All right then, would you respond to this personal ad?

[Longgrain]

http://www.democraticsingles.net/view.php?prfPrfId=26799

Any suggestions on how to improve it?

[Worst Username Ever]

1. It requires registration, you'll need to copy/paste

[Longgrain]

2. I'm not interested in responding to it...

I want to know what people think of it...;)

[Worst Username Ever]

3. It is a blank page.

I can't see it because I am not signed up for democratic singles. You'll need to copy/paste if you want anyone here to be able to view the ad.

[Longgrain]

4. OH! Gulp...

Gotcha.

I'll drop it then.

[intheflow]

5. Why? Copyright issues?

Now you've whet my appetite to see if it's a good/bad/clever/raunchy/funny/sexy ad!

[Longgrain]

6. It's kind of boring...I thought it was way too long

and a bit vain.

[progmom]

7. c'mon longgrain

share with your friends!

[Longgrain]

8. All right give me a second...

[Longgrain]

9. All right here's the text...alongside the obligatory picture of myself.

32 year old Male
Brown Hair

Hazel Eyes

5 ft. 8 in.

Avg Build

Never Married

Some College

MA, US

Religion: Spiritual but not religious

Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)

Zodiac: Cancer

Smokes: Socially

Drinks: Socially

0 Children, 0 at home

Who I am

I'm probally not as much of a political-science, sociological, activist as most you probably are, more of an artist, writer, thinker, but I'm very concerned about what's going on in this country and a life long Dem. I first voted in 1992 for Clinton and have never regretted my choice, but it was the Gore campaign and the aftermath that really tweaked my political eye. Until then I had been mostly an observer of politics, now I'm at least actively awakened.

I'm a bit shy, so it takes me time to get involved, but maybe you can bring out the inner activist in me.

A few things about me personally. I studied painting in college and hoped to pursue a career in art, but the funds dried up and I was forced to settle on a ho-hum job for the time being, but at least I've managed to keep the same job for fifteen years, so that must count for something.

I did however, two years ago, write a novel that I'm very proud of, and have since then finished a long novella and I have a second novel on the way. Northing's been published yet but it's a start.

I'm also hoping to go back to school soon for either film or photography...Yeah I do it all.

And the usual stuff of course, long nature walks, an occasional wild night out, or maybe just quite night at home with the DVD player and a little cuddling...and who knows what else. My sense of humor tends to be on the dry and sarcastic side.

I'm quite diverse and interesting, why not get to know me?




Who I am seeking

I suppose I see myself with a woman from one of two extremes.

On one side, the withdrawn book worm--curious, and perfectly happy just to learn new things. She is a bit of an artist (a poet perhaps), in love with life and the quest for education. She may seem sweet on the outside, but she still knows how to stand up for herself. She's fiercely independent, but she's still looking for a little loving on the side.

On the other hand, I could see myself falling for a roaring activist. A spoil brat who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Loud and brassy and possibly in need of a little taming. She might not have as much class, but she doesn't care. No one tells her what to do.

And the usual stuff.

<snip>to edit out some kinky stuff.

Children are cool; kids are great to have around, and eating, drinking and other habits can be tolerated.

I'll let you be in my book if I can be in yours.

[alittlelark]

10. It sounds good to me! I wouldn't answer it...

due to being married w/2 kids !!! But I might have in my single days.

[Longgrain]

12. Thanks...

This is only the second time I've tried putting a personal ad on the internet...so all feedback is welcome.

[Midlodemocrat]

11. Sounds good to me.

I am married, but in my single days, that would have definitely appealed to me.

good luck.

[Longgrain]

16. Thanks since I know you've complimented me before.

;)

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. You could be MrG except add four inches. So I would say...yes, I'd

answer it. :hi:

[Longgrain]

17. I guess I'm kind of short.

But appearance doesn't mean that much to me.

Thanks for the compliment!

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. No worries. I did not fall in love with MrG based on his height.

:hi:

[intheflow]

15. Where were you when I was single and living in W. Mass. 4 years ago?

(big sigh!)

BTW, if you're interested in photography schools, have you looked into the Hallmark Institute? "10 months to a career in photography" http://hallmark.edu/

They're in Turners Falls, MA. I learned about it when I worked at Spalding World Wide Sports in Chicopee and met the photographer who did all their ad shots. He graduated from there, and now I've met photographers all over the country who graduated from there. It's one of the schools on my "to do" list in my life-long quest to find a meaningful and enjoyable career. (But finishing my M.Div. and then getting a Masters in Non-Profit Mgmt. first. Maybe then I'll finally go to Hallmark.)

[Longgrain]

18. I never heard of the Hallmark school.

I'll have to look into it. I've actually already been accepted to Fitchburg State but wonk be able to attend this semester.

