Question: Why is a man's height important to a woman?

[No2W2004]

I've been trying to "get back out there" via computer dating, and without fail, when I first meet someone, even though my profiles all state my correct height (5' 6"), they lose interest right away. I've had a few state that there wasn't a physical attraction there because of my height.

I'm not about to lie about me and wear lifts or shoes with big heels, and I'm naturally shy so it's difficult to just go up to someone and start talking. I'm also not giving up, but I'm just puzzled about the height issue.

[MikeG]

1. Fudge a couple of inches. They lie about their shit.

[No2W2004]

18. Nah,

Why should I? They either take me as I am, or they don't.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. Height not a problem for my brother

He's been happily married for over 20 years and he's 5' 5". If someone doesn't like you because of something as superficial as height, they're not worth it.

[Droopy]

5. I agree

Don't bother yourself with people like that, No2W2004. They are not really interested in who you are. I bet if you were meeting women that were interested in who you are that you wouldn't be able to keep them off of you.

[ImThatOneGuy]

3. A woman wants to feel secure

The whole height issue with women is about reassurance. A woman wants to look up to her man (especially when they dance). Having someone taller, they can rest her head on his shoulders and feel secure. They want someone that they can rely upon and feel safe and secure with and the height factor plays into this emotional need.

Well I know this may sound chauvinistic, my girlfriend and other women I have known have told me that this basic emotional need is true in most females.

[cally]

6. Not true

Don't generalize from your own personal experience. You may like that role and attract women who want that but many, perhaps most, reject that chauvinistic attitude.

[prolesunited]

44. Disagree strongly

A woman who feels secure and confident of herself does NOT need a man to fill those emotional needs. Not sure where you are from or what women you are hanging around with, but I would say the majority of women here would argue with you on this point.

On edit, just checked your profile and see that you are quite young. I think teens, both male and female, are quite insecure at this stage. When you start dealing with real women, you'll soon discover how erroneous this statement is. I think you might spend some time getting over your gender stereotypes.

[cally]

4. It doesn't matter to most women

My sister is married to a man 5'6" and my best friend is also. Both women are taller. When they first started dating it bothered them a little because the stereotype is that men are taller than women. Once they got close, height no longer mattered.

[greatauntoftriplets]

7. I am 5' 10" and it doesn bother me unless....

the man talks to my breasts and not to my face.

[2Design]

8. height not a problem to me....they are shallow

Actually I like a man close to may height. The tall ones are over powering to me.

Even shorter is ok with me.

[22181]

9. The brutally honest answer?

A woman doesn't want to feel "bigger" than her male partner. When we get hugs we want to feel like someone bigger than us is hugging us.

Having said that, I dated a guy who was 5'4" and we only broke up because he was psycho, not over his height. Meanwhile, my gorgeous sister in law is about to marry a 5'6" guy, exactly her height.

So as others have said, a woman who is truly bothered enough by your height (and nothing more!) to not continue a relationship is a shallow woman. You can (and will!) find a good relationship someday with a delightful woman, but you asked why height is imporant to a woman, so there's your answer - we just don't want to feel like we're the bigger one... ;-)

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

15. I like my short guy

I can actually pick him up off the ground! And when we hug, we are face to face, we can nuzzle each other, he doesn't have to bend over and I don't have to break my neck looking up at him.

It's nice....

[Garage Queen]

55. Hey, 22181 - I think I dated that guy, too!

5'4" - and turned out he was, well, maybe not 'psycho' ... ok, he was a psycho. He seemed so normal at the beginning ... (sigh)

I'm 5'6" and the height never bothered me. I've dated guys from 5'4" to 6'4". And who weighed anywhere from 140 pounds to 340 pounds. To me, the most important feature has always been: Do they make me laugh? Are they fun to be around? Do we have common interests? Stuff like 'looks' or 'weight' or 'height' are, frankly, unimportant to me.

And if you short guys think that YOU have problems, try being an overweight woman and getting a date. Now THAT'S a problem!

[KittyWampus]

10. It Isn't. My Natural Preference Is For Shorter Men

I am 5'2".

and I LOATHE very muscular men... they look like insects to me.

