Favorite non-obscene, non-inside-joke term for a moron

[Bossy Monkey]

Poll question: Favorite non-obscene, non-inside-joke term for a moron

So while "fuckhead" might be satisfying, and "moran" is a local favorite, I need something that will have meaning outside our little community and which won't be inherently offensive to large proportions of society. This is for a parody of the Complete Idiot's Guides, and might actually be on bookstore shelves someday, assuming I ever write that much.

Edit: Ok, filled it out with excellent suggestions from below. Thanks everybody!

[Fescue4u]

1. Hes a One D Ten T

write it out in numerics.

[Career Prole]

2. Always preferred "bonehead", actually. n/t

[Bossy Monkey]

3. Good one. Added it. n/t

[Career Prole]

12. Rats! Subtract my vote from "imbecile" and put it on "bonehead"!

:dunce:

[Bossy Monkey]

13. I can do that; I'll vote "bonehead"

Dunno if I was going to vote "imbecile" otherwise, but we'll pretend I would have. :D

[Career Prole]

32. A true friend! :-)

Forgive my panic, but I take all my votes so seriously now...even "bonehead" vs. "imbecile". I'm practicing for November when it'll be "bonehead" vs. "Kerry". :toast:

[jpgray]

4. Ninnyhammer (nt)

[mark0rama]

5. I also like the whole genre of descriptions...

...along the lines of "a few bricks short of a load": "a few fries short of a Happy Meal," "one oar in the water", etc.

[Maeve]

7. Bright as a one-watt bulb

Elevator doesn't go to the top floor....in need of some Hamburger Helper...about half a bubble off plumb...the wheel is turning but the hamster died...

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a week.

[mark0rama]

11. "Half a bubble off plumb"...

...is my new favorite; thanks!

[central scrutinizer]

15. "the lights are on, but nobody's home"

is one of my favorites

[5thGenDemocrat]

6. I go with "drooler"

But that's just me.
John
Plus, it rhymes with "Bueller," so you can say it with a Ben Stein inflection.

[bloodyjack]

8. 'Dunder'...

also 'mouthbreather'

[Bossy Monkey]

14. Both good; I probably should have used at least one

There's also "bubble-headed boobie" from "Lost in Space"; not sure it really works out of context, but still fun.

[redqueen]

9. I use 'nitwit' and 'knucklehead'

sometimes 'chucklehead', but not usually.

[Skittles]

10. f***ing asshole

oops; sorry.

[MGKrebs]

16. Didn't Don Rickles used to use 'hockey puck"?

It's got a funny sound. :silly:

[Ivan Sputnik]

17. I have a thesaurus

cretin, half-wit, simpleton, dunce, dullard, dumbbell, dummkopf, ignoramus, simpleton

[EstimatedProphet]

18. Dolt

if it's inappropriate to say f*cktard.

[Pale Blue Dot]

19. Dikweed. nt

[Philostopher]

22. That's one of mine, too.

They used to use it on MST3K. Peckerhead, also.

My favorite ____ as a ____ simile is "dumb as a bag of hammers."

[jakefrep]

20. Dimbulb

[Magrittes Pipe]

21. "matcom"

[Dastard Stepchild]

23. "Ape"

I think hairy, smelly and knuckle-dragging primates when I think "moron." I don't care much for apes.

[eyesroll]

24. I've always been partial to dumbass...

Assuming that's not an obscenity.

[Spiffarino]

25. Twit

That's been a favorite since I first saw Monty Python's Flying Circus back in the '70s.

I also have a friend who says "dingle-doid" quite a bit. It's cute when she says it.

[SnohoDem]

26. Ninnyhammer

deserves at least one vote.

[TOhioLiberal]

27. Mine:

Meathead (think Archie Bunker)
About as sharp as a sack of wet mice (Foghorn Leghorn)

[Bucky]

28. "Bean dip north of the eyebrows".

I love knucklehead. Imbecile, retarded, and moron are all antiquated medical terms from the 19th century. I try to avoid them, but they feel so good to say I can't help myself when I'm on a self righteous tear.

[BigMcLargehuge]

29. Cement head

for a while as a kid that was my Dad's nickname for me. He sometimes substituted "Pigeon brain"... but I had to do something REALLY stupid to draw a Pigeon Brain.

[Bossy Monkey]

37. This is my favorite in real life

though "dunderhead" is probably most likely to make it into the title

[maveric]

30. Ignoramus

One of the many I learned from the 3 Stooges.

[Sabriel]

31. Idjit

aka eejit.

[TahitiNut]

33. Coprocephalic

... just a fancy term for 'shithead.' :shrug: When used directly, the ignorance of the nominee merely confirms the diagnosis.

[vajraroshana]

34. "Waterhead"

I know, I know, ...it's bad (it refers to an old-fashioned name for a serious congenital brain deformity). But for some reason it makes me laugh.

[philosophie_en_rose]

35. Asshat

As in "George W. Bush uses his ass as a hat."

[mykpart]

36. I like "pimple-brain" or "pea-brain" or "pebble-brain."

Hubby likes "IQ not in double digits."

And I think "moran" is an insult to Irish-Americans! :)

[MGKrebs]

38. Coupla tacos short of a #8?