Email from a friend

[Individualist]

A DU search indicates this hasn't been posted before. Enjoy!

GMT REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York 2004




6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A drain on our nation's economy.

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton piñata

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft:
Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[LTR]

1. At first, I thought that was the program for Reagan's funeral (nt)

[SheilaT]

2. Actually,

it has, or at least some version of it. But probably not in the last week or so.

But things move so fast on DU, that there are bound to be many who hadn't yet seen it.

[rock]

3. I got it

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

A whole minute might be too long, but what are you gonna do?