Best song to puke fun at/criticize Christianity/Religion in General

[UdoKier]

Poll question: Best song to puke fun at/criticize Christianity/Religion in General

Best song to puke fun at/criticize Christianity/Religion in General

Feel free to add your own suggestions. I'll put "other" last, when it's all full-up.

[Feathered Fish]

1. Religion by PIL n/t

[XNASA]

2. "Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?.............

Did you make mankind, after he made you?
And the Devil too?"

[AllegroRondo]

3. Bad Religion

just about every album of theirs has a couple anti-chrisitanity tunes on it.

"and have they told you how to think
cleared your mind of sepsis and autonomy
or have you escaped from scrutiny
and regaled yourself in depravity

now we all see
religions just synthetic frippery
unnecessary
in our expanding global cultural efficiency"

[ET Awful]

11. I was going to say "I Want to Conquer the World"

:) n/t

[buddhamama]

27. Bad Religion

gets my vote, and there are just too many good songs to choose from.

[Ladyhawk]

4. Dan Barker's Friendly Neighborhood Atheist

The CD is a goldmine for ex-fundies. but I love XTC's Dear God.

[sundog]

5. God - Tori Amos

[frictionlessO]

13. I voted Tori as well but only one vote! I smell a fraud here!

[donheld]

6. Dear God is more of a smack down

Dear god, hope you get the letter and...
I pray you can make it better down here
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving in the street
'Cause they don't get enough to eat from god
I can't believe in you

Dear god, sorry to disturb you but...
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street
'Cause they can't make opinions meet about god
I can't believe in you

Did you make disease and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god don't know if you noticed but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look
And all the people that you made in your image
still believing that junk is true
Well I know it ain't, and so do you
Dear god
I can't believe in
I don't believe

I won't believe in heaven or hell
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well
No pearly gates, no thorny crown
You're always letting us humans down
The wars you bring, the babes you drown
Those lost at sea and never found
And it's the same the whole world 'round
The hurt I see helps to compound
That father, son and holy ghost
Is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'll perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve
If there's one thing I don't believe in

It's you
Dear god

[lightbulb]

7. This is a bit mean spirited

After all, there's nothing inherently wrong with Christianity. It's the hypocritical bigots and murderers who pretend to be Christians that piss off most of us. Attacking what is theoretically a philosophy of peace and tolerance isn't so cool.

(coming from a non-believer, btw)

[UdoKier]

9. It's not mean at all, but I broadened the poll a bit.

It needn't be just about Christianity.

Christianity deserves criticism and ridicule. So does liberalism. Institutions NEED criticism and ridicule if they are ever to improve.

Criticizing and poking fun is NOT the same as condemnation. Get the distinction straight. Many of these songs are not anti-Christian, so much as they are anti-hypocrisy.

[meegbear]

8. Christianity is Stupid - Negativland

Communism is GOOD!

[jobycom]

10. You left out "Imagine" for what reason? nt.

[edbermac]

12. Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life...

DROP KICK ME, JESUS, THROUGH THE GOALPOSTS OF LIFE
END OVER END, NEITHER LEFT NOR THE RIGHT
STRAIGHT THROUGH THE HEART OF THOSE RIGHTEOUS UPRIGHTS
DROP KICK ME, JESUS, THROUGH THE GOALPOSTS OF LIFE

MAKE ME, OH, MAKE ME, LORD, MORE THAN I AM
MAKE ME A PIECE IN YOUR MASTER GAME PLAN
FREE FROM THE EARTHLY TEMPESTION BELOW
I’VE GOT THE WILL, LORD, IF YOU’VE GOT THE TOE

BRING ON THE BROTHERS WHO’VE GONE ON BEFORE
AND ALL OF THE SISTERS WHO’VE KNOCKED AT YOUR DOOR
AND ALL THE DEPARTED DEAR LOVED ONES OF MINE
AND STICK ‘EM UP FRONT IN THE OFFENSIVE LINE

:silly:

[achtung_circus]

14. The Vatican Rag

by Tom Lehrer

[4_Legs_Good]

15. Won't find me practicing what I'm preaching

won't find me making no sacrifice...

