So Angry - Tell me again why gays can't adopt?

[Ioo]

I was sitting here watching COPS, it is something I like to do, look for family...

Here is the story, Girl, w/ kid running around DALLAS TEXAS area looking for MORE drugs. Kid, No Underclothing on, sitting in beatup truck, mom in the car with another gal who is also wanted...

So tell me again why gays can't have kids? How could be be any more damaging than this shit, and it goes on day after day after dat x 10,000 times!

FUCK THOSE RIGHT WING NUTS, My and my partner of 11 YEARS would be great parents, and the child would never have to see this type of shit...

Man I am almost in tears.....

[MrSlayer]

1. Because gay people are pedophiles.

Don't you know that? If they were allowed to adopt they'd rape the child and brainwash him into thinking that being gay is normal. Also, Jesus says so. :sarcasm:

[EFerrari]

2. Educate me. Is that like state law or something?

So weird.

My new neighbors will be a gay couple with two kids. When we bought this place, the realtor told me that a couple had bought the place next door.

I asked him, "Are they . . . . . Republicans?!"

And he was really surprised. Maybe he thought I'd ask if they where white or straight or something?

Realtors must see everything. :)

[Ioo]

5. ALmost all states will "find" gays "unfit" and in some states, NOT AT ALL

Most states make it near impossable for gays to adopt. Christans scream that we will abuse the child

[EFerrari]

13. What a bunch of cr@P!

When was the last time a child had to be taken away from a GAY couple?

History is definitely not on the American Taliban's side.

:nuke:

[Sapphocrat]

23. Oh, sfex...

We forget how spoiled we are in Calif., esp. in the Bay Area.

Google "Florida" and "gay adoption," and you'll have more answers to your question than you want. And if you can handle even more serious outrage, Google the FL state child-welfare "service" (I forget the exact name of the agency; I'm sure another DUer will know it right off). There are more "Butch Kimmerling"-type cases in Florida than anywhere else I can think of.

The question, "Would you rather a child be raised in a stable, loving, same-sex home, or be sent to live with pseudo-'Christian' abusers?" is moot to the anti-gay brigades.

P.S. I know you know this. But you gave me the opportunity to say it for those who don't realize how twisted the system really is.

[EFerrari]

27. Wasn't FL the state that LOST a bunch of foster kids?

Oh, but at least they weren't in GAY homes.

:nuke:

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. I'm so sorry for you

I have lesbian friends who have adopted a special needs mixed race child, and it is obvious that she is one lucky little girl to have such loving parents. They were so proud that their daughter has come out of her shell and is flourishing in their nurturing environment. I fear for them, though, because Arkansas is considering taking children away from gay and lesbian couples. This isn't right. There are too many kids who need a loving home-to deny them that is a crime. I hope that you and your partner will, somehow and some day, be able to adopt.

[IndyOp]

16. Your post makes me think of an amazing PBS special I saw about

gays adopting. One family adopted a special needs mixed race boy who at 8-years of age did not play, did not interact with people. His moms took him to the toy store and took him from shelf to shelf -- he wasn't interested in anything age appropriate, anything for pre-schoolers, anything for toddlers. Finally they got to the infant toys and he found a clear plastic cube with butterflies floating in them. That was the only thing he responded to so that is what they bought him and he spent hours and hours everyday turning it over in his hands and looking, looking, looking. Then he seemed to tire of it and they took him back to the store and he chose the Fisher-Price shape fitting toy - the simple one with 3 shapes. He played with that until he tired of it and they took him back and he chose a toy for slightly older toddlers. Within about 6 months he had fast-forwarded to toys for kids in the primary grades - he was still behind other kids, but a miracle had occurred. He was now interacting not only with him moms but also with other kids. The wisdom of these moms to go with their guts to fulfill his needs where he was at - incredible.

[FreedomAngel82]

56. That's pretty amazing

Sometimes all you need is love, attention and just someone who cares about you and that you exist. I know how that is from when I was really extremly shy myself a long time ago. I'm still shy but not like I used to be.

