I just bumped into my neighbor kid who has returned from Iraq

[karlrschneider]

down at the baitshop store near my house. He joined the Army 3 years ago at age 18 (I think he was actually 17..is that possible)...anyway he
managed a tour in Afghanistan and then one in Iraq. I haven't had a chance to talk with him but he's coming over in a day or two for a beer.
I'm trying to think of things to query him about. (And I have no idea what if any politics run thru his head)...but his mom and I are friends and she knows I was vehemently against the Iraq invasion and she has yet to really disagree...but this youngster who's a very decent kid as far as I've ever known has of course gone through the standard Army indoctrination and seems, from what little I've grasped, fairly gung-ho.

I of course will ask him something like "What exactly is our military attempting or expecting to accomplish in Iraq?"...but I guess I'd like to have any suggestions to add to that, bearing in mind this kid grew up in the buckle of the 'bible belt' and probably has less knowledge of global geopolitics than my cat does...

[NNN0LHI]

1. Ask him one question. The answer will tell you everything you need to know

Just ask him who the "enemy" is.

Don

[Catch22Dem]

2. Here's how I'd kick it off...

"I know you've probably been asked a million times, but what are things really like over there?"

"How's everyone doing?"

"Are people keeping up with everything going on here at home? What do they think?"

It's totally baiting him, but you don't reveal anything either.

[Eloriel]

3. I would just start with something like

"Boy, I was worried about you. How was it?"

And let him talk.

A little later I might ask him what kind of news they got, if any. What his buddies thought about their experience there and the war.

I might say, "I heard you guys had not enough equipment and sometimes not enough food and even water. I sure hope you didn't have any of those problems."

I'd personally keep it REAL low key and very apolitical UNLESS he tilts political somewhere along the line. IOW: I personally wouldn't burden the kid with my politics. He's been through hell -- I wouldn't want to add to it in any way UNLESS he gave me a clear go signal, and I wouldn't fish for one too strenuously either.

YMMV.

[TexasSissy]

4. I vote for this approach. It also shows you genuinely want to know

about HIS experiences and HIM, rather than info for your own gain (though there's nothing wrong with that).

If he's gung ho, I wouldn't argue with him. No need to upset him, and you won't change his mind. He's very young.

[leftofthedial]

5. how are you?

thank you for your service

who is the enemy over there

why are they fighting us

are we accomplishing anything by staying there

[susanna]

6. It's possible to join at 17...

...my brother did. You just need parental permission, IIRC. At least that was the deal back in the 80s. I don't know about now.

[5thGenDemocrat]

10. I went in the Army on January 7, 1974

Age 17 years, three months and three days old. Yes, parental permission and a GED (for my prospective job code) was required. The parents were all too happy to sign -- but that's another story.
John
Whatever you do, don't press him too much. He'll talk about the experience when he's ready. Just be supportive and keep plenty of beers in the 'fridge -- somehow I doubt one'll be enough.

[IdaBriggs]

7. Be SUPPORTIVE!!!

The guy made a VOW to obey the will of the Commander-in-Chief regardless of whether he thought the person giving the commands was making good decisions or not (which is a darn good thing, as any student of Roman history will tell you). Beating him up with obvious truths isn't necessary; our job is to get Moron Man OUT of office so someone who really cares about our troops is in charge. I'm betting you are NOT going to get answers that he would perceive as disloyal And You Shouldn't Fish For Them. If he offers, great. Your job (as a person who ISN'T getting shot at and won't have to live with demoralization while getting shot at and being helpless to make political changes), is to tell him you will do your best to make sure he has the best possible leadership, you appreciate his service, and no matter what political differences you have, you WANT HIM TO KNOW YOU ARE THERE FOR HIM because YOU are a patriot.

Of course, if he ASKS about Kerry, you may just "happen" to have some information on what Kerry wants to do for the armed services available, and perhaps he would like to offer his opinion on the "automatic" life insurance or two new divisions or .... Perhaps he has other suggestions he would like to offer, also, about what guys in the service REALLY want?

In my not-so-humble opinion, of course. :)

[Columbia]

8. Don't ask him a damn thing

Just listen and if he wants to talk, let him.

Otherwise, do not ask any of the silly questions that others have listed above.

This is coming from someone who has also returned from Iraq. He will be VERY annoyed if you ask those questions and you very likely will not get a truthful answer.

[Qanisqineq]

12. best advice yet

when he is ready to talk, he will. it took my husband a little while and he tells me everything.

[greatauntoftriplets]

16. We have a winner!

My guy has never told me about Vietnam. He has never told anyone and says he never will. He knows that I will listen if he ever can talk about it, but I don't think that will ever happen.

[alfredo]

9. Take him out for a beer. Talk, listen, and

be supportive. Most of all, listen. Don't push anything, let him dictate the agenda.
Politics take a back seat to being there for one of or finest.

He needs to ease his way back into society. He's home, and safe. He needs to know that.

[NYGunam]

11. There are times to promote our agenda....

There are times to promote our agenda but this is not one of them. It is actually low class and tasteless to bait him like that. You know darn well he’ll say something that will give you the “Go” signal. Give him a break. He has other things on his mind.

I knew a guy that had come back from the war. He was a good guy. Unfortunately he went AWOL. He also had gone crazy because he had to shoot a little girl that was tossing grenades. In one of his crazy episodes he decided to get out of the car on the NYS Thruway. He got hit by a car and got killed. It is tragic on so many different levels.

[alfredo]

13. that's what I was getting at. Let them go where they want to go.

Bringing up the war, or politics could set something off. You don't know what they are trying to bury.

[RobinA]

14. I Followed It

when it blew up and was never satisfied at all with the non-denial denials. The flap centered more on who said what, who approved somebody else saying something on the air, etc. The whole thing was (to me) conspicuous for its lack of emphasis on the actual question - did we use the gas. It just devolved into a media fracus of fingerpointing about how the story was told instead of whether the story was true.

[Kanary]

15. ?????

Are you on the right thread? Your reply doesn't seem to connect to the poster's question..

Kanary