My favorite lines from "Airplane"

[ronnykmarshall]

Jivemn2 : Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Attndnt : Can I get you something?
Jivemn2 : S'mo fo butter layin' to the bone. Jackin' me up.
Tightly.
Attndnt : I'm sorry I don't understand.
Jivemn1 : Cutty say he cant hang.
Woman4 : Oh stewardess, I speak jive.
Attndnt : Ohhhh, good.
Woman4 : He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know
if you can help him.
Attndnt : Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as
soon as I can with some medicine.
Woman : Jus' hang loose blooood. She goonna catch up on the`
rebound a de medcide.
Jivemn2 : What it is big mamma, my mamma didn't raise no dummy, I
dug her rap.
Woman4 : Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don wan no help, chump
don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains
anyhow.

[Cush]

1. "do you like gladiator movies?"

[Archae]

2. "And quit calling me Shirley!"

Too many more to choose from.

[ronnykmarshall]

3. I have the whole script on a word doc.

I love reading it.

[unblock]

4. but that's not important now

[Deja Q]

5. Barbara Billingsly spoke the jive...

It's funny either way, but watching Mrs. Cleaver getting that role 20 years after "Leave it to Beaver" when the show was running in syndication must've been roaringly funny at the time.

[Lady Effingbroke]

6. More lines from Airplane!

Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady
got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head!
Subtitle: GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE
OR I WILL PUNCH HIM.
Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no
mo' big rap upon you man!
Subtitle: YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT.
Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get
the same ol' same ol.
Subtitle: I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP
BEING SORRY.
Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got
perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.
Subtitle: DON'T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL
CHOICE.
Jiveman1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac
lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY,
WEALTHY AND WISE.
Together: Col' got to be! Yo!
Subtitle: HOW TRUE!
Together: Sheeeeeeet!
Subtitle: GOLLY.

Here is the whole script (for those who, for some inexplicable reason, do not already have it):

http://www.eecs.tufts.edu/~rkogan/humor/airplane.html

[ronnykmarshall]

16. I just went out and bought the DVD.

I gotta play that sceen!

[ironflange]

18. There's a part missing

The bit after the credits.

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

20. Thanks for that...never know when I might need it

:D MKJ

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

7. Having to paraphrase.."I picked a bad day to quit....

Smoking
Drinking
Sniffing glue...on and on. LOL! MKJ

[AlCzervik]

8. so many to choose from

http://www.geocities.com/fozzy42/SoundClips/Movies/Airplane/finger.wav

[Lady Effingbroke]

9. The River of Jordan!

I've traveled the banks of the river of Jordan
To find where it flows to the sea
I looked in the eyes of the cold and the hungry
And I saw that I was looking at meeeeeee.
And I wanted to know if life had a purpose
And what it all means in the end
In the silence I listened to voices inside me
And they told me again and again.

There is only one river
There is only one sea
And it flows through you
And it flows through me
There is only one people
We are one in the same
We are all one spirit
One naaaaaaaaaaaammmme.
We are the father
We are one.
We are one.
We are one.

[radwriter0555]

10. "what do you make of this?" (pointing to a map...)

"You can use it for a hat, you can use it for a broach, you can use it for a pteradactyl...."

[No2W2004]

11. you can tell me, I'm a doctor

We need to get these people to a Hospital

Hospital? What is it?

It's a big building with patients in it, but that's not important right now...


Hey, Johnny, what can you make of this?

Oh! I can make a hat....or a broach...or a terydactle...

[UpsideDownFlag]

12. "assume crash positions!"

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

13. STRYKER, STRYKER!

*WHAPSH*

[MissMillie]

14. Jim never vomits at home....

I haven't felt this bad since we saw that Ronald Reagan film.




I'll take Hamm on five, hold the Mayo.




Ted Striker : My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.

Elaine Dickinson : When will you be back?

Ted Striker : I can't tell you that. It's classified.

[Lady Effingbroke]

15. Sluggish - like a wet sponge!

Kramer : How's it handling?
Striker : Sluggish, like a wet sponge.
Elaine : Sluggish, like a wet sponge.
Kramer : Alright, Striker, your doing just fine.
Striker : Its a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate
his guts.
Elaine : Its a damn good thing you don't know how much he
hates your guts.

In honor of this thread, my avatar is now "Otto" - he shoulda won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor!

[Athletic Grrl]

17. What's your vector Victor?

Also (to Kareem): "My dad says you don't get back on defense."

Kareem: "YOU try dragging Lanier and Walton down the floor for 40 minutes a game."

[ironflange]

19. Oever: You ever been in a cockpit before?

Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Oever: You ever seen a grown man naked?