The funniest thing on the web. Rapture city

[lil-petunia]

http://www.raptureready.com/

Here's their first warning:

The rapture 
is going to strike without warning. 

The rapture is going to happen suddenly. 

The rapture is going to be one of the most astonishing events to ever occur. 

how's that for kicks? Warning that there will be no warning?

then, probably the most idiotic and humorous part of this site is

http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

The rapture speedometer - ready to show you acts of devil, god's wrath, and other signs (oh dear, we have earthquakes? Rain? Drought? it MUST be a sign!)

[mrboba1]

1. If they are taken off, how would they know if it was

going to be astonishing?

[lil-petunia]

2. they hear voices? just like the pres?

[EarlG]

3. I bet the Rapture happened already

Only about 50 people were actually good enough to make it into heaven, so nobody even noticed. :evilgrin:

[fob]

4. Holy Shit, EarlG. If we could get that out there the whole fundy movement

would fall apart! How about a DUer National Convention where we "witness" this event.

[CO Liberal]

5. "If The Rapture Happens, Can I Have Your Car?"

Saw that on a bumper sticker.

[mark11727]

6. "When the Rapture Comes, This Car Will Be Unmanned"

...what if I just drag 'im out, slap 'im around, and call it even?

[CO Liberal]

9. Right Now, It's Driver is Mindless

:-)

[zbdent]

7. Gotta love the urban legend about the woman who saw a bunch

of "inflatable women filled with helium" break loose.

Apparently she thought the rapture was occurring, and that she climbed on the top of her car waiting to be taken.

Of course, she was injured when she fell, and found out later that it was all an accident.

(snopes, I believe, dispells this "urben legend")

[Paragon]

8. So Bush isn't crazy, just impatient?

Wants to git that dern Rapture here already, dagnabit!

[ElsewheresDaughter]

10. the hal lindsey cartoons suck

:shrug:

[Courtesy Flush]

11. I'm still shopping for a religion

I'll go to the highest bidder

Jesus is offering streets of gold, but I'm thinking that gold, or any currency, would be worthless in heaven. So who cares what the streets are made of. So all he's really offering is a chance to spend eternity with a bunch of fundamentalists. Pass.

Allah is offering 72 virgins. Now that's an offer that gets my attention, until you read the fine print. I only get the virgins if I give up pork, alcohol, and infidels (my three favorite things). Besides, those virgins will probably stay pure, because my wife will be there with me, and she's a stickler for fidelity. Pass.

If anyone knows of a god who's offering something I can use, please let me know. Right now my wish list consists of: early retirement; a really nice sailboat, with etrnal good sailing weather; a presidential candidate that I can be proud to vote for; and maybe an iPod.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

12. Wow, these people REALLY HATE the EU, don't they?

33 Beast Government:
EU leaders agree on a new draft constitution.
34 The Antichrist:
The EU is looking a new President.