Let's have a contest! Post your favorite ghost stories here.
I'll start.Once upon a time there was an evil president who stole the election (not once, boys and girls, but TWICE!!). This president was the most evil man who ever lived. He was also the dumbest and the least articulate. His name was Dubya of Connecticut (until he changed it to Dubya of Texas).
Dubya was the son of an ugly monster named Babs and a dumb warlock named GHWB. He was married to an evil witch named Pickles. Dubya and Pickles were the parents of two satanic twins who loved to party.
Dubya was so evil he decided to take over the world, starting with the USA. So he hired an ugly prostitute named Condi to seduce the chief justice of the supreme court. She secretly filmed her encounter with the chief justice and Dubya blackmailed him and forced the justice to award the presidency to Dubya. Condi was awarded by being crowned wicked witch of the nation.
Once he was inaugurated, Dubya set out to take over the world. He started on September 11, 2001 with an LIHOP attack on New York City. Then Dubya moved overseas and invaded Iraq. Tens of thousands of Iraqis were slaughtered or imprisoned. Two thousand US soldiers were also killed.
Meanwhile, back at home, the good and pure Democrats, under the leadership of the benevolent knights Sir Howard of Vermont and Sir John of Conyers, decided to fight back. They found a good witch named Cindy to cast a spell on Dubya.
Cindy's spell reversed Dubya's Karma. His top aides betrayed him. The despicable Sir Tom of DeLay, who had been Dubya's pep club president, was destroyed in a joust with Sir Ronnie of Texas. Dubya's loyal servant Turd Blossom was poisoned by Lady Miller of NYT and Lord Novak of CNN.
The final blow came when Dubya was haunted by Fitz, the ghost of a dead soldier. For over a year, Fitz made Dubya's life as miserable as he could. Dubya couldn't sleep, so he began drinking and taking drugs to cope with the stress. He became more and more inarticulate and confused. Finally, at a rare press conference, Dubya became agitated by questions asked by the good Helen of Thomas. He lost his temper and screamed at Helen "FUCK OFF!"
Dubya resigned in shame and the good Democrats took back the country. They gave health care to all Americans, fully funded every school in the country and restored confidence in the US economy.
They also gave candy to all the good children on Halloween.
The End.