Describe your weirdest coworker?

[Cathyclysmic]

any good stories?...we have one, but I can't think of any really short stories...she is just wacky in the needs medication way.

[MemphisTiger]

1. Milton from Office space

is my wierd co-worker

[Shell Beau]

2. Where would I even begin?

[Cathyclysmic]

11. that's how I feel

one of my bosses calls our office Peyton Place

[Divameow77]

3. I don't know about weirdest

but I do have the biggest ASS of a co-worker.

Actually I had a co-worker that was just let go and he was pretty weird. I know he was a republican too. He always used to tease me about being the company liberal, Damn Right!

[pdx_prog]

4. That's easy....

There is a draftsman in our office (in cube behind me) that is a cross dresser. He is about 55....looks like Barney Fife, shaves his arms, wears panty hose and draws his eyebrows on....:)

[Throckmorton]

5. Jim, the Carpet Inspector

He just walks around the place half the day, looking down at the floor.

He also talks to the coffee maker.

But as he is a fictional character from my next book, I decline to give his last name.

[tedoll78]

6. A friend & I were probably the wackiest.

We were data transcribers at a certain govt agency here in Austin, so we just typed and talked for our entire shifts. The work got monotanous, so we began creating wacky fictional characters and imaginary corporate entities. Eventually, pretty much the entire unit was in on the creative fun. I'm surprised we didn't get in trouble for some of the stuff we did..

We invented a religion with Wilford Brimley as the "god" - we were the Acolytes of Brimley. There were Brimley "prayer readings" in our unit, along with religious pictures of him. We also recited the Liberty Medical guarantees.. "no forms to fill-out" .. "delivered right to your door" .. and the BIGGIE, "it'll help ya live a better life!"

Tommy stops to genuflect at the Brimley picture in his office

An example.. we wanted to create a fast food restaurant called WeinerCheese, where customers could get phallic food with a pipin' hot cheese of their choice dripped all over it. Delicious, eh?

We also began work on a movie script about a clown with a colostomy bag.. it's a sick, sick tale..

That, and I had a blown-up photo of the women & men of the HoveRound website on my desk. I called them the "HoveRound Hotties." Woof! (I'm 26 years old, BTW, so that's quite an age gap.) (I wanna dress as the HoveRound Lady for Halloween this year & rent one of the vehicles from a medical supply place - "now I'm free to see the world!!!")

Those were some good times. But they're over. Graduation is in 9 days, and now I move to the exciting world of radiography! Yay!

[Samurai_Writer]

7. Too many to count...

but the one who really bothers me, I'll call, "Frank". Frank is a 65 year old, divorced, diabetic (and probably impotent) man who works for me. For the entire time I've worked here, he has never had a conversation with me without looking at my breasts. He recently divorced, and before the ink was dry, he had a 'lady boarder' staying at his house. Well, turns out this 'boarder' is his 24/7 BDSM slave, and they are both telling people outside of work they are married... but at work, she's still 'only his boarder'. How do I know this? A friend of mine, who is big into the BDSM lifestyle, met "Frank" and his "wife" one day. When "Frank" found out this guy knew me, he launched a barrage of questions at him about ME, his BOSS. Like, if I was a submissive, if I 'played', would I be willing to go to parties with them, etc. My friend said that he wasn't going to discuss anything about me to Frank, as it would be inappropriate. However, "Frank" still questions my friend about me and my personal life whenever my friend bumps into him. Doesn't matter where it is... grocery store, mall, gas station... it's like "Frank" is stalking my friend just to continue asking those questions about me.

