Bush carries a petrified dog turd in his pocket for luck....

[kentuck]

He has carried it every day since 9/11 and it should be pointed out that we have not had another terrorist attack since that time. White House insiders are discussing whether or not to use this in their campaign commercials which they plan on test-marketing in the near future.

He found the turd on his pig farm just after he moved to his exclusive escape. At first, he thought it might be a pig turd but after much scientific analysis, it was determined to be a dog turd that pre-dated the previous pig farm.

Bush first noted the special powers of the dog turd when he almost sawed off his leg while out clearing some scrub oak down on his lower forty. He started carrying the turd in his jacket pocket and he never had another accident or near-accident with the chain saw.

Then, on Sept 10th, he decided to place the turd in his special cigar box where he kept his marbles and special baseball cards. Everyone knows what happened the next day. He decided then and there to get the cigar box down from its secret hiding place and retrieve the dog turd. Never again would he leave the dog turd behind.

And, as they say, the rest is history. He was carrying the dog turd when he landed on the Abraham Lincoln. He was carrying the dog turd when Uday and Qusay were shot to pieces. He was even carrying it when he was on the 12th hole of the golf course just a couple of days ago, when the UN HQs was truck-bombed in Baghdad.

Rove and Cheney will decide in the next few days whether or not to use it in the upcoming political commercials. They are debating whether or not it would be appropriate to use the dog turd to take advantage of their political opponents. However, they are quick to point out, there has not been another terrorist attack upon America since Bush has adopted the dog turd. He sleeps with it under his pillow.

[Randi_Listener]

1. How does he fit the turd and .....

....Saudi Arabia in his back pocket?

[Cocoa]

2. he calls it Mini Me

:-)

[wellstone_democrat]

3. not to be a pest but...

unless this *isn't* satire (and has a link to an amazingly odd story in the press) isn't it "Lounge" material?

[kentuck]

4. Have a little vision...

This relates to the Bush strategy of winning the next election by claiming they have protected our nation and that we have not had another terrorist attack under his great "leadership". I understand the analogy may be a little far-fetched...:)

[Merlin]

9. You seriously do not understand.

The only way to fight fascism is through satire.

This is as subversive as it gets!

[kentuck]

10. Thanks Merlin!

I have accepted that all genius is misunderstood. :)

[robbedvoter]

5. That would be a different one than Turd Blossom, then?

Cuz Karl doesn't fit in a pocket. Wuz wondering...

[soup]

6. Proof positive

that we're all in deep doo-doo.

Oh, man. Can't believe I said that. :spank:

[Paschall]

7. He carries a dog turd next to the badge...

...of that dead New York Port Authority cop George Howard? He would do something like that.

[Merlin]

8. Hey, Kentuck, this is fabulous!

Nothing I love more than great satire, and you have hit a home run. The Onion would kill for this piece.

[Generic Other]

11. Petrified dog turd is actually Bush's legacy

And he really found it in his underwear.

[UTUSN]

12. It Takes One to Carry One n/t

[Octafish]

13. Ron Reagan Jr said his "Dad's crapped bigger turds than W."

How does this fit in with a guy who's obviously a good judge of character. Would Smirk then be the "Littler Turd from Crawford"?

[ignatius]

14. Oh man, this posts smells!! Actually

its pretty darned funny.

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

15. so that's what the bulge in his flightsuit was

[Lisa]

16. thanks for the (copro)lite humor!

Although when I first saw the title, I thought, "that's not a nice way to refer to David Frum".