What if I told a man that if

[yvr girl]

we got married, we'd have to have sex as much as possible or it would be over? Oh, and I'd insist on a bad-ass TV perfect for watching sports and the ultimate bar. Would that go over?

[datasuspect]

1. i'd probably fire you on the spot

[yvr girl]

13. I would never do this at work

[datasuspect]

14. "you're fired"

is what i say when i break up with someone.

usually in an email.

[WI_DEM]

23. you break up with people in an e-mail?

[datasuspect]

30. yeah, i'm a real asshole

just kidding. actually i'm a reclusive shut-in who speaks fluent klingon and lives to live to post on the internet.

i like fried greasy foods, pizza, ho-hoes and have an extensive pornography collection that involves photoshopped images of 7 of 9 from star trek.

and girls have cooties. but if Mother ever let me out of the basement and i found a girlfriend, i would fire her. probably in klingon.

[maddiejoan]

41. will you marry me?

:::shrug:::worth a shot.

[datasuspect]

45. dunno

do you have a basement or at least an apartment that has minimal light?

i need ashtrays too. lots of them.

send me a bus ticket and some mcdonalds vouchers and we can discuss this. in klingon.

there's a place on the turnpike that could accomodate our klingon wedding ceremony too.

oh and i hate working, so be prepared.

[maddiejoan]

54. Can't we just live in your Mom's basement?

Ashtrays? Are you nuts? Use your empty beer can!
You just stay where you are, I'll just beam over, and you can ask the replicator to supersize your fries.

You don't have to work, we'll both go on disability -- BUT--

we're having a Romulan wedding or NO DEAL.

[datasuspect]

55. Mother thinks girls are "dirty"

but it has to be a klingon wedding or nothing.

although we could compromise and go vulcan.

and i am already on disability.

[maddiejoan]

58. ask her how she feels about transsexuals

and Vulcan is fine.

[datasuspect]

60. that is fine by me

and since we won't be leaving the house much, i think that would probably work.

we can make lots of "art" photos hopefully.

[maddiejoan]

64. great! Can't wait to tell my Paw!

[datasuspect]

65. i think we're related

that looks like one of my kinfolk

[Droopy]

2. Will you marry me?

[yvr girl]

40. If I said yes,

you'd run.

[Droopy]

49. I guess that's a possibility

I do have commitment issues. But if I were going to get all the sex I could handle, a nice tv with sports on it 24/7 and a cool bar I would be very tempted. ;)

[yvr girl]

50. I'm all about making people feel comfortable

[caty]

3. I have a brother-in-law I'd like you to meet.

[yvr girl]

42. I've never been on a blind date

But, heck. Why not a blind marriage?

[flakey_foont]

4. Have to give it some thought

uh, yes! It would go over

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. LOLOLOL! I suspect that the line of guys wanting to marry you

would encircle your block! Don't do it, yvr girl! Hold out for the PERFECT guy, my dear!

[yvr girl]

16. PERFECT guy

I don't have that much time left.

[DS1]

6. What kind of sex?

Would be my first question

[yvr girl]

9. There could be a menu of sort

[DS1]

12. Okay

[evlbstrd]

7. My divorce is nearly final...

[yvr girl]

22. So I gather I wasn't describing your marriage?

[evlbstrd]

25. Not exactly.

All that's missing are the constant sex, the bar and the TV.

[aeolian]

8. You'd get everything you wanted.

Maybe more. :)

[seemunkee]

10. as much for whom?

[yvr girl]

24. Well for him of course

I wouldn't want to be demanding.

[seemunkee]

31. OK, I'm now one of your groupies

[yvr girl]

46. I have groupies?

Cool.

[Hugin]

11. I'd think the car of his dreams would put you over the top.

What do I know?

[matcom]

15. what brand of TV?

[yvr girl]

17. It would need to be a flat screen I think

He could choose the best brand.

[matcom]

20. would i get picture in picture?

its important

[yvr girl]

26. You'd get whatever you wanted

It would be ALL about you.

[matcom]

27. universal remote?

i'm in. when we getting hitched

[yvr girl]

29. Absolutely

The weather is great here this week. How does Friday work?

[matcom]

33. i'm good anytime after 1pm

i'll bring the scotch

[yvr girl]

38. It's a date

or a wedding or something.

[matcom]

39. i don't care what you call it.

as long as we fuck like bunnies and there is a good game on!

[yvr girl]

44. At the game?

I like the danger element.

