Oh my God. I've seen everything now!! Terra Terra Terra

[Windy]

The "Quantum Sleeper" ultimate protection against bio-hazard attacks, etc... You have to see this!!!

http://www.qsleeper.com/

[Cleita]

1. A new variation on "duck and cover"

or the bomb shelter. Pretty funny.

[DaveofCali]

2. ROFLMAO

[goforit]

20. I'm right there with....roflmao!!!

[VolcanoJen]

3. Damn!!! That's almost as sweet as the Anti-Terror-Port-A-Let...

... featured in "Fahrenheit 9/11."

Can't wait to enjoy my finest Bordeaux in the comfort of my 2,000 thread count Egyptian sheets!!!

[napi21]

4. Where is Roosevelt when we need him?

Remember the only thing we have to fear is fear itself? Now we have to add "and the neo-cons" to that statement!

I'm not afraid...are you?

[silverweb]

5. Paranoia strikes deep...

It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away

*sigh*

I just can't get this song out of my head these days.

[Greyskye]

6. Notice what's missing?

So what do you do when nature calls? Piss in a cup? :evilgrin:

[mark414]

7. no

just buy extra absorbent sheets

[TrustingDog]

12. hehe. and what About The Children?

is there a bunkbed version to this?

[Junkdrawer]

8. Kind of like a Do It Yourself burial system...

less fuss for the cleanup crews.

[Junkdrawer]

9. BTW: Earlier thread here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=2197106&mesg_id=2197132

[havocmom]

10. So, are these gonna be the next big investment craze?

from the site:
"Quantum Sleepers can also be fitted to provide protection from destructive forces of nature such as tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods."

Um, this is a gag, isn't it? I have trouble these days, what with reality being so much worse than my most paranoid delusion...

Can you get it with an optional duct tape dispenser?

Having seen tornado damage, I would think a twister would just pick this puppy up and toss it to the next county. Ditto a flood. OK, maybe it would float for a while, but also looks like it would take on water pretty fast.

Earthquakes?!?! Used to live in Southern California and have seen the ground open up and swallow large portions of freeways. Have trouble accepting that bed-in-a-box would save your ass if the ground opened up under it.

Looks like a pine box, sans brass handles, for two. Very romantic in a Romeo & Juliet sorta melodramatic way...

Thanks just the same, but I feel better in my hammock under the stars.
Got me a good dog and he has his own sweet way of saying INCOMING! when the effluent hits the ventilation device.

[in_cog_ni_to]

11. How do you breathe? How do you go potty? How do you have

sex? What if your hubby farts? What if you're claustrophobic? Where do you put the kids? What about the cute little doggie? ;)

[Reverend_Smitty]

13. Yeah nothing like sleeping in a coffin

to not make you scared shitless!

[drscm]

14. I have this image of the terra'ists carrying it out of the house

with the poor schmucks inside of it.

[liberalmuse]

16. LOL!

Or drilling a hole in it and:

1. carrying it out to the garage and turning on the car.
2. filling it up with the garden hose.
3. inserting a hungry python.

This is a joke, right? The soccer mom/NASCAR dad deathtrap.

[Ducks In A Row]

15. I'm sure Jon Stewart will do a rip on it.

[havocmom]

17. I was wondering if Jon Stewart put the site up

Anyway, I emailed the contact address with a few questions:

"I have many questions, which I will try to get through without too much giggling:
Bulletproof? Looks like plywood. Have you ever fired a gun at plywood? I have. Results in toothpicks & kindling.

Safe in tornadoes, floods and earthquakes?
I have been in all three and I doubt that claim.
I have seen tornadoes move large buildings and set them down none too gently. How is your bed in a box safer?
I have seen large homes, and the ground under them, swallowed up by floods. Does your bed swim? For how long?
I have seen earthquakes where the ground opened up and swallowed large sections of freeways. Does the bed hover?

Is there a duct tape dispenser?
Homeland Security assures me Duct tape is the ticket to safety. How is your pine box better?

Are there optional snappy brass handles for my friends to use when they carry the thing, with me dead inside from asphyxiation?

Does it vibrate like those 'Magic Fingers' beds?

I have a large dog. Do you have a model to accommodate two adults and a 90 pound hound?

What colors and furniture styles does it come in? Some of us prefer a 'softer' look in the bedroom."

I will post if there is any response to my inquiry.

[mike1963]

18. They're in Virginia Beach...wonder if Pat ROBert$on has one...

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=757-635-0951&btnG=Google+Search

[OneTwentyoNine]

19. Dupe post,by about 7 hours......

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=2197106&mesg_id=2197106