Do any of you know a gay person who was disowned by his/her family?

[bluestateguy]

I have a friend who was thrown out of the house at age 19 because he was gay. He went to New York and lost contact with his parents for a year. His parents later told him that he could come home IF he went to one of those "reparative therapy" clinics that supposedly help gays "leave the lifestyle". He refused.

Do anyone of you know of any gay people who were disowned by their families?

[Cannikin]

1. Oh yes...not at all uncommon...at least here in Arkansas.

[Nikia]

2. My mother's cousin was temporarily

After she disappeared, they said that they didn't really mean it though. They reacted badly though when she came out and said some mean things. As a result, she disappeared for four years, having no contact with family or local friends. When she came back, her parents completely changed their minds and were accepting of her being a lesbian. That happened when she was in her 20's shortly after getting out of the army. She is now a professor in her early 40's and lives with her girlfriend. Her father is dead now but her mother is very supporting of her. One shouldn't have to disappear for years to get their family to accept them though.

[boneygrey]

3. Yes

His parents wouldn't even visit him in the hospital when he was dying of AIDS. Shameful

[Duncan Grant]

4. Sure I do.

I think it's worse for Mormons, but a terrible experience for everyone! So sad, so cruel...and such a waste!

[BigMcLargehuge]

5. My sister in law

However... it probably wouldn't have resulted in virtual banishment if she didn't screw over a whole mess of people to make her lifestyle change.

[Skittles]

6. yes

I was among a group of people who cared for him when he was dying of AIDS. His family went to church; it made me sick.

Another gay friend of mine was disowned by his father but his step-father thinks the world of him.

[molly]

7. My younger brother for a while - I had long since left home

and my stepfather couldn't deal with it. My brother had a wonderful partner for a few years and then he died from lung cancer. My brother has been HIV positive for years.

It is NOT a lifestyle - it is inherent. Therapy for him would be like therapy for me to learn how to be a male.

[Sapphocrat]

8. Too many to count, I'm afraid. n/t

[kitkatrose]

9. No, but her girlfriend's family

tried to run her over when she came to pick the girl up. People can be so cruel sometimes. :(

[SOteric]

10. Yes, one, - but not for being gay.

And after he struggled with some serious problems in his life for a few years, after he evolved a bit as a person, he made peace with his family and they're all good again.

Again I stress, they threw him out and he's gay, - but gay wasn't the issue here.

[m-jean03]

11. My friend was disowned by her Mormon father

As far as I know, he still sends her a christmas card every year
telling her he will love her if only she gives up her sinful lifestyle.
These stories fucking break my heart every time I hear one. :cry:

[oxymoron]

12. Yes

Me.

[Gildor Inglorion]

24. I am SO sorry...

I can only imagine how that must hurt. My family has been wonderful, from my mother on down to great-nieces and nephews. I'm the luckiest guy alive, but I know I'm the exception, not the rule. I hope you have friends, significant other, etc., who are loving and supportive of you.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

13. Yes.

I want to know how can parents be so cruel. Aren't they supposed to love their children- to teach them what love is, and what hate is, and what compassion truly means?

It makes me so angry that kids like me even have to think of packing a suitcase before coming out to their parents.

[bearfan454]

17. My son is gay.

It took me a long time to accept it, but I have. He is my son. I love my son. Recently I saw him in KC and met his SO John. They are happy so I guess that is all that matters.

[arwalden]

22. It Took My Dad Nearly 20 Years To Accept Me...

... and even now, he's still ill-at-ease around me an my partner. From the time I was 20 until I was 40, it was an known-but-never-spoken-out-loud shame.

I think it was his heart attack and the close call he had in coming face-to-face with his own mortality that made him reassess his life and the things that were REALLY important... as well as the things that were pretty UNimportant.

-- Allen

P.S. Good for you and your son, Bearfan454!!

P.P.S. To answer the question in the original post... Yes. Unfortunatly I have had friends who were disowned and disavowed by their families. It's a sad situation.

[bearfan454]

26. Thanks arwalden.

[Karenina]

14. Yes. It's a painful memory.

We both attended a "very tony" consevatory. He was a beautiful and brilliant pianist. I just LOVED him, he was one who 'splained it all to me. He loved me too because I listened carefully and once aware, cared enough about him to break out of my conditioning to get to a place of real understanding. We'd dance the night away on 7th Ave So and collapse in the same bed after the sun rose, me thrilled and delighted to have had so much fun without the "meat market" and him using my presence to shield himself from it. We agreed on it.

Then he got "outed" to his family. They BRUTALIZED him, I could not shield him from THEIR onslaughts, not for lack of effort. He didn't call me before taking an overdose... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

It's 30 years later and NO, I'll NEVER "get over it." NEVER.

[trof]

15. Know two that weren't.

They don't talk about it, but they didn't run 'em off.

[Unperson 309]

16. Yes. Several.

Two young men, both thrown out at age 13, a very dear friend of mine who was disinherited and another whose parents never spoke to her again.

SOP for homophobc famlies.

I could *never* do that! Love is *supposed* to be stronger than that!

309

[foreigncorrespondent]

18. I am actually disowned...

...by my father, step mother, half brothers, and my grandmother on my mothers side. I do however have the support of my sister and mum.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

19. best movie i ever saw related to this topic...very funny too 3 thumbs up

Mambo Italiano

[Interrobang]

20. Yes.

A friend of mine was thrown out of his parents' house at age 17 (a very, very YOUNG 17 -- he'd never even so much as spent a night away from home before!) because he came out to them. They're fundamentalist Christians, and they tried every way to put the thumbscrews on him afterwards. When he called them to try to tell them how miserable he was, they told him he could only move back home if he went to "Christian counselling" and so on. I'm not sure if he speaks to his folks now or not, but he's most certainly doing better.

[richmwill]

25. Wow

What "lovely, tolerant, caring people" Fundies are.

And they claim WE lack "family values"- I guess throwing your kids out of the house and never speaking to them will just show them exactly how much you care about them, right?

[peekaloo]

21. Yes. I've known a few.......

One guy came from a wealthy family, dad owned a successful business in town and couldn't "afford" the "stigma" of a homosexual in the family. Don't know whatever became of Kim and his family doesn't talk about it to this day.

Another brother of a friend of mine was physically assaulted by his mother when he came out to her. After high school he moved to NYC to become a dancer, ended up waiting tables and died from complications due to AIDS. His friends paid for his funeral/burial expenses.

:-(

[tilsammans]

23. Yes. My former manager . . .

disowned his oldest son "for being a go-go dancer." Really, it was because his son was gay.