Someone I met went a photography school in Santa Barbra CA, tho I forget the name. It's supposedly the best photography school in the country...But I haven't given up yet! :hi:

[NewJeffCT]

22. even thought it may be true, I'd avoid putting "shy" in the ad

As liberal as many women are out there, it was still hard as a shy guy myself to get dates throughout my 20s and early 30s... 'easygoing' or 'laid back' might be better choices.

[Longgrain]

23. Some good critical advice

Thanks, I was think of editing it but now I'm not sure...I will consider your advice.

[Glenda]

29. Just my 2 pennies...

And you can ignore my suggestion. Start with a shorter paragraph or just a sentence to get their attention. One way would be to switch the 1st 2 paragraphs so it looks like this:

"I'm a bit shy, so it takes me time to get involved, but maybe you can bring out the inner activist in me.

I'm probally not as much of a political-science, sociological, activist as most you probably are, more of an artist, writer, thinker, but I'm very concerned about what's going on in this country and a life long Dem. I first voted in 1992 for Clinton and have never regretted my choice, but it was the Gore campaign and the aftermath that really tweaked my political eye. Until then I had been mostly an observer of politics, now I'm at least actively awakened. "


Of course, I may be only saying that cuz I like shy guys ;)

I like the last sentence about being in each others books.

I wonder what the kinky stuff you snipped out is... Hmmmmm.

[Longgrain]

40. I've already book marked this thread...

I'll probably enhance my ad tomorrow. :hi:

[Glenda]

30. You've had the same job for 15 years?

Wow! HOw do you do it?

[Longgrain]

31. I'm actually ashamed of it

I'd rather be a disgruntled artist...

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. Here's some helpful (I think) edits - took out some of the wishy washy

stuff, and energized it a bit, and took out the self-defeating stuff (like your "I was a dreamer who wanted to be an artist, but gave it up for a boring job I've had for 15 years")

Here it is:

I am more of an artist, writer, and thinker than I am a direct political activist, but I am a life long Democrat who is VERY concerned about what is happening in this country. My first vote was in 1992 for Clinton and I have never regretted my choice. But until the Gore campaign and the aftermath, I had been mostly an observer of politics. That "election" tweaked my political eye, and now I am awakened. I might still not be as much of a political-science, sociological, activist as you probably are, but my inner activist is waiting for you to bring it out.

I'm a bit shy, (say why - because you are a deep thinker? Because you like to be sure before jumping? etc.) so it takes me time to get involved.

I studied painting in college and hoped to pursue a career in art, but for financial reasons I had to go another path, and have worked in the same job for fifteen years. However, I've not given up any of my dreams or visions of a life of art. Two years ago I wrote a novel that I'm very proud of, and since then I have completed a long novella and I am completing my second novel, awaiting a publisher, and am planning to go back to school soon for either film or photography...Yeah I do it all. (I'd suggest one other thing here - if you are planning on going back to school fulltime, and not work any more, that needs to be spelled out; if you are planning on doing this part time, while still working full time, spell that out as well - a potential mate might very well think "Shit, he'd gonna go back to school, be poor, and live in the dorm. I don't want that.")

And I am into some of the usual stuff, of course: long nature walks, an occasional wild night out, as well as quiet snuggly nights at home with the DVD player and a little cuddling...and who knows what else.

My sense of humor tends to be on the dry and sarcastic side. (don't say that your humor is like this, show it in your writing, and then kill this sentence)

I'm quite diverse and interesting (I'd cut that out - you've already made that case, don't say it), why not get to know me?


Who I seek:

I see myself with a woman from one of two extremes.

On one side, the withdrawn book worm--curious and happy to learn new things. She is a bit of an artist (a poet perhaps), in love with life and the quest for education. She may seem sweet on the outside, but she stands up for herself. She's fiercely independent, and finds value in herself just as she is - she doesn't need a man in her life to feel valuable; but she has much love to share for the man who DOES make her feel valuable and precious.

I can also fall for a roaring activist. A spoiled brat who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Loud and brassy and possibly in need of a little taming. She might not have as much class (unclear -as much class as what? You? The woman in the paragraph above? Audrey Hepburn? Roseanne Barr?), but she doesn't care. No one tells her what to do.

And the usual stuff.

<snip>to edit out some kinky stuff.

Children are cool; kids are great to have around, and eating, drinking and other habits can be tolerated. (tolerated is an awful word - find some other way to say it; also, it's not clear what you mean by "other habits" and why are you bothering to tell the woman that 'eating' is tolerable? She has to eat!)

I'll let you be in my book if I can be in yours. (I'm not so keen on this ending line)

[Misunderestimator]

38. One suggestion... if you are really interested in the second type of

woman you describe... you might not appeal to her with the taming line (or the class thing)... ;)

[PassingFair]

42. Looks good, one suggestion though...

Get rid of the "possibly in need of a little taming" line. That would be a deal breaker for me. Wouldn't answer just because of that line. Once you delete that line, get ready to do some dating!

