Limericks - express yourself on politics in limerick

[Neil Lisst]

I'll get us started with this limerick I wrote last night.

There once was a winger named Scooter
whose crimes his power did neuter
He went off the jail
and found it a hell
because his ass became some prisoner's cooter

[Mnemosyne]

1. Alright, I'll try.

There once was a great pig named Rover,
Treason an act that he strove for.
He whispered one name,
It was Valerie Plame.
And now he has more than he bargained for.

I love your sigline Neil, Truth!:hug:

[Neil Lisst]

2. Nice job, Vickiss!

Limericks lend themselves to ribald or witty comments, so I'm hoping some of our fellow and sister DUers will jump in.

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[Mnemosyne]

8. Great thread Neil!

Got the creative juices flowing thinking that up.
Thanks!
See others have jumped in, have to get reading!

[Neil Lisst]

13. I'm in favor of slamming the right, but let's be creative!!

I have always said that I write first for my own amusement. If I like it, that's enough. If others like it, even better!


http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[Mnemosyne]

39. I hear ya' on that one Neil!

If we base our lives on whether others give us approval we usually find some major disappointment. Do what you love and the rest will follow!

I like your Dad. I see you are doing what you love. Moving toons there. Thanks for sharing.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

48. Fucking hilarious, vickiss.

Nice job... :D :D

[AngryAmish]

3. There once was a man from Venus

Who had a very large ....


oh, politics...nevermind

[Neil Lisst]

16. AngryAmish - I've used your idea here

There once was a creature from Venus
who came here because he had seen us
he wanted to know
just what made us go
and why our president is such a penis.


how's that?

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[AngryAmish]

17. 5 stars

[4MoreYearsOfHell]

4. There once was a girl from Nantucket

oops...sorry, wrong forum...

[Neil Lisst]

19. 4MoreYearsOfHell

There once was a man from Texas
whose dad is among presidential exes
old dad was a dork
a worse one than Bork
but Junior is cursed with worse hexes


http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[blitzen]

5. There once was a prez'dent named Bush

The job he found really quite cush
Each day he told Rover
To bend it on over
So he could stick him in the tush

[Neil Lisst]

14. blitzen, now you know why Bush calls him "Turd Blossum"

possibly, maybe, perhaps




http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[blitzen]

15. hah...hah!!! n/t

[4MoreYearsOfHell]

6. There once was a VP named Dick

Who worked for that president prick
When Karl was jailed
He knew he'd get nailed
So he fled, most ricky-tick

[Neil Lisst]

24. DICK is his nickname, but Richard isn't his first name

Cheney, that is!

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[Rowdyboy]

7. "There was a young man from Nantucket..."

"Bush sucks!"

Okay, I tried for 30 minutes and got nowhere. Good limericks are really hard to do.

[Neil Lisst]

26. Think of the limerick as hip hop for the literati

There once was a man from Nantucket
whose policies and voting did suck it
you know he's a Bushie
all angry and pushy
but at night he's a tranny who will tuck it


http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst

[Rowdyboy]

28. You're so fucking bad....

Damn...I need to go to bed. You people are bad influences...

(God please remove the mental image of George Bush "tucking" it)

[Mnemosyne]

40. .

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
I have friends... nevermind!

[tinfoilinfor2005]

9. Here goes...

There once was a man called Delay
Who loved to go out and play
But it wasn't so funny
When he played with our money
So the piper he must now pay.

[Neil Lisst]

27. Good call, tinfoil!

n/t

[spuddonna]

10. Ok, someone started a thread on Haiku's, now we have limericks...

I'm threatening to start a thread on Epic Poems, in the original Olde-English, like Beowulf... ;)

[Neil Lisst]

29. spuddonna, Do it! It'll creep the freepers. They will think ...

They will probably think Beowulf is a coastal canine preserve in ANWR.


http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst

[spuddonna]

52. LOL! If my kids hadn't dragged me away, I would have last night! :) n/t

[MGKrebs]

11. Nice thread, and cheers to those who offered!

I will try:

When in the course of human events,
One finds oneself led by men with no sense,
Who steal and then lie,
Allegience they buy,
Must soon be confined behind a high fence!