[belladonna]

11. Feel fortunate that they're losing interest

ANYONE who dismisses someone over height isn't worth even a second of your time. Shallow and silly, so why waste your time on someone like that? Be yourself and stick to it, she'll come along when you least expect it :hi:

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

12. Hey!

I married a guy who was 5'6" and now he is 5'5" (we really don't know what is happening to him!).

I think he is INCREDIBLY sexy and the hottest man on earth. Height has nothing to do with it.

By the way, I know s-e-x stuff isn't permitted here, so I'll put this in code, but there are a couple of REALLY nice things about a vertically challenged guy:

1. standing up not a problem
2. the two-digit number action? not a problem
3. regular style nice--face to face, not guy crumpled up to see you

ok that's all I'm gonna say about that before I get in trouble.

Keep looking there ARE women who don't care about it.

[belladonna]

17. Nah, sex threads not allowed

But let me just say, I agree 110% with everything you just said.... my ex husband was 6'4 to my 5'3 and the s*x wasn't NEARLY as good as it is with the guy I'm with now :evilgrin:

[Philosophy]

13. Hey at least you're doing better than me

I'm 6'1 and I've been trying to get a date through match.com for six months and I have yet to have a woman even agree to meet me in person. I've had a lot of interesting conversations with various East European porn site operators though.

[No2W2004]

16. Heh,

Yea, I've gotten 7 or 8 "ladies" from Russia looking for a green card.

[No2W2004]

14. See, that's why I posted this in DU

So I can be re-assured that I just have to "dig through the weeds to come up with a rose" so to speak. :hi:

[Philosophy]

19. I'm down wit H-Dog!

Don't make me do some crazy kung fu shit on some punk-ass accountz payabo suckah!

[No2W2004]

21. Word up!

Accountz payaboo don't have no skillz

[AlCzervik]

20. If someone loses interest in you because of your height

than that person is one shallow well.

[Kat45]

22. Apparently, men tend to lie about their height on these sites

I saw a report on online matching services. A woman said that most men she's encountered added a couple of inches to their height, so now she tends to assume that's what they're doing. Said a lot of folks also lie about their age. I've been checking out some online sites myself, and it concerns me to hear that a lot of folks are lying. Said married men also post saying that they are single.

I'd guess that some of these women looking at your profile probably think you're really about 5'4". But that doesn't answer your question about women's concern with height. My guess would be that it's probably because that's the way it's always been, men being taller than women. Same as men generally being older than women. I'm having a problem with the latter because I'm 49, look (and probably act) about 10 years younger, but men usually specify wanting a woman younger than them. :shrug:

[WinterStorm]

23. Small guys don't bother me

Small guys with little mans syndrome do tho.

I don't look at someones height as a requirement to date them.

My first boyfriend was 6"5 and I was one foot shorter then he was.

Gorgeous tall man.

My next boyfriend was 5"3 and he was shorter then I am but he had little mans syndrome and he would pick fights with everyone. He was also a gorgeous man but a very rude one.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

24. Yeah that Little Man Syndrome SUCKS

I was so happy to discover my little guy most definitely does not have it. He's very secure in who he is. That might have had something to do with the combination of being raised by a very liberal, open-minded mother and being trained as a sniper in the Army. He's got nothing to prove, LOL!

[No2W2004]

25. I've never had an issue with my height before.

My ex and I were the same height. I know I'm generally shorter than other men, but until now it's never even occoured to me that I'm at a physically at a "disadvantage" when first meeting women.

That said, anyone in the NW Chicago burbs wanna grab a beer with a short 40 year old liberal?

[AlCzervik]

27. My Dad claims he's 5'9

in realtiy he's about 5'5 and he used to have littleman syndrome something awful, thankfully he's mellowed. He never picked fights but he was always very arrogant.

[Osama_Bin_Winnin]

49. 5-33 and he picked fights with everyone ?

He must have spent a lot of time in the hospital or did most guys let him slide 'cause they were afraid they'd accidentally kill him ?

[underseasurveyor]

26. What ever the reason

it's a stupid and superficial excuse. I think it has to do more with the womans own insecure self image.

I'm 5'9 plus a smidge. When I was 19 I dated a very nice man for almost a year and guess what he did for a living? He was a Jockey. Yep all 5 foot 1 inch of him, and we had some great times together. Sometimes he'd pick me up at 4 or 4:30 in the morning and I'd go watch him excercise horses for a few hours at the track. Shoot the name of the track escapes me at the moment, the one in Inglewood, CA?

