practice flirting / pick-up lines

[shockingelk]

I've never learned to flirt, so figure I'd give it a shot:

"Hey, what's up? Did you know today is the 100th birthday of Robert Oppenheimer, the father of the atomic bomb? Also the 54th anniversary of the first atomic explosion to be shown on live network television. I'm serious - yup, April 22nd. Isn't that insane? Now we're supposed to feel afraid of the terra'sts, I suppose. John Adams got it right when he said, 'Fear is the foundation of most governments.' Can I have your number?"

How'd I do? (is it a bad idea to ask how I did?)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

1. You. Me. Go all shaky. Rumpy-pumpy. Now.

That tends to get the desired effect.

[VelmaD]

2. I always liked...

"Get your coat luv, you've pulled" personally. :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

3. Oh come on, for sheer class, you can't beat.

"Here's a quarter, call your mom, you're not going home tonight"

[VelmaD]

6. Hee...I love tacky pickup lines...

I always fall for "Nice shoes. They're gonna look great on my shoulders."

[Screaming Lord Byron]

9. Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'cause I can see myself in your pants.

For the latent Freudian transvestites out there.

[VelmaD]

14. That is almost as bad as...

"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" :eyes:

I personally find that simple and straight-forward works well..."Bend over"

[shockingelk]

16. let's see how far this subthread can go ...

"Those clothes look great on you! (pause) but they'd look better on the floor."

[VelmaD]

20. "Subthread"...what a nice way of saying...

"threadjacking". :)

"Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?"

[Screaming Lord Byron]

23. I require sexual congress. Your appearence is passable. Let us commence.

[Dead_Parrot]

24. Only if you're at a borg convention... n/t

[Screaming Lord Byron]

26. Hey, it works! It's 100% success rate speaks for itself.

Of course, it's never actually been used, so it's a hypothetical success rate, but hey! no one ever said no to it.

[VelmaD]

25. I"f you're going to regret this in the morning,

we can sleep in until the afternoon"

[Screaming Lord Byron]

27. How do you like your eggs? Fertilized?

[Dead_Parrot]

29. Lol... great minds...

[Screaming Lord Byron]

32. Looks like I'd better bring my oven mitts to bed

cause you are H-O-T HOT.

[VelmaD]

34. that shirt is very becoming on you,

but of course, if i were on you i'd be cumming, too. ;)

[Bertha Venation]

82. that shirt looks wonderful on you....

of course, it would look better on my bedroom floor.

[VelmaD]

31. Are you free tonight

or will it cost me?

[Dead_Parrot]

28. How do you want your eggs in the morning?

Scrambled or fertilised?

[VelmaD]

33. Nice legs,

what time do they open?

[Dead_Parrot]

38. You're a very naughty girl....

Go straight to my room, without any supper!

[VelmaD]

41. "Lets play war,

I'll lay down and you blow the fuck out of me."

[Dead_Parrot]

43. So you want to wear that dress, do you?

Sure I can't talk you out of it?

[VelmaD]

46. I'm new in town.

Could you give me directions to your apartment?

[Dead_Parrot]

48. You must be made of coffee...

...I think you'll keep me up all night.

[VelmaD]

49. I've just received government funding

for a four-hour expedition to find your prostate.

[Dead_Parrot]

52. Screw me if I'm wrong...

...but aren't you Elenor Roosevelt?

[VelmaD]

54. Shall I wait for you in the car...

or will the closet do?

[Dead_Parrot]

56. You feeling OK? You look a little off...

...you you like me to turn you on?

[VelmaD]

57. What is your favorite position

on premarital sex?

[Dead_Parrot]

61. Nice outfit! Is it made of felt?

If it's not felt, you you like it to be?

[VelmaD]

62. Wanna play carnival?

That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your
weight.

[Dead_Parrot]

63. Do those lips taste as good as they look?

[VelmaD]

64. My face is leaving in 15 minutes.

Be on it.

[Dead_Parrot]

66. You must be a broom...

...'cause you've swept me off my feet.

(Digging the bottom of the barrel, here!)

[VelmaD]

67. Do you believe in the hereafter?

Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

[Dead_Parrot]

68. Are you looking for Mr Right? Or Mr Right Away?

...And at that point, I'll have to give up. Or go and hang out in a nightclub and listen carefully...

[VelmaD]

69. Is it hot in here,

or is it just you?

And since I got the last word I WIN. GO ME!!! I am 2-0 today. Woohoo!

[Dead_Parrot]

70. Where have I been all your life?

Hey, I'm not taking that lying down! (Does that count as another?!) :P

[VelmaD]

71. Dammit you're gonna make me work for it.

;)

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

[Dead_Parrot]

73. ok, NOW I give up...

...You need to stay in more. :loveya: IOU a beer...

[VelmaD]

74. Excellent...

if you're ever down in Texas look me up. :)

[Dead_Parrot]

76. Will do...

You'll be the one in the corner getting slapped by everyone, I take it? :P

Edit - Is there anything about your initials I should worry about?!