[Neil Lisst]

30. MGKrebs! You did it!

When in the course of human events ...
--- dead radical

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst

[Rowdyboy]

12. Okay, not original but these are decent....

Our country is in a decline
The White House has lost all its shine
Its image is hurt
By east Texas dirt
And muck from the resident swine

Dubya thinks we're a bunch of dumb sheep
Whose votes can be bought off real cheap
Its time that he learned
The main flock has turned
Its time to shear our Miss Bo Peep

To some, Dub's a marvelous chap
They blindly fall into his trap
Though the signs shout "BEWARE"
They simply don't care
Their brains are all down for a nap

[Neil Lisst]

32. Rowdyboy those were good! I'll go for number three.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
--- freeper at his smartest

[Mnemosyne]

41. Great. but I gotta' pick #3 as a favorite Rowdy! n/t

:rofl: :rofl:

[LuCifer]

18. There once was a rescumliKKKon who went to Norway...

There once was a rescumliKKKon who went to Norway
He got his balls caught in the doorway
He screamed for his wife
She came with a knife
Now they hang in the hallway!

[Neil Lisst]

33. OW! that makes my balls go back inside

just sayin

[Mnemosyne]

42. I'm sending this to a friend! Great thinking LuCifer! n/t

:rofl: :rofl:

[LuCifer]

46. Fangs!

Fang you! Happy HELLoween!
Yeah, it used to just be "a guy from Norway" but aw wot da Hell! IT WORKS!

Lu

[dalaigh lllama]

20. Using my wits

There once was a lawyer named Fitz
Who issued indictments and writs
To Rove and some others.
And Fitz nailed those mothers!
Those treasonous, sly little shits!

[progressivebydesign]

23. Ooh! LOVE that limerick!! this is addictive, isn't it? n/t

[Neil Lisst]

34. You gotta read this one ^^^^^^

Nice job! perfect meter, too

[Mnemosyne]

43. How prophetic!! n/t

:applause: :woohoo:

[Rockholm]

65. Touchdown !!!!!

[dalaigh lllama]

76. Thanks, everyone!

Doggerel is my raison d'etre. :P

[progressivebydesign]

21. There once was a king with a brain!

There once was a king with a brain,
It covered the fact he's insane!
The brain never failed,
until it was jailed,
so, the king took up drinking again.

[Neil Lisst]

35. nice Rove reference with the Brain

Has anyone else ever imagined Bush as Pinky, and Karl Rove as The Brain?

What are we gonna do today, Brain?!!

Try and take over the world!!





http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst

[hopeisaplace]

22. my name is george w bush

when I speak its outta my tush
you'll need toilet paper
and sometimes a scraper
to remove the smell and the mush

[Neil Lisst]

36. hopeisaplace, you made me snicker out loud!

my inner child doesn't mind a dookie joke now and then



speaking of inner child, this comic is mine
http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst

[progressivebydesign]

25. Writing these is cathartic and addictive... let's see what else I have..

There once was a troll named Newt
a cheezy old fart in a suit
His ambitions are back
like a hemmoroid attack
just as ugly, and painful to boot!


There once was a liar named Rove
for the ultimate deception he strove,
His final nom de plame
when he called out her name,
yielded Karl an indictment-filled trove.


There once was a man from Nantuckett
his war medal over a wall he did chuck it.
Twice the man as George Bush
but with Diebold's big push
Our democracy now we can fuck it.

[Neil Lisst]

37. progressivebydesign, nice job with the troika!

I liked the nom de Plame, especially


http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst

[bluedawg12]

31. A piggy named Karl was a traitor

A piggy named Karl was a traitor
He said, she’s a spy!- call me later.
His trotters did scurry to Fitzgerald’s in a hurry
And his fat ass was roasted by the grand jury

[marions ghost]

38. Lots of limerick fodder everywhere...

There was a dork named Boortz
From the cloudy Oortz
Save the rich and fuck the poor
The rich and their spoor are worth
So much more he pontiusly purports

[Mnemosyne]

44. Just did another, see what you think. Kind of dark.

There was an old broad name of Meirs,
She protected with laws the big liars.
Now she wants on the court,
To be sure no one aborts,
And then we'll see the deaths of our daughters.

