Republican National Committee Convention Schedule Leaked

[ElectroPrincess]

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
Here is the convention opening night schedule. :evilgrin:

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' That Man"
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of Black Republicans
10:46 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[clydefrand]

1. Only 6 hours!

to accomplish all those wonderful things. Wow! they are smarter than I gave them credit for being. ;-) Thanks for the chuckle.

[progdonkey]

2. only 5 minutes?

"Blame Clinton" only five minutes?

[eleny]

3. I heard that they've acquired Monica's blue dress

...and cut it into tiny little pieces. They're going to be hawked as relics during the convention - "Pieces of the true dress".