Genesis

[TeddyKGB]

16. Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis

http://www.ericschwartz.com

[CO Liberal]

17. "I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes..."

"Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
I can go a hundred miles an hour
Long as I've got the Almight Power
Glued up there by my tachometer."

:-)

[obreaslan]

18. Hymn #43 by Jethro Tull

"Oh father high in heaven -- smile down upon your son
whose busy with his money games -- his women and his gun.
Oh Jesus save me!
And the unsung Western hero killed an Indian or three
and made his name in Hollywood
to set the white man free.
Oh Jesus save me!
If Jesus saves -- well, He'd better save Himself
from the gory glory seekers who use His name in death.
Oh Jesus save me!
I saw him in the city and on the mountains of the moon --
His cross was rather bloody --
He could hardly roll His stone.
Oh Jesus save me!"

[obreaslan]

20. I almost forgot, Jethro Tull's "My God"...

JETHRO TULL - My God Lyrics
People -- what have you done --
locked Him in His golden cage.
Made Him bend to your religion --
Him resurrected from the grave.
He is the god of nothing --
if that's all that you can see.
You are the god of everything --
He's inside you and me.
So lean upon Him gently
and don't call on Him to save you
from your social graces
and the sins you used to waive.
The bloody Church of England --
in chains of history --
requests your earthly presence at
the vicarage for tea.
And the graven image you-know-who --
with His plastic crucifix --
he's got him fixed --
confuses me as to who and where and why --
as to how he gets his kicks.
Confessing to the endless sin --
the endless whining sounds.
You'll be praying till next Thursday to
all the gods that you can count.

[DBoon]

19. Lard - Does God Fill Teeth?

See avatar.

[Richardo]

21. "Holy Smoke" by Mighty Mighty Bosstones

(Bitter, and it ROCKS!)

You made your bed, that’s where you lie
No pearly gates when you die
We tried to teach, you didn’t learn
You’re going down, you’re gonna burn

Fast at passing judgement and your quick to cast a stone
Hypocrite taking shit, leave me alone
Thump the book and twist the word
You’re setting sinners straight
Point your finger, wag your tongue
Then pass around the plate

I’ve made my bed that’s where I’ll lie,
Won’t see the gates when I die
And I’ve been told I’ll never learn,
I’m going down I’m gonna

Screaming demons all hell broke loose
And other dark remarks
You say that’s satan’s waiting for me
But I don’t give a f*ck
If words and music tick you off
Then you’re the one who’s sick
But I think it f*cking followers that really make you tick

As far as I can tell I’m going to hell
As far as I can see, you’re coming with me

You made your bed that’s where you’ll lie
No pearly gates when you die
We tried to teach, you didn’t learn
You’re going down, you’re gonna burn

Holy smoke! is this a joke?
I mean man you’re on the move,
Shut ’em up and shut ’em down
If you don’t approve
Cuss and curse and stuff your purse
And tell me where I’m goin’
Holy cow, man, don’t stop now, man,
Your bank account is growin’

You made you’re bed that’s where you’ll lie
No pearly gates when you die
We tried to teach, you didn’t learn
You’re going down, you’re gonna burn

You made you’re bed that’s where you’ll lie
Thanks God I’ve got a place to sleep
No pearly gates when you die,
Why should I worry now or cry
You know I’m not concerned
You’re going down, you’re gonna burn

[MnFats]

22. There is a John Lee Hooker song...

...it may be called "No Heaven."
in his inimitable style, he croaks out his lyrics about 'ain't goin; noplace when you die.''

it's weird but a ringing endorsement of atheism from a very old bluesman who's gonna find out for sure himself pretty soon. Kinda chilling.