[IndyOp]

4. Where do you live? Move here! We've got kids and gays adopt!

There are kids who need love everywhere. In my state - yes, even pitifully backward Indiana, gays adopt. I have friends who have made wonderful happy families and their children are *blessed* to be with them.

[Ioo]

11. I live in WAY BACK WOODS West VA

[EFerrari]

15. Come to San Francisco. It's not perfect

but the improvement may lengthen your life if only by keeping your blood pressure down.

[MountainLaurel]

29. How far back in the woods?

Fairmont-area native, here.

:hi:

I concur wholeheartedly, though. One thing about gay parents is that they are incredibly deliberative about becoming parents. They have to make it happen, no back-seat-of-Jimmy's-camaro accidents for them. And since studies have shown that wanted children are more mentally healthy than unwanted kids, they're starting out in a better place.

But those are facts, and facts don't sway ignorant people who think that two men kissing is icky or that "those freaks" are gonna burn in hell.

[Ioo]

33. I live near DC, So not that far...

I live in the Harpers Ferry Area.

[MountainLaurel]

41. I'm in DC proper now

So I know the area well. But there are some places near there that get a little backwoodsy: A friend was a teacher in a school down by the VA border where kids had to come "down off the mountain" to get to the school. (Speaking of abused children parented by people who never should have procreated . . . )

[CatholicEdHead]

6. Catholic Charities in Boston took lots of heat over this

and ending up changing their policy against these under lotst of pressure. They did it because of government funding rules.

[MnFats]

7. because they have sex in ways the fundies find icky.

serious.
the anti-gay crowd says 'eww' to most except missionary sex and doesn't want to think about anyone else having sex in any other way.
Or maybe they're trying to compensate for their long-repressed desire to have sex in those icky ways.
i do think the sex thing has a great deal to do with it.
as in: "I've got a hot line to God; why can't everyone just be like me?"

[Kali]

22. no they don't have sex in ways fundies find icky

they have sex in ways fundies are fucking obsessed with!

[foreigncorrespondent]

34. The truly sad thing is...

...the Federal and State governments don't discriminate against heterosexual couples for having non missionary style sex.

[Harper_is_Bush]

8. Is there no place in the USA where gays can adopt?

Or if that is the case, what about adopting as an individual?

[MountainLaurel]

31. If you're with a partner

It will be discovered during the months of home visits that adoption requires.

But gays can adopt in some states, as was indicated by posts after yours. But if you happen to be stuck in a state that doesn't allow it, you're screwed.

[Maat]

9. What state are you in?

We welcome GLBT parents out here in California.

I was a social worker for seven years and I adopted with my husband (I just happen to be straight); my friend adopted with her partner of many years (actually, she adopted 4).

Answer, what you saw is tragic. I saw it every day for seven years.

We need good parents like yourself badly! Perhaps I can persuade you and your partner to move out here!

On edit:
P.S. I'm also Vice President of my local PFLAG.

[Ioo]

12. WV

[Maat]

19. Dang! Come on out!

One of these days, I am going to start a "Move a progressive out to California" campaign.

I want to turn my state into the darkest blue state in the USA!

One social worker friend of mine, a proud lesbian, adopted six multi-racial children!

My beloved daughter is worth several children - VERY strong-minded and opinionated (wonder where she gets that from)(Spouse has to step in and stop the snapping at each other sometimes - sending us both to neutral corners!).

[IndyOp]

24. "Move a progressive out to California" -- put me on the list!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Really, I am okay - there are others who are in greater need, but put me on the list. The really sad thing is that I lived in CA for 6.5 years when I was in grad school. Then I came back to the midwest -- I suppose I missed using a screwdriver to chip ice off of my car door so I could get in on winter mornings. :crazy:

[Maat]

58. Why? Why? Why ..

did you go back?

Come back, come back!