[marions ghost]

50. dark but

a really good one... (Miers /liars--yeah)

[Mnemosyne]

73. Thanks mg! n/t

[Neil Lisst]

54. that woman better not!!

I frankly don't think she believes in anything except "what's good for Harriet?"

[Mnemosyne]

72. Nope, what's good for *. n/t

[MsConduct]

45. LOL This is a great idea!

there once was a brain fart named dubya
who wanted people to think he's a bubba
he's really a snake
an idiot fake
who's homilies the wrong way will rub ya

there once was a f-er named rove
who herded the sheep dubya drove
he tripped on his tongue
the bell can't be unrung
now he's called "ramblin' rove"

there once was an asshole named limbot
who thought his jokes rated a rim shot
he took all those drugs
now he see bugs
and quite frankly suffers from brain rot

[marions ghost]

51. yours are so funny ! zany...

this limerick thing is a good exercise in keeping sane, similar to the contributions of the fun with pix crowd...

[MsConduct]

68. Thanks, it was fun writing them.

Maybe we should put them all in a book and donate the proceeds to something worthwhile?

[marions ghost]

75. good idea !

wouldn't be too difficult. Volunteers? OP, are you out there?

[Neil Lisst]

60. his homilies do rub me the wrong way

"heh-heh-heh"
-- Bush self-satisfied snicker

[MsConduct]

69. LOL Neil, everything about that goof rubs me the wrong way! n/t

[bluedawg12]

47. The devil looked down on "Fall-well"

The devil looked down on "Fall-well"
he is doing my work so “damned well”
hate and bigotry such a terrible symmetry
I’ll be waiting for him in con-hell.

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

49. The Chimp, by ithinkmyliverhurts

There once was a bitch-ass chimp,
with slimy Karl Rove as his pimp,
Fitz pinned them to the wall,
kicked them in the balls--
now watch them frog-march with a limp.

[tiptoe]

53. Judy, Judy, Judy

A Pulitzer Prizer named Judy,
Feigned going to jail was her duty.
On Scooter's advice,
She "came back to life" --
Now, Fitz is on her petuty.

[Neil Lisst]

56. tiptoe - nice job!!!

One has to wonder if Scooter is trying to hang Rove out to dry.

That would be too sweet!

Someone is getting indicted out of this, and if it's not both of them, it has to be either Libby or Rove.


http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[tiptoe]

61. Conason reminded Franken, yesterday, that the FBI interviewed Rove...

during the 3-month investigation period before Patrick Fitzgerald became Special Counsel. Conason speculated on what Rove may have told the FBI, then, and if he may have perjured himself, since the lead investigator at the time was Attorney General John Ashcroft, who -- because a former client of Rove -- might have given Rove a sense of security in whatever he said to the FBI.

Once Ashcroft recused himself, however, Rove's early testimony to the FBI would be (re-)scrutinized by a GJ under Patrick Fitzgerald's evidentiary oversight. If Scotty McClellan is to be believed, Rove's initial position was he had nothing to do with the Plame leak; presumably, that is what Rove also told the FBI.

"And if he lied, then he need not have been under oath to have committed a crime."


Rove's Nightmare

[Neil Lisst]

67. Good point. Rove and Asscroft were thick as thieves.

But what would Asscroft write down?

I'm guessing it went a little something like this ...


"LET THE EAGLE SOARRRRRRRRRRR.
LIKE IT'S NEVER SOARED BEFOREEEEEEEEEE ...."

For those who don't know, Asscroft wrote a song which he sang.

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[tiptoe]

58. another (with apologies to Dylan)

Neocons, for "news", have a strange yen:
Arguments to kill need arrangin'
So with a media whore,
They LIED us to war.
Now "the Tiiimes, they'll be a-channngin'..."

[Neil Lisst]

71. for the TIMES they are a changin'!

Nice job, tiptoe!!

[tiptoe]

78. alrighty, then...redo it:

NEOs, for "news", have a strange yen:
Reasons to Kill need arrangin'
With a media whore,
They lied us to war.
And "the TIMES, they are a-channng-in'"


Recruitment letter?