[Madrone]

14. If I were in the habit of looking at / answering person ads...

I would likely answer yours. We were born the same year, voted for the same person in our first presidential election - etc. I also very much resemble this remark:

"the withdrawn book worm--curious, and perfectly happy just to learn new things. She is a bit of an artist (a poet perhaps), in love with life and the quest for education. She may seem sweet on the outside, but she still knows how to stand up for herself. She's fiercely independent, but she's still looking for a little loving on the side."

But... I don't look at personal ads, and am so fiercely independant that I am never, I mean never, in search of a partner. :) When I do have relationships, they always fall into my lap - AFTER being just "regular" friends.

Anyway - you sound a bit like myself in the way you are very scattered. Too many interests, not enough time and energy to put into each of them..etc. I often refer to myself as a "jack of all trades, master of none" ...

Pretty much, I think your ad sounds decent. Good luck! :D

[Longgrain]

19. I have a habit of most being

"Just Friend's" with women, there's nothing with that I guess, In fact my best friend in the world right now is a woman.

I've never really payed much attention to singles ads either, it's just I live in a sparsely populated area, and never seem to met very many serious single women.

Oh well, I guess I'll have to keep looking...maybe someday.

[Madrone]

21. I certainly don't blame you!

And I totally understand why you'd turn to personal ads. I live in Podunk USA as well - so the likelihood of me meeting anyone I'd find interesting is slim to none.

I have actually considered the personal ad thing before - but just can't bring myself to do it. I'm a little too shy? reserved? - *something* to put myself out there like that. I admire your resolve, especially since you're shy.

I figure if I die single that's okay - I LOVE my alone time. Basically, I've finally come to the conclusion that if I meet some one and it works out, great. If I don't, well, that's great too.

Your someday will come - probably when you least expect it. Better to have to wait longer than someone else than to think you've found it early on and be trapped in a miserable marriage. ;)

[Longgrain]

24. I'm beginning to accept the fact that

I might never find anyone, my relationships have been few and far between, but life goes on I guess. I still have my art and my writing.

I just have this strange urdge for a man called "wanting to become a father". I don't know why, it's just always been one of my life goals. :shrug:

The last woman I was seriously interested in was a single mother, never married, who had an infant daughter. It's funny, she just wasn't interested in starting a long term relationship.

Oh well...

[kiraboo]

25. I like it. But correct the typo "northing".

It takes away from your image as a writer ;)

[Longgrain]

26. Gulp, thanks.

I'll fix it as soon as I can. ;-)

(P.S. I'm a horrible typer...)

[Longgrain]

27. Kick...

since I'm still interested in what you all think.

[Kat45]

28. Another thing to fix:

You said something about "a quite night at home" -- I'm assuming you meant to say "quiet"?

If you put the ad in, let us know how you do. I've been thinking about doing a personal ad for a while but I always chicken out, worried about meeting liars (eg married men) or wackos.

Good luck with it.

[SarahB]

32. Yeah.

I don't think I could ever seriously do that. Too many men make judgments based on the exterior crap anyway. Either, you're a regular person and they pass you by or you're cute and they really don't care about what's in your actual mind and soul.

Yes, sum up your entire being in 200 words or less. :eyes:

[Longgrain]

34. Yeah, It's also difficult over the internet

To know weather or not people are real or just putting you on which is why my ad was so long. I wanted to honest and real, hopefully.

[SarahB]

41. It was good.

Sorry if I was being cranky before. :hug:

[Longgrain]

33. Another error.

It was supposed to be quiet. I'll fix it.

Yeah, it took me a lot of guts to put this up, and I was going to take it down but considering all the positive responses I've gotten so far, I think I'll keep it.

[crispini]

36. I'd definitely answer your ad...

if I lived anywhere near you. :P

As a veteran of the internet dating scene, let me add this helpful piece of advice. Meet them sooner rather than later. Sooooo many people are not entirely who they say they are. And even if they ARE entirely who they say they are, it is completely possible to have a nice long enjoyable email correspondence, feel sparkage, and then meet the person and have the whole thing fall completely flat in the first five minutes. There's just something about face to face that is necessary IMO. :shrug: Just my two cents.

Oh, and it works, sort of. Dated one guy for about a year. Another fella that I met online (nice, but I wasn't interested) is now dating (really seriously) my best friend. So it is entirely possible to meet very cool people via an internet personal ad.

Just don't get really invested in it before you meet them.

[Pithlet]

37. I would have answered it

I never actually used personal ads, but if I did, this would definitely have attracted my attention. Good luck :) Let us know how it goes.

[Longgrain]

39. Thanks I'm a bit skeptical about doing this

but sounds like it could be interesting. I'm going to see how it works.