I have a female friend at work, and he has asked her these same types of questions. What is really funny, is that the day after "Frank" had one of his 'parties', he calls into work. He dislocated and chipped his shoulder 'falling off a ladder'. Yeah right. So he's been in an arm sling for the past month. I think of it as poetic justice. Old, sick, out of shape man can't even use a whip without seriously injuring himself. My female friend and I have been speculating if he was the one being whipped or the one doing the whipping, though. We both think he's too wimpy to be a dominant. LOL

[Cathyclysmic]

13. that's funny

creepy, yet funny...an old dom:scared:

[Darth_Kitten]

8. Just underhanded, jealous, vicious ones

I no longer think them wacky, just sociopathic. Seriously. :(

[dbonds]

9. We have a RW nut who aspires to be a preacher.

He has a wooden cross on a stand on his desk. He is trying to get a show on radio where he does a RW talk show. But he also trashes people and cusses all the time (note the preacher part). He also is obsessed with learning to be a poker gambler (we live in vegas). All day long I hear him talking about poker techniques, or the latest RW talking points with a jesus spin.

[Left_Winger]

We had a teacher at my school who was like that (no gambling or swearing)

Instead of teaching geometry as he was supposed to do, he preached to the students and handed out pocket-sized bibles; and by the way he did not have a degree from any seminary. His reputation became so well known that there was an article written about him in the newspaper. To make a long story short, both he and the principal, who allowed this, were forced to resign.

[Left_Winger]

10. There are so many...

where would you like to start?

[catzies]

12. Well, I can't 'cause it's me. I'm the weirdest.

I question authority, don't play well with others, have toys and cartoons on my desk instead of a sterile atmosphere, don't eat microwave popcorn, don't go out to lunch, don't spend the first 1/2 hour of each day chatting about what I saw on reality shows last night, and don't treat my co-workers like they're my friends. I don't socialize with anyone & don't go their their showers/weddings.

I should fire me. :D

[MercutioATC]

23. Try working in a building with 470 people who don't work and play well

with others (air traffic controllers).

The two pervasive character traits at work are lightning-fast decision making and assertiveness. Great skills for air traffic controllers, but not conducive to a mellow environment.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

25. Is it at all like "Pushing Tin"?

I know a few controllers -- they're pretty intense.

[MercutioATC]

32. Actually, they got the personalities right.

Competing to see who can work more planes is a complete fabrication, but the characters were dead on. (They did have a controller working as an advisor).

[tigereye]

36. one place I worked

I tended to avoid the lunchroom since it was all TV show talk, all the time. Just made me feel like people were stuck in a weird time warp. This was before "Reality" shows. One time I heard some coworkers having what sounded like an interesting conversation about interesting people they knew, sexuality and the like. But it was just more TV/soap opera talk. That is why my good friend and I ALWAYS went out to lunch together - our conversations involved philosophy, politics, art, etc.

[Initech]

14. Not mine, but...

My dad once had a receptionist who watered fake plants. And did not know they were fake.

[mnmoderatedem]

15. A few jobs ago

There was a guy from the Sudan with a God complex. He told a friend of mine at work, actually DEMANDED, that he turn over some software he had purchased over to him so he could load it on his computer. (he seemed to think he could demand anything from anybody). My friend refused and informed him that since he had not yet expensed it, it belonged to him and not the company. The guy told him he would use his "superior Sudanese intelligence" in order to get the software from him. After that was unsuccessful, he actually challanged him to step outside and get into a fistfight in the middle of the workday (I'm not making this up). Some time later, he was fired for repeatedly following (stalking) a female security guard out to her car in the evening. She eventually was scared enough to quit over his attempts.

The guy was nutso.

[TrogL]

16. My partner had one who talked to the coffee machine

and it talked back. She would have long intimate conversations with it until they had a big fight and broke up.

I wish I was making this up.

[Initech]

19. I think that one wins!

I'm seriously about ready to fall off my chair laughing at that one!

[WeRQ4U]

17. One guy got kicked in the head by a farm animal

He now has periods of incoherence. He is awefully strange and has problems with impulse control.

[Susang]

18. I work in a Harley Davidson dealership

How much time ya got? :shrug:

[Cathyclysmic]

28. I can only imagine

at least your days are not boring

[Beware the Beast Man]

20. It was before my time there, but at my old job

there was a guy who would count the holes in the ceiling tile during his breaks, and he always used company time to phone in radio contest entries. All in all, he was a decent guy, though, just a little off.

