Dramatic Readings of Song Lyrics

[Cats Against Frist]

Hi. I teach a creative writing class, and there are a lot of students turning in songs, instead of "poems." I wanted to show them how songs rely on music for part of their "emotive" content, and that a song, on paper, is half an art form.

So, I was going to bring in some famous song lyrics that sound ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS, if you just read them dramatically, and have them read them, out loud, like a poem.

Michael Jackson songs are pretty good for this -- but I was wondering if anyone had any other ideas, off the top of his or her head, that would be really good for this exercise -- borderlining on absurd.

Thanks, if you do.

[redqueen]

1. William Shatner managed to make Mr. Tambourine Man sound ridiculous

Try that one.

[lazarus]

2. Here's one

Yeah, it was overplayed, but technically a very good song. Thing is, all the structure is in the arrangement and music. As a poem, it has no real rhythm or scansion.

Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not
go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

[BurtWorm]

Who Put The Bomp (In The Bomp-A-Bomp-A-Bomp)?

I'd like to thank the guy who wrote the song
That made my baby fall in love with me.

Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp?
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?
Who put the dip in the dip-de-dip-de-dip?

Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand,
He made my baby fall in love with me.
Yeah!

[Blue-Jay]

3. I remember waking up one morning in the late 80s to the radio.

The "wacky" morning guys were reading the lyrics to "Glamor Boys" by Living Color. It was hysterical!

"I ain't no glamor boy" <long pause> "I'm Fierce!"

[Cats Against Frist]

4. Those are great suggestions, everyone -- keep them coming

I have until about 12:30 Central to pick them out.

[tsakshaug]

5. Fly robin fly

I recall Sonny Bono doing a dramatic reading of this disco classis

"Fly robin fly
fly robin fly
fly robin fly
up up to the sky"

repeat

[Richardo]

6. Nobody But Me

written by Ronald, O'Kelley, and Rudolph Isley
recorded by The Isley Brothers (1962)
also recorded by the Human Beinz (1968)
------------------------------------------------------------

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
The shing-a-ling
Like I do

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
the skate
Like I do

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
The boogaloo
Like I do

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no

Nobody can do
the philly
Like I do

Well don't you know I'm gonna skate
I'm doin', ain't nobody doin'
But me baby
Nobody but me

Yes i gonna philly, I'm doin'
Ain't nobody doin'
But me baby
Nobody but me

Well let me tell you nobody
Nobody but me
Well let me tell you
Nobody, nobody, nobody, etc.

:D

And also - "Land of 1,000 Dances"

[Wat_Tyler]

7. Peter Sellers did A Hard Day's Night in the style of Richard III.

Fabulous.

[Englander]

12. Close,but no cigar..was Peter Sellers..

n/t

[Wat_Tyler]

13. Bollocks. You're absolutely right.

The shame.

Peter Cook was Richard III on Blackadder. I'm easily confused.

[Richardo]

8. Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen

A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a

A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
Well, everybody's talking about the bird
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird

Surfin' bird
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, aaah

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom
Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Well, don't you know about the bird
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow... :D

[DelawareValleyDem]

9. Try one of those

songs with endless list of words, phrases, names like "We Didn't Start the Fire" or "End of the World". That should do it.

[pagerbear]

10. Operator

Operator, oh, could you help me place this call
You see the number on the matchbook is old and faded
She's living in L.A.
With my best old ex-friend Ray
A guy she said she knew well and sometimes hated

Chorus:
Isn't that the way they say it goes
But lets forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell her I'm fine and to show
I've overcome the blow
I've learned to take it well I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn't real
But that's not the way it feels

Operator, oh, could you help me place this call
'Cause I can't read the number that you just gave me
There's something in my eyes
You know it happens every time
I think about the love that I thought would save me

Chorus

...no no no no that's not the way it feels

Operator let's forget about this call
There's no one there I really wanted to talk to
Thank you for your time
'Cause you've been so much more than kind
And you can keep the dime

Chorus

[Englander]

11. Peter Sellers does the Beatles' "Hard Days Night"..

in the style of Laurence Olivier,

dressed as Richard III.:D

[skygazer]

14. That's a good exercise

How about things like "She Loves You" by the Beatles. Really anything with a repetitive chorus sounds ridiculous when read as poetry alone.

[gpandas]

15. steve allen did this ...

on his show regularly. the funniest one i recall was "da doo ron ron"

[Dedalus]

16. The absolute worst...

...lyrics in a Top 40 record ever can be found in "Come On, Let's Go" by Ritchie Valens (of "La Bamba" fame). It honestly sounds like he's making it up as he goes along. However, this is an unfair criticism for two reasons:

1. English was not his first language, and
2. No-one was expected to have "good lyrics" in 1958. In fact one of the ways Rock set itself apart from earlier music was by having bad lyrics on purpose, to highlight the fact that the music was for "fun." When Dylan and the Beatles brought "good lyrics" into rock, they were "good" because they were trying to "say something," as opposed to the earlier "good lyrics" model of being technically clever a la Cole Porter.

So, are you looking for:

a) the worst lyrics irrespective of all external concerns, OR
b) the worst lyrics by someone who's TRYING to write good lyrics?

If "A," the answer is "Come On, Let's Go," or possibly "Diana" by Paul Anka.

If "B," try "In The Year 2525" by Zager & Evans, "Horse with No Name" (or any other song) by America, or any number of songs by Neil Diamond or Stone Temple Pilots.

[GiovanniC]

17. Crash Test Dummies - "Keep a Lid On Things"

Who put the doggy in the doghouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put your granny in the grannyhouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby
Who put the bad in the madhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put that junk in the junkhouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby

Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Don't you try everything while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things

Who put the fun in the funhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put your dad in the halfhouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby
Who put the boys in the clubhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put the cat in the cathouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby

Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Don't you try everything while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things

Who dug the hole in the outhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put Whitey in the White House?
You did, baby - you did, baby

Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Don't you try everything while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things

[GiovanniC]

18. Macarena Lyrics

When I dance they call me macarena
and the boys they say that I´m buena
they all want me, they can´t have me
So they all come and dance beside me
move with me jam with me
and if your good i take you home with me
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena Eeeh, macarena
A-Hai 2x
Now don´t you worry ´bout my boy friend
the boy who´s name is Nicorino
I don´t want him, ´cause sent him
he was no good so I - hahaaaa
Now, come on, what was I supposed to do ?
He was outta town and his two friends were soooo fine
Ref. 2x
Claps Ahai Ahai
Keys
Ref. 2x
Lach
Come and find me, my name is Macarena
always at the party,
´cause the chicos think I´m buena
come join me, dance with me
and all your fellows cat hello with me

[GiovanniC]

19. Hanson "Mmmmbop"

You have so many relationships in this life,
But only one or two will last.
You go through all the pain and strife,
Then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast.

Oh yeah. they’re gone so fast.

Oh, so hold on to the ones who really care,
In the end they’ll be the only ones there.
When you get old and start losing your hair,
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care? oh care.

Chorus:

Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do

Oh yeah, in an mmmbop they’re gone. yeah.

Plant a seed, plant a flower,
Plant a rose, you can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows.
It’s a secret no one knows.
It’s a secret no one knows.
Oh, no one knows.

[GiovanniC]

20. And the Coup D'etat -- Spice Girls "Wannabe"

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really
wanna zigazig ha.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really
wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta
get with my friends)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta
get with my friends)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me you gotta
listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta
get with my friends),
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam

Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around (uh uh).
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah

If you wanna be my lover.