Headlines We'd Like to Read, April 20, 2005

[skip fox]

Bush Drops Load At Lincoln Exhibition




others????

[Zerex71]

1. Change the "Lo" to "De" and that would make my day.

[skip fox]

2. Rove's Portrait Found On Pancake: Diners Ill, Rush to Hospital

Well, a bit long . . .

:toast:

[Arkana]

3. George Bush Chokes On Jeff Gannon

[skip fox]

4. Gannon Lobs Softball: President Strikes Out (Again)

:toast:

[skip fox]

5. Terror Strikes: Rove Eats "Waffer-Thin Cracker"

:toast:

[Ishoutandscream]

6. John Lennon and George Harrison rise from the dead

All four Beatles will begin working on new album.

[HughBeaumont]

7. Pope Benedict XVI Declares War on Humanity; President Bush Applauds

Condoleeza Rice to Lie and Shill For Her Hus-boss Yet Again
John Bolton's Blood Boiling; Dems Laugh Loudly at the Angry Little Mealworm
Jenna Bush Shows up to Press Conference with Powder Mustache
Dick Cheney Found to be a Giant Fat Loathsome Bastard
Grover Norquist Photographed Tango Dancing with Paul Begala
Jeff Gannon Swarmed By "Weak Liberals" he Talked Tough About 2 Weeks Ago
Public Found to Not Care About Being Led to the Deep Black Abyss
Hummer Sales Skyrocket: We're Talking MICROSCOPIC!
Fox News Merges with National Alliance; Renames Itself "Christian Colossus Republic News"

[skip fox]

9. YIKES!!!!!

:toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast:

[Cannikin]

8. Bush Cabinate holds massive 4/20 party in white house basement

[skip fox]

10. Soros Named "Pope for Everyone Else"

:toast:

[BurtWorm]

11. Bolton Drops Nomination, Commits Self So He Can "Run Around Like Madman"

"Looking forward to chasing and throwing papers at the other inmates," he says.

[skip fox]

12. Bolton's Closet Opened: Rubberwear, Dead Farm Animal, Chunky Peanutbutter

yikes!