[matcom]

48. if you want to haul my new tv to the game

go right ahead!

[yvr girl]

51. I was hoping we could 'watch a game' more than once

One live, one on TV.

What whatever you think, schmoopie. :loveya:

[matcom]

56. we'll need a built in VCR then

i REALLY wish you had told me about this ahead of time

[yvr girl]

61. Honey, I've got one. No worries.

Do you want a long massage to help you relax?

[matcom]

62. no thanks

i like to relax during the Bud Light commercials

[yvr girl]

63. I was hoping to touch your ass

It's been SO long.

I'll try to hold back the tears...

Can I at least rub your feet?

[matcom]

70. ok ok. you can rub my ass

but quietly

[jobycom]

18. I'd dump you for someone who read Tracy Chevalier in bed

But I'm weird. I get mad at my wife for watching kuung-fu movies.

[JVS]

19. Just tell me where the wedding is, I'm ready to settle down.

[yvr girl]

53. So the idea works for you?

[JVS]

57. yup

[MrSlayer]

21. I think you'd find most men amenable to the idea.

Throw in a beer meister and you are the perfect catch.

[mermaid]

28. How About This??

No sex. Big TV. Don't mind sports. Occasional cuddling. Deep philosophical/political discussions.

That's all I want from a man. They can keep the sex. I don't really want it. Far as I'm concerned, God gave men two arms that could reach for a reason.

ON EDIT: For that matter, God gave women two arms that could reach for a reason, too. And, of course, WE have battery-operated devices far superior to any man, ever.

[yvr girl]

36. NO sex?

And only occasional cuddling? I wouldn't like that.

I like the deep philosophical/political discussions too, but there must silliness too. I need to laugh.

[mermaid]

75. Well

I have never found a man who could be gentle enough to do it without hurting me. I'm rather dry and also somewhat shallow and narrow, if you catch my drift. Being a girl, I think you understand what I mean.

anyway, never found a guy who would be able to do it without hurting me, and so I'm not real interested in sex. I'm not a masochist.

I'm all for silliness.

And I'm far more into romance than sex.

And, anyways, as I said, God gave us all two arms that could reach for a reason. I know what I like...most men don't know or care to know what I like...they care only for themselves.

[yvr girl]

76. You're not meeting the right men

And they aren't taking enough time.

You deserve better.

[Goldmund]

32. Would the sex have to be with only you?

[mermaid]

34. PIG!!

Typical male response.

Sheesh, why are all men such pigs?

[Goldmund]

35. Can you be quiet? I'm trying to watch TV.

[matcom]

37. is coed spring break on?

i LOVE that show!

[mark414]

43. i knew there was something special about you

:loveya:

[HEyHEY]

47. I'd ask you how you intend to pay for the TV

[pdx_prog]

52. What would be the fun in that?

Lot's of sex is only good when it is GOOD SEX......and TV is only good when it is turned off....or used for watching a good movie.

I have an advantage I am afraid. I have a friend that is a couple's therapist, and she rocks big time...:)

Successful marriages are actually pretty easy. You just have to listen, understand, stop being selfish, and don't be an ass..:).

Never quit learning either...:)

[hfojvt]

59. I am not that much into sports, and I do not drink

However, it probably takes copious quantities of alcohol for me to seem sexy.
As far as the sex goes, I am not 25 anymore. So "as much as possible" is not "five times a day" anymore, probably ten times a week, tops. Then again, that may depend on the stimulation.
The "or it would be over" ultimatum does not sound like a solid commitment of "for better, or for worse, in sickness and in health". I always try to go along, so "you can put me on some island, in the middle of the sea, Or lock me in a prison, with no chance of ever being free. Or run a dagger through my heart. Stand back and watch me bleed. Or baby you can leave, it's all the same to me."

[BiggJawn]

66. Darling!!!

How you gonna have TIME to watch that bad-assed TV? you planning on having it in the bedroom?

[yvr girl]

67. Wouldn't the TV be for

recovery time?

[BiggJawn]

68. No

it disturbs me while I'm napping...

[yvr girl]

69. Whatever works

[BiggJawn]

71. Heh-heh...

:D

[Parche]

72. what

So when do we get married!!! haha

[Kire]

73. if it did

you'd be within your rights to break that promise

there's a sucker born every minute

[SarahB]

74. LOL!

:thumbsup:

[warrens]

77. Well, it has to be a certain kind of sex

I can catch up on scores on the internet.

[Kevin Spidel]

78. i would propose in two seconds! n/t