Not only was height not an issue with either of us, on top of that in those days I use to wear 3 to 4 inch high heels regularly. Didn't bother me and it didn't bother him. Yeah we drew looks. We would look at each other, smile and say, 'they're just jealous'.

And girls, the sex part of it, in case that's a concern........whew :thumbsup: Just because a man is 5'1 doesn't mean he's any less virile or strong or capable or brave or tough. A good man with a good heart is a good person no matter the height :-) I felt no less "safe or secure" when we were together. Dating and intimacy were a little awkward at first but that soon passes.

Then there was the man I eventually married who is now deceased. And he was just barely 5'7. Personally I prefer to judge a person by the content of their character :thumbsup: versus their height.

That's the kind of women you want to find.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

28. Actually I have found

sex with a shorter guy to be better than sex with a taller guy, for many logistical reasons. I talked about it somewhere above.

Sorry, I'm not hatin on the tallies, just sayin.

[underseasurveyor]

29. Yeah I read that above

And yes I tend to agree.......;-)
Nuff said, ay :evilgrin:

[Aftershock]

30. Yeah...I'm a 22 year old male that's 5'5" tall...

I get turned down also because of my height. I think girls want a taller guy so they feel more "secure". That's bs. Short guys can give just as much security as tall guys.

You women that like taller guys, I shake my fists at you! :evilfrown:

[tigereye]

43. my husb isaa foot taller than me

I/m 5"4, but I have also had past bf's prior to marriage, who were much shorter and attractive as well. I don't think height really matters. What matters is the person.

[Misunderestimator]

31. 5'6" is the perfect height for me...

but I'm a lesbian who likes shorter women.... not to make light of your concern :)

It's good that you're honest. Better to know right away if a woman is so superficial that a silly thing like height would make her discount everything else.

[grannylib]

32. It shouldn't be...my hubby is 5'8" barely, and it's perfect. If he were

any taller, I'd get a crick in my neck when we smooch, and I couldn't lay my head on his shoulder on those rare occasions when I can get him to dance! Also, I'm not staring at his navel during sex...
just a few points you may want to mention in your ads *lol*

[TexasSissy]

33. Brutally honest answer

These are broad generalizations. Imagine yourself as Dudley Moore or Mickey Rooney, both of whom had lots of relationships with some of the most beautiful actresses. So height isn't everything. It can be overcome....but it IS something that must be overcome. Money and power easily overcome the height thing. But the height thing can make a man more competitive with a monied man with power (but the man with money and power will usu. win out). So you see, height isn't everything.

And let's not forget just plain ol' attractiveness. An unattractive tall man doesn't have the same allure as a good lookin' shorter-than-average man, usu. (Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.)

1. A tall height is just a natural attractiion. So a shorter man doesn't have that natural come-on. He must work harder to overcome the height thing. A tall man starts out with an advantage.

2. If a man is shorter than average, it is easy to come to the conclusion that EVERYTHING is smaller than average, if you get my drift. That isn't necessarily the case. And that may be a plus for a small woman, even if it is the case. But that issue is there.

3. It might be a biological thing. In the animal world, the males are usu. the biggest and most colorful, all for the purpose of attracting the females as mates. In the caveman days, female humans were probably attracted to the largest of the males, since they would've had an advantage over the smaller men at being a better protector and provider. NOW, though, females are not only attracted to the largest and "prettiest" of the males, but also to the ones with the most money and power - again, this may be biological (females wired to go for the best providers and protectors, which she needs for her young ones).

4. To be tall is usu. thought to be a masculine trait. There are very few women who are 6 feet tall. So the height thing has masculine appeal to me. Just like I guess breasts have allure to men; it's something the opposite sex rarely has.

5. It makes me feel smaller to be with a taller man. I did have one cutie pie boyfriend years ago, though....he was on the sort side. But I didn't give it a second thought. He was just so cute and sexy and all.

My advice: the right woman will come along. Short women are often very attracted to shorter-than-average men; they don't feel so overwhelmed.

