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We aren't sure who's waging a war against it but maybe we can find out. I have some suspicions. I think we can help expose these christmas war mongers and put an end to them.
First...WALMART. Yep, these bastards clearly want to poison the temple of Christ's birth with their money changer ways. They have invaded the synagogue and brought in their sheep and cattle for sale. We should defend Christmas against this by throwing them out on their ear. NO MORE WALMART SHOPPING FOR CHRISTMAS. SAVE IT FROM THESES PHARACES <sp?> Perhaps we should extend this to all corporations which SELL things in the name of Christ...?
Next? Tree lots. These pagan worshiping buggars have to go. They're clearly trying to insert evil winters solstice worship into our holy day. Drive them out. Stop buying trees. Burn all that tinsel and pine. It's poison to our day or worship.
Third...Megachurches. These jerks are actually going to close on Christmas? How Dare They!
Fourth...perhaps most importantly....Everyone working. We must close EVERYTHING on the anniversary of Jesus' Birth. That means we shut it all down. No Gas Stations, no foodmarts...no camera men for the Mega Churches or anyone who gets paid anything. Close it down because it isn't in keeping with the divinity and the word.
Fifth...thought a bit about this...I think we need to give up all our vices on this day. No more alcohol for sure. Dump the Baileys and Eggnog...in fact, we should probably fast. Toss the Turkey and Ham...it's not in keeping with anything.
Sixth...the salvation army (of satan). Santa Clause is NOT Christ. He's not supposed to ASK for money. And he uses MAGIC to make Deer fly...clearly this guy has been reading too much Harry Potter. Out with him and all those who promote the use of this demonic, magic using icon. Roust em out from in front of the stores of the pharaces (which we won't be shopping at anyway) and send them packing. Let Santa and his Salvation Army backers go ruin some other holiday like...um...The 4th of July.
Finally...gifts. We shouldn't be shopping at Walmart but lets take it a step further...the Bible is the LITERAL word of god. The Wisemen brought Christ gold, frankincense, and myrrh. These were good enough for the son of god...they should be good enough for your children. Enough with the bikes and Xboxes...tell the kids to read the bible and chew on their Myrrh sticks and shaddup.
IF we do these things we will Defeat the foes of Christmas and return it to what WE KNOW IT SHOULD BE.
I think this is something we can all agree on. Thank you for your help in this effort. Now to go tell the RWinger that they have an ally on the left. I'm gonna help em live ever ounce of their spirit of Christmas.
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