Need critique on LTTE

[T Roosevelt]

Limit is 250 words, so I have a few to play with.

President Opposite
America is safer. Iraq is getting better. The economy is improving. These are all claims made by Mr Bush, and unfortunately for Americans, they are all the complete opposite of reality. A State Department Report shows that more terrorist attacks occurred, and more people died in terrorist attacks last year than in any other year. The National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq says that the best case - best case - scenario for the country over the next eighteen months is drift - now over 1000 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq, and reports confirm that there are no WMD in Iraq. Economic reports show that the average American's income is stagnant and lower than inflation, job losses are the worst since Herbert Hoover, college tuition and health care costs are greatly increasing, and federal and state budget deficits are spiraling out of control. Energy costs will only continue to increase, and the Bush administration does nothing.
While those in the top 1% are seeing their incomes skyrocket, and their income taxes get cut, the majority of Americans are struggling just to make ends meet. More people are in poverty, more people are without health care, and prescription drugs are now luxuries for the elderly.
These are troubled times. Yet you wouldn't know it by President Opposite.

[mimitabby]

1. good start

I changed it a little. see my question.

President Opposite
America is safer. Iraq is getting better. The economy is improving. These are all claims made by Mr Bush, and unfortunately for Americans, they are all the complete opposite of reality.

A State Department Report shows that there were more terrorist attacks and more people died in them last year than in any other year. The National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq says that the best case - best case - scenario for the country over the next eighteen months is drift(explain?) - but now over 1000 American soldiers have been killed there.

Economic reports show that the average American's income is stagnant and lower than inflation, job losses are the worst since Herbert Hoover, college tuition and health care costs have greatly increased, and federal and state budget deficits have spiraled out of control.

While those in the top 1% see their incomes skyrocket, and their income taxes cut, the majority of Americans struggle just to make ends meet. More people are in poverty, more people are without health care, and prescription drugs are now luxuries for the elderly.

These are troubled times. Yet you wouldn't know it by President Opposite . Too bad his words don't match his actions (or something like this)

[T Roosevelt]

2. Originally had the 1000 soldiers comment in ()

How's this:

"best case - best case - scenario for the country over the next eighteen months is like the last eighteen months - more death and misery."

And

"Too bad his words don't match reality."

[HFishbine]

3. Ooooh, editing.!

My suggestions:

President Opposite
America is safer. Iraq is getting better. The economy is improving. These are all claims made by Mr Bush, and unfortunately for Americans, they are all the complete opposite of reality.

A State Department Report shows that more terrorist attacks occurred, and more people died in terrorist attacks last year than in any other year. The National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq says that the best case - best case - scenario for the country over the next eighteen months is <tenous stability>. Over 1000 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq, and reports confirm that there are no WMD.

<Wages aren't keeping pace with inflation>, job losses are the worst since Herbert Hoover, college tuition and health care costs are greatly increasing, and federal and state budget deficits are spiraling out of control. Energy costs will only continue to increase, and the Bush administration does nothing.

While those in the top 1% are seeing their incomes skyrocket, and their income taxes get cut, the majority of Americans are struggling just to make ends meet. More people are in poverty, more people are without health care, and prescription drugs are now luxuries for the elderly.

These are troubled times. Yet you wouldn't know it by President Opposite. <President Do Little? President Oblivious? President Callous?>

[gratuitous]

4. One minor change

"While those in the top 1% are seeing their incomes skyrocket, and their income taxes get cut,"

change to:

"While those in the top 1% are seeing their incomes skyrocket and their taxes cut,"

Scans a little better and has a better cadence without the second income, and changes the cut in taxes to an active rather than a passive verb.