You should concentrate on what you DO have. Like I say, I have had very tall boyfriends, and that's my preference. But I've had a short boyfriend, and I didn't even notice that he was shorter than average. He didn't act insecure about it. That's how you should act. Concentrate on being cute and sexy and confident. THAT'S what women REALLY like. That's so m-a-l-e. Women are the shy ones, really.

Note: There's a big shot partner in the law firm I work at. He just got divorced and is living with one of the female partners. He makes a ton of $$$$, and his girlfriend (who was married) is drop dead gorgeous. He's only about 5'2", but he's cute and confident and secure. His girlfriend is only about 5'1". His wife was very petite, also. It's all in how you act about it. Some women won't like your height, so f*k 'em. Be confident and sexy and cute, and there'll be plenty who won't even notice you're shorter than average.

[flamingyouth]

34. I've always dated shorter men

Or at least guys who are my height (5'7"). It's always been a bigger problem for the guy than for me. I don't wear heels anyway.

Oh, but it would be nice to have a tall man around, if only to change light bulbs in the ceiling and to get plates off the top shelf of the cupboard.;)

[No2W2004]

35. I come equiped with one of these:

:hi:

[eyesroll]

36. They are useful that way, aren't they?

;)

[No2W2004]

39. Heh,

My house would be dark without one!

[eyesroll]

37. Short answer -- it's not

I'm 5'2", and while my husband is more than a foot taller than I am, I didn't exactly go looking for a tall guy (we met when I was 17, so I was hardly looking for a husband, or even a boyfriend, either). In high school, I dated from about 5'4" up, and if I found myself single again, I can't imagine height would be a factor (simply based on the people I've found attractive over the last decade -- some have been tall, some not-so-tall).

<everyone else's posts>
If people have a problem with it, you're probably better off not dating them anyway.
</everyone else>

Good luck.

[Shopaholic]

38. Hey--5'6" is tall enough for me!

I'm only 5'3". And the average woman in America is like only 5'3 or 5'4--so I don't know what the big is honestly about how tall you are. Look, if they're not interested, they're the losers here--not you!

[No2W2004]

40. I've been "out of circulation" for a long time

And I've never thought about it a day in my life till this started. It's something I can't change (without being dishonest about myself) and frankly I'm comfortable with just being me. I honestly didn't know that "I'm supposed to be taller according to some people. As a white male, it's kind of a slap in the face to experience discrimination first hand. (not that I'd care to spend any more time with those preocupied by what's on the outside anyway.) That certainly isn't my main concern. I'm more focused on what sort of person lies inside.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

41. They mistakenly believe the proportionality of all lengths in a male body?

[LWolf]

42. It's not, for me.

I can't speak for any other women.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. I'm 5'10", and I think that more men are

hesitant to date a taller woman then women are to date a shorter man.

The man I was strongly attracted to most recently was only about 5'8".

[JI7]

46. how tall are the women you usually see ?

how tall do the women tend to be that you meet ?

[No2W2004]

48. generally around the same height as me

or a bit shorter. It's not a preference, just how things have worked out. It makes no difference to me.

[johnnie]

47. I'm 5'5" and it's fine with me

I know that a lot of women like men taller, but I like women shorter than me. I'm not too hung up on it though, if a woman finds me attractive, and I find her attractive then who cares?
If a woman wants to be shallow enough to think that I am too short for them, then they would probably be more shallow on a lot of other issues. If I remain single because I haven't grown to 6 foot, then oh well, that's life.

[onebigbadwulf]

50. Women want tall, dark, and handsome

characteristics of an alpha male.

It's all based on primal instincts.

[SarahB]

51. I think that's what it is.

I have a definite notice and physical preference on a sort primal level for tall, very manly looking men, but certainly it's not an absolute criteria or what I'd base my choice of person on. Just kind of a nice bonus sort of thing that makes me stand up and go, "Oh baby, he's hot." (Not that strait males don't do the same about assorted physical features we ladies have.)

[GOPisEvil]

52. Hey - I'm 2 outta 3!!! That's better than average!

:D

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

53. I've found my bubble-butt has more than compensated my 5'7"

:) - I agree with these folks - if they care they aren't worth it.

[mac56]

54. I was dumped once after two years of dating

because I was the same height as the woman. Not shorter - - the same height. She just woke up one morning and decided she couldn't deal with that anymore.

In retrospect it was the best thing that could have happened to me.