Headlines We'd Like to Read, April 27, 2005

[skip fox]

Five Species Learn To Attack "Hunter's Orange"



Limbaugh Mistake: "Creationism's Junk Science"



others?????

[GOPBasher]

1. Pope: "Bush is a lying sack of garbage." n/t

[jeff30997]

2. Jeff wins 10 millions to the lottery.

[peekaloo]

3. President complains of burning sensation when he pees after Crown

Prince visit.

[Zuni]

4. Free Choco Tacos and Fried Ice Cream for all Americans! Yay!

:D

[sybylla]

5. Cobb turns Democrat, admits it ain't easy being Green

Rep. Sensenbrenner confused for exploding fat guy in Monty Python movie, British Ambassador issues apology.

Entertainment Tonight ends a two decade run as public disinterest in trash TV grows.

And since we're dissing with a broad brush this morning
Five species find animal activists tasty.

[skip fox]

7. Good "torque" on evey one!

:toast:

[Zuni]

6. Dr. James Dobson found moonlighting as a male stripper

[Arkana]

8. Ann Coulter: "Liberals Are Aight, Yo"

Rush Limbaugh Implodes Under The Pressure Of Massive Ego

Dick Cheney Auctions Off Skidmarked Boxers With Image Of Virgin Mary

Bush: "WTF Am I Doing Here? The Other Guy Won"

[Zuni]

9. Hannity arrested: Meth Lab found in garage, Male Prostitute in basement

[skip fox]

11. and . . . "Industrial Strength Sex Toys Found in Basement"

:toast:

[NewJeffCT]

27. Yes - the Anal Intruder

Anybody get that reference?

[skip fox]

10. Rove Practices Duck-Walk

Paul Harvey Dead Of Paper Cut ("Page Two!")


etc.

:toast:

[Zuni]

12. Monkey's Paw found in Wendy's Chili

[Zuni]

13. Senate Maj. Leader Frist to move to Wis. "For some good 'ol cat killin'".

[Zuni]

14. Falwell admits sodomizing male youth at Liberty University

[BurtWorm]

15. Buffalo stampede was headed to capitol to "beat the shit out of DeLay"

[Zuni]

16. Olson Twins release Hip-Hop album. Want to be taken seriously "like J. Lo"

[Zuni]

17. Buttafuoco back!

[HughBeaumont]

18. Pope Creatine XVI Legalizes Nun Whipping

50% of Dumbericans Now Think Bush Misled them on WMDs; World Groans in Agony

GOP Pushes Floor Vote for Bolton; Rove, Bush, Posing Mack-like on Dais, exclaim "We RUN THIS SHIT N***A, WHAT?"

GOP Senator Grassley Dares Democrats: "Step up N GET SOME BIATCH!"

House Speaker Hastert Willing to Break Rules to Get Fuhrer's Plans in Action

Bush on WWIII Rumors: "False. But All Options are on the table."

Elton John to Marry Partner In Lion King-Themed Ceremony at Wembley

Friendless, BO & Ashtray-Smelling, Coke-Bottle-Bifocaled "Hitchhiker" Nerds Riot with Costume-Wearing, Parent's-Basement-Dwelling, Never-Kissed-Anything-But-A-Bert-Muppet "Star Wars" Geeks in Box Office Line

[Zuni]

19. Vatican now selling souvenir papal headgear

The 'just chillin'' model

[skip fox]

20. Beatutiful ones!!!

Bush: "History is behind us."

[Zuni]

22. Bush---"Public Education no longer needed for freedom."

[skip fox]

26. Exact quote: "We need SUV's for freedom, not no books."

:toast:

[skip fox]

21. Congress Passes Two Week DU Holiday!

:toast:

[NewJeffCT]

23. O'Reilly...

Bill O'Reilly Flip-Flops, Confesses to Being a Rampant Harrasser
subheadline: Hopes to Head off Explosive New Video, Promising to Get Counseling

Prosecutors Uncover Mountain of Evidence Implicating Limbaugh
subheadline: Dozens of Cell Phone Calls Indicate Doctor Shopping

Clear Channel Posts $4 Billion Net Loss for 2004
(for real!)

Frist and Dobson Caught in Lover's Spat over Ralph Reed
subheadline: Dozens Watch Slap-Fest in Posh DC Restaurant

Air America Ratings Through the Roof
subheadline: Network Plans to Add at Least 50 New Stations in 2005

Wal-Mart to Allow Workers to Unionize
subheadline: Promises to Raise Wages, Provide Health Insurance

[skip fox]

24. I hereby declare that today's posting on this thread were

the most inventive, intelligent, and funny on the web!!!

[Zuni]

25. it was pretty darn funny

[Hugin]

28. USSC says mistake made on 2000 vote ruling.

Judgment actually called for 4 year term to be broken into 2 year
terms for Bush and Gore.

All Bush Administration Decisions from January 2003 on declared
null and void.

Haliburton asked to return money.

[methinks2]

29. Huge bolt of lightning

strikes Washington DC during prayer breakfast. . . snicker giggle :dem:

[Zuni]

30. Jennifer Aniston turns to Courtney Cox for hot girl on girl action