[VelmaD]

77. Nope...I'll be the one

giggling like a maniac at lines other girls would slap a guy over. :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

17. Wasn't that in the Hungarian dictionary on Monty Python?

My Hovercraft is full of Eels! Bouncy Bouncy!

[Canuckistanian]

78. Drop your panties, Sir William

I cannot wait until lunchtime.

[RobertSeattle]

4. Two days ago you could have done...

"Hey, did you know this was Adolf Hitler's birthday? He was born April 20, 1889. He'd be 105 today... "

[shockingelk]

10. You wouldn't impress a math major!

;-)

(there, I winked, that's good, right?)

But you could continue to impress by noting that yesterday was the Queen's 78th birthday.

[shockingelk]

12. er, sorry

I forgot, I'm the one that's supposed to be learning, not teaching. Is this the part where we laugh hysterically and go romp in the grass?

[DS1]

5. They'll be beating down your door, dude. How about.

My, it sure it warm today, it's kinda making the asphalt sticky, 'makes it fun to tear a fast car around the twisties. You know what else sticks to hot asphalt? People do. Did you know that during the firebombing of Dresden people were literally melting into the street, some suck in the middle of the road screaming while their hands and knees sunk deeper. So you wanna go for a ride someday?

[kmla]

7. Errrrr. Ummmm. Are you trying to pick up people at the IAEA conference?

Otherwise, your are kinda scarin' me...

:D

[shockingelk]

15. I have a thing for scientists, actually

In the mid nineties, my strategy was to wear a baseball cap with an embroidered microscope logo. It worked once, but because someone asked what the heck that was on my hat.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. we should talk

i am an excellent flirt...first step...you have to have a nice smile...

[shockingelk]

19. what should I be smiling about

Trying to act natural is a harrowing experience!

[Mass_Liberal]

11. my favorite

hey... wanna go to my place and eat pizza and fuck?.... What, you don't like pizza?

[ohiosmith]

13. Sure fire. Hey baby! See this cold sore? Before the nights over,

you'll have one too. This only works if you have a cold sore of course.

[Canuckistanian]

22. Or my old standard

"Boy, you sure don't sweat much for a fat chick"
My mom probably wouldn't let me take her home, anyways.

[Dead_Parrot]

18. My personal favorite...

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you think I was desperate?"

It's never worked yet, but I like it...

Edit: I'm reminded of a friend who used "'Allo darling, fancy a shag?" He never went home alone... Although, last I heard, he's still single. Draw your own conclusions.

[rocktivity]

21. Time to get me to a nunnery.

:puke:
rocknation

[fudge stripe cookays]

30. "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock!"

Oi.

[Van Helsing]

35. "Help the homeless. Take me home with you."

:evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

36. I lost my number.

Can I have yours? :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

37. My name's Byron. You'd better remember it. You'll be screaming it later.

[VelmaD]

39. Are you in to Casual Sex

or should I dress up?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

42. Do you have any Scottish in you? Do you want some?

The old favourite.

[VelmaD]

44. I'd love every bone in your body,

especially mine.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

45. (licks finger then presses it to girl's shoulder)

Oops. Looks like we'd better get you out of those wet clothes.

[VelmaD]

47. Nice shoes.

Wanna fuck?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

50. Oh, OK, you convinced me.

That's my particular favourite.

[VelmaD]

51. Does that mean I win?

And if so...what do I get? ;)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

53. Frustration? Cookies? My Regard?

Hmm....Lets see what's on my desk...A Brochure for Retirement Savings Plans? Some Kleenex?

Just kidding, Velma. You win my lurrrve.
Not sure how to mail it, though.

[VelmaD]

55. Go to Mailbox Plus...

they can pack, wrap, adn mail anything. Just ask them to use bubblewrap instead of packing peanuts. I LUUUUUUUUURVE bubblewrap. :)

[fudge stripe cookays]

59. Here ya go, Velma.

http://www.virtualbubblewrap.com

[VelmaD]

60. Thank You Thank You Thank You

*big smooches*

[fudge stripe cookays]

58. You are such a charming devil.

Or something like that.

[Van Helsing]

40. You know what would look good on you?

Me.

[reformed_military]

65. Don't have the guts to try it, but....

"If you don't sleep with me, the Republicans will have already won."

j/k

[phillybri]

72. You're pretty...Would you like to have sex?

Why waste time???

[VelmaD]

75. Good point.

"Get nekkid" also works. :)

[MissMillie]

79. To quote a movie

You've got me hotter than Georgia asphalt.

[ET Awful]

80. One of my favorites. . .

"I don't exactly know what I am reqired to say in order for you to have intercourse with me, but could we assume that i've said all that. I mean essentially we're talking about fluid exchange right? So could we just go straight to the sex?" - John Nash (a Beautiful Mind).

[camero]

81. Would you like to see God?

Cause you'll be calling for him later. :evilgrin:

[Moderator]

83. Locking this before it gets out of hand