Rabrrrrrr spoiler alert

[Rabrrrrrr]

WillPitt kills me at Matcom's house with a LEGO mockup of a super star destroyer. DS1, SOteric, and Bouncy Ball are present, but don't bother to help and instead spend the 35 minutes of my slaying laughing their asses off and slamming tequila and drano shooters as my blood drenches their clothes. Yvr Girl prods me with a hot fireplace poker screaming bon mots about Frida Kahlo and bison, and jimmyjazz unloads magazine after magazine of .44magnum rounds into my head. Progmom tries to help, but slips, and lands on me, severing my spinal column, allowing me to experience the panic of complete paralyzation a full six minutes before WillPitt's heinous LEGO-based smashing does it final dirty job and I expire. My body is hauled into Jersey, where it is left to rot in disgrace on its unhallowed ground. At night, rabid weasels eat what's left, and Skinner erases every post made by me, every mention of me on DU, and any post that alludes to anything that I wrote, and DU's collective conscious forgets me utterly.

[progmom]

1. i sever your spinal column?

:cry:

[JimmyJazz]

3. Piffle - I'm apparently throwing copies

of Harpers, Progressive and the New Yorker at his head :silly:

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. Actually, I think they're "Jugs", "Mandate" and old issues of Cosmo

[DS1]

2. So, does WillPitt impale you with his LEGO Super Star Destroyer

perhaps against the side of matcom's house?

But more importantly, would you want it any other way? SOteric sends her regards, and wishes you a happy afterlife, that's what I could make out through the gut-busting laughter anyway.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. I think so, while the DU elite clique urinate on me

and throw cornflake coated chickens at me.

[DS1]

7. mmm, chicken fried rabrrrrrr - and people said nothing of any

value came out of the South

[A HERETIC I AM]

21. Cornflake coated chicken throwing is a lost art

hmmmmmmm



I detect a pattern here

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. Lots of lost arts

Including cowboy out in the pasture shooting.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

5. Dude, take a Zanax, go to bed and stop reading

books about the martyrs late at night, okay?

I am seiously concerned now.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Nah, I don't take any drugs. Make me unstable, and fuck with my mind.

Don't trust them.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

20. Well at least quit reading "Lives of the Saints"

or "Jesus Freaks"

or any other torture books for a while, huh?

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. Well, shit, I don't read those. My mind is busy and filled with visions

enough already!

[Droopy]

8. Until one day

Droopy says, "Hey. Whatever happened to that Rabrrrrrr fella?" After which FBI agents who have been monitoring the site since its inception open up a full investigation into the disappearance of Rabrrrrrr.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. and end up hauling Droopy away, after they realize that the complete

coverup of Rabrrrrrr's existence was for the good of the universe, and anyone who brings him up gets executed.

[Droopy]

10. LOL!

[DS1]

12. That's rather sensible, you don't expect the FBI to find the search

function do you?

Some time in the not-so-distant future

Is there a search function on this board? | The F.B.I. | 0 Replies

[Pharlo]

13. Sounds like

Rabrrrrrrgate.

If anyone from the outside comes looking for you, we will all deny you ever existed. And when The Outsiders insist, and bring proof that you once existed, we shall continue to deny it.

And divert their attention with SCOTUS decisions, POTUS and bicycle meet ground/car/pole/other stationary item, simultaneous rumors of draft and US troop withdrawl, latest natural disaster, latest celebrity scandal, continuing saga of suedo/faux Christianity....

...Skinner and WillPitt can consult criminal lawyers, all others mentioned can make profers with the GJ or go to prison....

And those from ANOTHER BOARD can do an impression of Moran Holmes (Sherlock's great grandson) and deduce what happened to you...

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. As long as Ron Howard directs the film and casts Tom Cruise as me,

with sets by Thomas Kinkade, I'll be happy in Heaven.

[Pharlo]

15. You can have your casting requests ONLY if

Jim Carrey as Fireman Bill does cameos as POTUS on bicycle.

[DS1]

16. I thought you'd want Speilberg to direct

R.A.B.R.R.R.R.R.R.

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. ROTFL!!

I want Spielberg to come in and finish it after Ron Howard dies of a heart attack while nailing a 12 year old nephew.

[DS1]

18. Would that be called a Tap Smear?

*groan*

[In_The_Wind]

19. DU has a collective conscious ?

[RandomKoolzip]

24. Can you mock up a flow chart for us?

This is waaaay hard to follow, human.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. I do wish you'd listen, Wymer. It's perfectly simple.

If you're not getting your hair cut, you don't have to move your brother's clothes down to the lower peg. You simply collect his note before lunch, after you've done your scripture prep, when you've written your letter home, before rest, move your own clothes onto the lower peg, greet the visitors, and report to Mr. Viney that you've had your chit signed.

[hfojvt]

25. oh well, down the memory hole

It's nice to know how the story ends. But I still think we should keep the post where he says that the Red Sox suck at the beginning of last year's baseball season.

So I copied it onto a floppy and sent it to sports writers at the Boston Globe and the Hartford Times, and they will open it upon learning of his demise. That will establish motive.

[Rabrrrrrr]

26. LOL!

Yeah, I was proven wrong last year!

But this year: "The Red Sox Suck!!!!"

Nyah.

[matcom]

28. you aren't going to ruin my carpeting with all this are you?

x(

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. It's gonna be totally trashed. Even worse than after GOPisEvil is there.

Bwuhahahahahahaha!!

But, your new washing machine will take care of it.

Assuming your house survives the conflagration.