Hold on - if you wait just a bit - maybe we'll have sent Ahhhnold on his way before you make your triumphant return!

A toast to your timely return .. sometime in the not-so-distant future!


:toast:

[BlueGirlRedState]

10. I'm sure you would be a great parent

I'm an adoptive mom, our daughters are from China. There are lots of great gay parents of children from China. Of course, they have to lie and say they are merely single.

You have every right to be angry and frustrated.

[EFerrari]

17. Welcome to DU, BlueGirl

:hi:

[TallahasseeGrannie]

14. You are unfortunate enough to be caught

on the cusp of a social change. Future generations will look back and shake their heads that gay parents were ever controversial. Your efforts will break the ground for them. Keep trying! Don't give up!

[MissWaverly]

18. try this link

http://needykids.com/maingay.htm I know nothing about it but I tried a google search
after I read your post, good luck.

[IndyOp]

25. You need to remove the comma from your link for it to work (nt)

[MissWaverly]

28. Thanks, just did

[Ioo]

30. Thank you, I will have a look

[MissWaverly]

40. Use the internet

One thing I have learned over the years is that the internet can help you get past the
redtape to what you want. The first computer I bought they looked at me like I was dirt
because I was a woman and then they deliberately sold me a defective computer. That was
the last time I walked into a store and bought one. This Dell is my 4th computer and nothing can compare to the humiliation I went through back then.

[NanceGreggs]

20. Obviously, you don't get the BIG PICTURE ...

If you and your partner were the parents of this child, she would undoubtedly wind up being well cared for, well-informed, well-educated, loved, admired, and encouraged to become a woman of confidence, values and compassion.

Now, just what kind of CRAZY WORLD would this be if people like YOU and YOUR PARTNER were free to do THAT to an innocent child?

(But seriously, I hope you and your partner will be parents one day. As far as I'm concerned, your outrage at the scenario you've just described demonstrates the kind of parenting skills that are all too lacking in today's gone-insane world.)

[IndyOp]

21. Ioo - this sounds like a *huge* issue for you...

Maybe you should consider moving to a GLBT adopt-friendly state. Note: Not all areas of any state will be the same, some areas have progressive social workers and judges.

I am an adopted adult - I was in foster care for the first two years of my life and it has left scars. My adoptive sister was in foster care and she was horribly abused.

Loving, safes homes are desparately needed at all times.

[Ioo]

26. It is an issue but for more than just me... I WAS THAT CHILD

I have a real issue with the hypocracy of the right. They allow these damn crack asses pump out the children, but I AM A BAD PARENT?!?!

I was in foster care, my mother served time, I know what these kids go through. My mother had drug issues all my life.

I think that ALL PEOPLE should have to take a test, and then we will turn their balls over to ya...

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN BREED, DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD...

[IndyOp]

50. "You have to have a license to drive a car, shit, even to catch a fish,

but any ####### idiot can become a father."

Excellent line delivered by Keanu Reeves in the movie "Parenthood". Reeves' characters' father used to wake him up in the morning by flinging lit cigarrettes at his head and telling him to wake up and fix his breakfast.

[complain jane]

32. Good friends of mine (another lesbian couple) would love to adopt.

One is an accountant, was just made partner, for a huge household-name kinda accounting firm. The other's been at her job in marketing for at least 10 years. They are a non-smoking, rarely-drinking couple who have never been in trouble with the law, with a great house with a pool in a suburb with pretty good school system, have a stable relationship of 12 years. They're in their 30's. Both of their families are fine with their relationship, and enthusiastically supportive of their desire to adopt. They're trying to adopt an orphaned child from Russia because one of the women is Russian. And they're getting such a hard time about it, the process has been going on for years. It's incredible. Two women want to adopt an orphan and apparently the idiots in charge would prefer the children remain orphans in poverty than live with a stable, loving lesbian couple dying to have a family.

[foreigncorrespondent]

35. Because...

...they hate us for our freedoms? :shrug:

[Telly Savalas]

39. Close.

It's because gays adopting children emboldens the terrorists.