[Rambis]

21. "I couldn't fuckin believe that"

I worked construction with a guy that said that 267 times in one day. I quit and went back to school thank god.

[tjwash]

22. They are all so freakin' strange.

I'm the only normal one in the office.:eyes:

[KurtNYC]

24. Boss with narcolepsy

He would fall asleep every 15 seconds or so. We would have one-on-one meetings where I would tell him what I was working on . I would talk while he slipped in and out of consciousness. At the end of the meeting he would ask me to put what I had told him in a Powerpoint presentation and email it to him. I wish I was making this up.

[miss_kitty]

26. One of the weirdest

was this (white) fundie gal who would start stories about her activities with "My black friend and I..." "My oriental friend and I..." "My Honduran husband..." and also said "My husband doesn't look Honduran at all, so I don't feel like I'm in a mixed marriage" and "I don't believe same sex couples should exist." Our supervisor was black and the owner of the company was a lesbian. She also went on at great length about "Dr. Laura this" and "Dr. Laura that." And even thought she went to church all the time, she wanted me dead, by her own hand-bashing my head on the cement floor of the place we worked in. Nice :eyes:

[drumwolf]

27. Working at Tower Records, I've met quite a few.

There was one guy whom I'll call Rob, who was pretty much homeless (he was living in residential hotels when he could afford it) and whom we all suspected was a drug casualty. He looked like a homeless street person, and he wasn't the most mentally stable person. He actually had been a DJ and the manager of a record store years back, and we speculate that he probably fell victim to drug problems. He eventually got fired for sexually harassing a female coworker.

Then there was Jana, a middle-aged Czech woman who had been a concert pianist ten years before. She lasted four days before being fired for showing up to work completely drunk out of her mind. Her English was still incredibly poor for having been in America for as long as she had been, and she could barely learn how to operate a cash register.

[progmom]

29. she's about 5'11"

long brown hair
green eyes
glasses
wearing black pants and a black shirt...


oh wait...
that's me.

[Cathyclysmic]

35. err, Progmom, I'm talking weird....

as in give you the willies weird, not unique and have a online fan club weird. So, you don't qualify x( ...sorry.

[Nikia]

30. They are all weird, dysfunctional people

Which is why I need to leave. The fact that 75% of them are alcoholics might have something to do with that.

[Dukkha]

31. maybe it's the quiet disgruntled one, slow-cooking his rage

and this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap one day, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers

This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.

[skygazer]

33. They're all weird

You have to be weird to work at my store. So I'm not sure who the weirdest would be. We have one guy who has worked for the company for 35 years and still doesn't know how to do the simplest procedure. He asks the most amazingly inappropriate questions of the customers - example: the other day a lady came through his line and was buying a home pregnancy test. He says brightly, "so you think you might be pregnant?"

Now probably that's the case but you just DON'T say things like that to customers (if it had been a guy with a box of condoms, he probably would have asked if he was going to get lucky). The woman was offended and complained to the manager. But the guy just doesn't get it.

[Saphire]

34. the latest one is a man who's wife up and left him for no reason

what so ever...according to him. Now, the ink is drying on his divorce papers, and whinning that he will never find anybody to share his life with...He goes around to Wal-mart and Lowes trying to pick up women, and recently Lowes security threw him out..for bothering the female employees..He want a wife, and he wants one NOW!
And like some other wierdo's listed here, he tells me all of this while staring at my boobs!!!!! He's pretty creepy.


other than that, I worked overnight at a Target store for 3 years...to many passed thru there to remember.

[yellowdogintexas]

37. I once worked with a woman who smuggled toilet paper rolls

home from the ladies restroom.

At this same office was a woman who told us all she had pet birds that she never kept in the cages, and that she mopped her floor once a month whether it needed it or not. Needless to say, when we had pot luck lunches, we all made sure we knew what she brought so we could be sure we did NOT eat any of it.

And the woman who sat at the desk across from mine and and sang hymns all day (she dropped religious literature on people's desks too).