Is parenthood a great cosmic joke or what?

[Cheswick2.0]

My prodigal son (age 24) has been drifting for so long. There is not a day in the last 9 years I have not worried about him. There is not a day in the last 6 years that I have not wondered where he was or what self distructive thing he was doing. There is not a day in the last 4 years that I have not wondered if this was the day some one calls me to tell me he is dead.
Last night he called me and left a message "hi Mom, I'm in baltimore and I am coming up there. I should be there at about 9:30. See you then".
He sounded upset or worried, kind of that "I don't know where to turn or what I am doing" voice.
Still no prodigal son 12 hours later. I have to go to his ex-girl friends sisters house to see if she has a phone number for Amy in Baltimore. I am sure that is where he was. Maybe he never left and just hasn't called me. Or maybe he left last night.

I think every pregnancy should come with the voice of God:

"My child, this little baby boy is great now, but just wait until he's 14. All hell is going to break loose. Are you sure you are ready for this?"

[JitterbugPerfume]

1. every mom that has had a wayward child

Feels your pain

I have a daughter that I worry about slipping back into her drug habit daily


she is four states away

maybe she has and the news just has not filtered down to me yet

anyway(((((((((((((HUG))))))))) for Cheswick

[Cheswick2.0]

4. I feel like I have been holding my breath for years

I never understood the story of the Prodigal son until about a year or so ago when it hit me: my younger son is not perfect, but we (he and I) celebrate his triumphs and life choices in a small way every day. I don't worry about him really. He makes the same bone head mistakes most 21 year old college kids do, but he is traveling down a fairly straight and sensible path. I don't have to kill the fatted calf for him, we've enjoyed the roasted chicken on a regular basis.

But my older son, if he were ever to break and "see the light" so to speak, the whole world would hear my celebration.
In fact my younger son has said to me "how come ________ keeps screwing up and you keep kissing his ass?"
LOL, I love the way kids put things. He just doesn't understand that his brother is not him and can't be held to the same expectations. My older son carries his harshest critic around in his own head.

[ramapo]

2. I hear you

Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.

My two are 17 & 21. It was a LOT more fun when they were 7 & 11 or 3 & 7.

[tigereye]

3. mine is still little

I do think that parenthood is a cosmic joke, on some level, since you try to teach them correctly and give them the tools to make the right choices and hope that that happens. And at the same time, realize that you can't make it so.

Best to you.

[Cheswick2.0]

6. Right and you just never know what the world will throw at them

and since you can't control their world after about the age 5, having the impression that you can protect your child is a fools notion.

Best right back!

[Cheswick2.0]

5. I have always said they should have to be little again one day a month

Just one day a month, let me have back my 8 and 10 year old boys when the worst thing that happened could be cured with ice cream and a few stitches if necessary.