[EFerrari]

51. Everyone knows, good homes hate our freedom. n/t

[ninkasi]

36. A gay couple I know

just adopted a 7 year old boy from the Ukraine. The little boy is so happy, my friends are happy, and I get to play grandma, since one of the partners lost his own mother years ago, and I've known and loved him since he was 14. A child is happy, thriving, and getting to have the kind of life he would never have had in his own country, in the orphanage where he lived. My friends are ecstatic, proud parents, and the ones of us who love them are happy for their happiness. If there is anything wrong with this picture, I fail to see what it could be.

[GrumpyGreg]

37. duplicate

[GrumpyGreg]

38. Insanity isn't it? I have two lesbian friends that were married

last year after a THIRTY FIVE year relationship.They lasted longer than my good old Catholic marriage lasted.LOL

They would probably be grandparents by now.

They have many nieces,nephews,grandnieces and grandnephews who adore them,though.

[DemGirl7]

42. Because Fundies are sick minded assholes

In their sick little narrow minded minds they think that Gays will sexual abuse the kid, which is BS, and also they fear it will make the kid gay, which is more BS. Fundies are have sick twisted minds, thats all I have to say.:grr:

[renie408]

43. Because this country is run by either idiots or chicken shits.

The idiots think that homosexuality is wrong. And possibly contagious. The chicken shits are too scared of the idiots to stand up for something they secretly know is right.

Those of us who are neither idiots nor chicken shits are outnumbered.

It just sucks.

[JohnnyCougar]

44. What state are you in?....nevermind...I should have read the thread first

I was under the impression that gays can adopt. My aunt is gay and she adopted...of course she wasn't openly gay at the time...she actually got divorced (from her male husband) soon after that and became openly gay.

Which raisis a point. Are the right wingers saying that if you adopt when you are supposedly straight, do you have to give up all your children if you turn gay?

Edit: title changed.

[lady raven]

45. Amen, Ioo

I can't think of a single gay person I know personally who wouldn't make a fine parent. I don't get it- Hetero couples who have NO BUSINESS having biological children, let alone adopting, are allowed to adopt all the time.

ITA that sexual orientation does NOT matter and should not be a factor in an adoption.

For the record, if I were giving up a child for adoption, I would choose a gay couple just as easily as I would choose a hetero one- It all depends on the individual.

[kevinbgoode]

46. because gays dont' raise children to be robots

and they won't force them to parade around with "God hates fags" signs.

[Ioo]

49. OMG Free thinking children, the bane of the Right Wing!

[AgadorSparticus]

47. isn't it contagious? everyone knows crack is much easier to rehab.

:sarcasm: I'm sorry you have to face such horrible discriminations. People are nasty and ignorant.

[shenmue]

48. Just 'cause

Neener, neener, neener.

:P

:silly:

Because somebody's religion says so!

Ha!

:sarcasm:

[ultraist]

52. Gay couples are more likely to adopt mixed race children

and special needs kids. I read that somewhere recently but don't have those numbers in front of me.

[serryjw]

53. It should be so obvious

You want to recruit them into 'your way of life" :sarcasm:

[area51]

54. gays adopting

The people who want gays to not be able to adopt are fscking insane. </rant>

[FreedomAngel82]

55. I'm sorry

I think anyone should be able to adopt a child who is properly able to. Sexual orientation, religion, race etc. shouldn't play a factor. :hug:

[OneBlueSky]

57. what isn't generally known is that when gays do adopt . . .

or take in foster children, they often take kids no one else wants -- AIDS babies, HIV positive kids, disruptive and neglected teens, etc. . . and in every case I know of (and it's quite a few), the kids have been far better off than they would have been in a group home, and all of them turned out to be fine, productive citizens . . .

[proud patriot]

59. I'm sorry I can't tell you a reason why Gays can't adopt

can't think of one :shrug:

[Ioo]

60. Thank you all for the support...