A 'Dear Judy' Letter from 'Scooter'--With 'Admiration'
“Dear Judy, Your reporting, and you are missed. Like many Americans, I admire your principled stand. But, like many friends and readers, I would welcome you back among the rest of us, doing what you do best—reporting.”
...
“You went into jail in the summer. It is fall now. You will have stories to cover—Iraqi elections and suicide bombers, biological threats and the Iranian nuclear program. Out West, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them. Come back to work—-and life. Until then, you will remain in my thoughts and prayers.”

“With admiration, Scooter Libby.”


'Flame' Plame Blame Game
Judy Miller and the price of fame – her 'mea culpa' was mighty lame
by Justin Raimondo, October 17, 2005

"Aspens"..."turn in clusters"..."roots connect them"


Admin-Stalwart-Neoconsters...re-assignments<Wolfowitz,Rice,Bolton,Feith, etc>...philosophical-underpinnings...Norquist, Ledeen, Weyrich

..."I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it to the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub." Grover Norquist, on NPR 2001

Grover Norquist is the mastermind of the radical fiscal policies, behind which there is definitely a hidden agenda. He is a Washington power broker who oversees coordination of administration players through a weekly breakfast, attended by all branches of government.

“Creative destruction is our middle name, both within our society and abroad. We tear down the old order every day, from business to science, literature, art, architecture, and cinema, to politics and the law. Our enemies have always hated this whirlwind of energy and creativity which menaces their traditions (whatever they may be) and shames them for their inability to keep pace. … <W>e must destroy them to advance our historic mission.”
Michael Ledeen

Michael Ledeen is a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, a major think tank, and influential with Cheney, Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz.

“We are different from previous generations of conservatives. We are no longer working to preserve the status quo. We are radicals, working to overturn the present power structure of this country.” Paul Weyrich

Paul Weyrich is founder of the Heritage Foundation, which has itself been at times called a shadow government, due to its influence with leaders.

This might not sound so alarming, unless you realize that they carry no great allegiance to the structures of democracy, nor to the Constitution. Or unless you realize that they carry great influence and can see the traces of that influence in the actual deeds of the administration...

...Now it is true that I believe this country is following a dangerous trend when it permits too great a degree of centralization of governmental functions. I oppose this--in some instances the fight is a rather desperate one. But to attain any success it is quite clear that the Federal government cannot avoid or escape responsibilities which the mass of the people firmly believe should be undertaken by it. The political processes of our country are such that if a rule of reason is not applied in this effort, we will lose everything--even to a possible and drastic change in the Constitution. This is what I mean by my constant insistence upon "moderation" in government. Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H. L. Hunt (you possibly know his background), a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas.5 Their number is negligible and they are stupid...
Dwight David Eisenhower, 1954, Presidential Papers

OSP - Office of Special Plans

Nietzsche...protean

THE WILL TO POWER
67 (1884)

The former means for obtaining homogeneous, enduring characters for long generations: unalienable landed property, honoring the old (origin of the belief in gods and heroes as ancestors).

Now the breaking up of landed property belongs to the opposite tendency: newspapers (in place of daily prayers), railway, telegraph. Centralization of a tremendous number of different interests in a single soul, which for that reason must be very strong and protean.

[Ikonoklast]

55. A man called "Turd Blossom" from Texas

Got sent to D.C. to vex us.
He got caught in a lie
That Fitgerald did spy,
And now Karls life's a train wreakus.

[Neil Lisst]

57. Funny stuff on this thread! Thanks to all!

I'm as serious as a heart attack on my politics, but I like having some fun with it, too.

This is a fun thread, and I've really enjoyed all the limericks, even those I haven't commented on.


http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/

[stepnw1f]

59. Voting as a Dittohead

Voting as a "Dittohead",
born, fed and maybe inbred,
plagued with a brain as dense as lead,
pride based bigotry,
they follow puppet leaders instead.

