIS FUNDIES are NOT Christians...so they would never help Jesus.

Jesus is a "composite of the best of us." Some parts male and some parts female, IMHO...IMHO...

[bemildred]

32. Jesus who? Are you another of those immigrant bashers? nt

[President Jesus]

34. This belongs on the "magical man in the clouds" board (nt)

[Radical Activist]

35. Will the female Jesus be hot?

Jesus is supposed to be perfect so will she come back as an ideally beautiful woman? How serious of a sin would it be to nail the Daughter of God? I mean, in a sexual way, not on a cross.

Oh man, I'm so going to hell. :evilfrown:

[killbotfactory]

He'll come back as a transgender.

[icymist]

44. Jesus had a sects change!

Get it?.....a sects change?

Kay, okay.........Boooooo!

[jpgray]

36. She/he will still be killed very expediently

He'll say to the rich 'give your goods to the poor' and we'll lay Jesus Christ in his grave.

[Angelus]

39. No...he was a man.

And I believe that.

[The Screaming Icon]

45. Jesus?

I'll believe it when I see it.

[Spider Jerusalem]

40. Time Iesum transeuntum non riverentum.

Dread the passage of Jesus, for he shall not return.

And what in the name of all that's unholy does the hypothetical question of whether a mostly fictional god-figure from one of the more popular and prevalent mythologies is going to return to earth without a Y chromosome have to do with justice of any variety?

[Zorra]

41. God is wise, but she may not exhibit the same sense of humility next time.

Sorry, for my blatant misterogyny, guys.

[He loved Big Brother]

42. Has anyone ever read "Sati"?

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0812510356/qid=1086254378/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/002-3477284-7555214?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

I think it would make a great gift for those to give to their teenagers.

[cleofus1]

43. and if she does come back as a woman

Do you think there is a chance I can get in Her panties? I am after all a charity case...