I say this as a lifelong Episcopalian....sorta like Catholics but ..."all the pageantry without the guilt."

[GoddessOfGuinness]

23. Camille West- "Getting Raptured"

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind
should auld acquaintance be forgot
hey everybody, it’s rapture time
I was staring at the clouds from a 747
when I saw that there were thousands
getting sucked up into heaven
and I knew that Armageddon time was nigh
when the Captain said,
"on your right there’s Mother Teresa floating by"
Oh, I could here the passengers behind me start to cheer
when he said, "looks like the whole non-smoking section’s disappeared.
But don’t you fear, even though I’m outta here
you’ve still got the navigator

He’ll stay with the rest of you fornicators and atheists,
insurance salesmen and bigamists,
and certain televangelists and such
and by the way, thanks for flying with us"

Chorus:
Well it’s one of those days
all of my friends are getting raptured
Taken away from their RV’s and their pick-up trucks
by a heavenly Electrolux on super suck
and I’m stuck here in sinners company
Jimmy Swaggart, my mother-in-law and me

Driving home from the airport
the highways were all clear
except for cars with NRA bumper stickers on the rear
I pulled into a burger joint
Gave my order to a sweet blonde who said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
Zoop she was gone
I finally made it home
I couldn’t take it anymore
when I saw my friend the Jehovah’s Witness
who preaches at my door
He was rising higher and higher saying,
"What do you think about that?
Na na na na na...Thupt!
and I heard...splat!

Chorus:
Well it’s one of those days
all of my friends are getting raptured
Taken away from their RV’s and their pick-up trucks
by a heavenly Electrolux on super suck
and I’m stuck here in sinners company
Madonna, my mother-in-law and me

Now’s the time to fear the most
Armageddon’s getting close
When you hear the Holy Ghost
Who you gonna call, Ghostbusters?

I went to see a friend of mine,
the one who drives a Ford
with the little sign on the window
"Holy rolling with the Lord"
well, she hadn’t yet been raptured
and it made her real upset
she’d been counting on not paying her American Express
She sat poised like a debutante
waiting for a date
and when she finally did get raptured she cried
"Jesus you’re late"
Me, well I was staying
I said, "Hey what I do wrong?"
when a voice from up above said,
"You’re the schmuck who wrote this song"

Chorus:
Well it’s one of those days
all of my friends are getting raptured
Taken away from their RV’s and their pick-up trucks
by a heavenly Electrolux on super suck
and I’ mstuck here in sinners company
Rush Limbaugh, my mother-in-law and me
and you sitting there
you missed the rapture too
Happy new year

[Courtesy Flush]

24. Crash Test Dummies: God shuffled his feet n/t

[seaj11]

25. "Jesus Loves You," by Jewel.

"They say that Jesus loves you / What about me?"

[asthmaticeog]

26. I thought "Spirit in the Sky" was sincere.

Though it did always give me a chuckle that such a Jesusy song was performed by someone with SUCH a yid name.

[UdoKier]

28. He's not a Christian, and it's tongue-in-cheek.

Not meant to be a real hard dig at Christianity, just a bit of gentle ribbing to the revivalists, I understand...

He does have an appreciation for gospel music, though, and decided that he wanted to make his own gospel song. Not surprising that it's a bit tongue-in-cheek.

[asthmaticeog]

29. Thanks for clearing that up.

I guess it makes more sense than what I thought did.

[Ian David]

30. Keep your Jesus off my Penis

Keep your Jesus off my Penis

So you’re screaming bloody murder
'Bout the taliban regime
For subjugating women
And being too extreme
And basing legislation
On some ancient holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here's a mirror, have a look

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

[Ian David]

31. Songs from The Beat Farmers

Gun Sale at the Church



Are you Drinking with me Jesus

[bobthedrummer]

32. "Oh, Well" Fleetwood Mac

Other.
"Highway 61 Revisited" Bob Dylan.
"Serve Somebody" Bob Dylan.