[Obamarama]

62. There Once Was A Queer Guy Named Gannon....

There once was a queer guy named Gannon
Whose bald head seemed to turn Mr. Prez On
He got his own press pass
And got some West Wing ass
But sense he did not fuck into the moron

63. a love poem

Rovers are red
Bushes are blue
Their love affair is over
And I say boo hoo

:pals: :dilemma: :blush: :cry:

[yella_dawg]

64. There once was a President. Unelected.

By subpoenas and indictments was he dejected.
Some snow for his snout.
In Jim Beam he did souse.
No doubt he would fail if piss-tested.


On edit: Typo

[bluedawg12]

66. A fat little pig named KKKarl

A fat little pig named KKKarl
gave to boy wonder his all
but when a spy he reveled
and Judith Miller concealed
Fitzgerald took them down for a fall.

[MsConduct]

70. Wow! Aren't we all clever? I love them all. n/t

[alittlelark]

74. a quickie

The pResident was such a fucking liar
That during a press conference his pants caught on fire
The firefighters were quickly called
But, due to budget cuts they were stalled
Without the ass there was nothing left, he was forced to retire

[Neil Lisst]

77. I'm impressed!! Great stuff, folks.

I enjoyed the Haiku thread someone started last night, too.

If Rove is indicted, duck and cover, because my creative juices will explode like one of Gallagher's watermelon.

[Hubert Flottz]

79. A Bush crony they call Michael Brown;

A Bush crony they call Michael Brown;
Was just lately the talk about town;
He was inept as sh*t;
The incompetent twit;
It's a wonder we All didn't drown.

You'll go to jail if you go broke;
They'll arrest you if you take a toke;
But a spade is a spade;
Kool-Aid ain't lemonade;
And your liberty now is a joke.

Lord I wish I could soar like the eagle;
And could smell out the truth like the beagle;
But the facts seem as rare;
As a leopard frog's hair;
Can't republicans ever do something legal?

[marions ghost]

80. all good

But I really like that third one--they pride themselves on flying just under the radar...

[Hubert Flottz]

81. If he's talkin' G W 's lyin';

If he's talkin' G W's lyin';
And his bullsh*t the people aren't buyin'.
Warns us all of Bird Flu;
Holds his breath till he's blue;
If he don't get his way he starts cryin';

We're ripped off every week at the pumps;
W's worse than the clapp or the mumps;
He has outsourced our jobs;
Even Grandmas he's robbed;
Because half of the voters were chumps.

Did you ever imagine a louse;
Would inhabit our fu?king White House;
You should spray round some Deet;
From the head to the feet';
Save a gallon to delouse your spouse.

There was once a young pundit named Ann;
Had a neck that looked just like a man's;
She cavorted and swore;
Like a sick corporate wh?re;
And her books didn't sell worth a damn.

[Neil Lisst]

86. good ones, Hubert! nice.

and NO they can't!

[elehhhhna]

82. Mine:

The Prezzydent choked on a pretzel
So Harriet shouted "Go Get Zell!"
She said on the square
"He's FULL of hot air!
He'll revive this big moran
And that's SWELL!"

[Tim4319]

83. There once was a president named Bushy.

There once was a president named Bushy,
all of the jobs he had were cushy.
He snorted some caine,
his brain cells are lame,
I want to see him out on his tushy!

[Hubert Flottz]

84. That bastard called Rushky Limbaugh...

That bastard called Rushky Limbaugh;
Has man-t*ts that's too large for his bra;
With his painful gimp back;
And his festered asscrack;
He hopes Fort Leavenworth has a spa.

I'll bet you can't find any pricks;
Who's as hateful and crooked as Dick;
The contract it's sure certain;
Goes to old Halliburton;
Just as sure as his pacemaker ticks.

The last person I saw looked like Barrrrrrrrrrrr;
Always ended his sentence with Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrr;
She's so homely and vain;
All her sons have no brains;
Wish she'd stayed out the back seats of carrrrrrrrrrs!

[Neil Lisst]

85. Still going! awesome!

I'm going to write another one or two later, but I just this minute got back on the site after being busy doing real work all day.

Now comes Miller time.

Where is that traitorous she-devil?



peep my new comic, yall
http://www.webcomicsnation.com/neillisst/