Who has an ex that they can't get out of their head????

[catmandu57]

I've got the queen bitch of all ex's, twenty three years ago she ripped my head of defacated down my wind pipe and laughed all the while.
The bad thing is I said thank you, and for years would have crawled over broken glass to get back with this evil thing. So, I guess the question is is this person going to live in my head and heart forever? How in the hell does one get over something that happened so damn long ago? by the way FYG.

[TrogL]

1. My first wife, killed in a car accident

1983

[Bunny]

3. Gosh TrogL I'm so sorry.

I hope you've reached a degree of peace and happiness with the current Mrs. TrogL.

[TrogL]

10. It's Mr.

and I don't know.

[catmandu57]

12. That's hard

no chance to say goodbye.

[eileen_d]

2. Ugh - I do

I was just reminded of him yesterday, I was surfing some tech company web sites near my town, looking for jobs, and found a bio of his wife. I seriously went to bed crying and the whole thing was ten years ago. I don't know what it's going to take to extract that MF from my psyche. I guess "living well is the best revenge" might be my only option for now...

[soleft]

4. ok. Here's a little theory of mine

Actually, it's not mine. When we're kids, very young, we get messages from our parents and other significant people that there are aspects of ourselves they find threatening. For an example, maybe someone's mom feels threatened by anger, so a little kid will bury his anger in order to protect his mom.

Could be any quality, creativity, sense of humor, sexuality, intelligence. This creates kind of a hole, a disowned part of ourselves.

When we grow up and see someone with the quality or qualities that are missing in ourselves - BAM - that's the person we fall in love with. If the hole is really deep - sometimes people get obsessed with others because it's the only way they can ever feel whole.

So - you might want to look at this person and see what quality it is that she possesses that's hooked you in - and then work on 1) reclaiming that quality for yourself 2) realizing you can find it in others.

[TEXASYANKEE]

13. That explains a lot.

And certainly explains why a guy I seriously dated in the mid-80s is still living in my fantasies. It's better for us both if he just stays in my head, though. Reality is never as good.

[pink_poodle]

16. That makes sense. How to break they cycle though. I can.........

see some traits in the "ex" that "mommy dearest" had. sheesh!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

24. Very perceptive, soleft

Once when I was old enough to know better, I got a mad, intense crush on someone who was unavailable, as in gay. Once I was over it, I realized that despite his charming personality, what I was really attracted to was the fact that he had made a steady, although meagre living as a free-lancer in the local arts scene (music and theater) for nearly thirty years.

It was at a point where I was itching to leave academia and become a free-lance translator and have more time for my own artistic inclinations.

It wasn't really him I was attracted to. It was his freedom.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

5. I can get her out of my head ok

getting her out of my answer machine is another story.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. Heeeheeeheeeheee...that's funny.

I needed a laugh. Get a new number nsma. :)

[WeirdSceneGoldmine]

29. Questioning the answer machine

My answer machine is feelin' lonely and blue
Cause it ain't seen a message in an hour or two
And my fax machine has tears in its eyes
Cause there ain't no words burnin' through its wires
Is it something I did
Is it something I said
Is it something I sang
Or is it something you read
Come clean with me or else instead
I'm gonna wash my hands of you
Hey like Elvis said, "We're goin' seperate ways"
I'm gonna wash my hands of you

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

34. Um...do I know you?

kinda weird response there.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

6. I had one that was, and still is, I think, a missing person.

That's messy.

[THUNDER HANDS]

7. me

I have three of them. All I miss for different reasons. Just different ways you connect with people, I guess.

[Wickerman]

9. Used to

but it has a a happy ending. After 17 years of wondering what went wrong I looked her up, we met, we married, we're happy.

[sistersofmercy]

33. WOW! Good for you!

[Another Bill C.]

11. A couple of them.

My first wife died in 1970, my second in 1984. They were the best friends I ever had. As I get older, I think about them more and more.

[pink_poodle]

14. It's not just wives. Ex-husbands can do it too. I agree..........

that you never get over the pain. It's excruciating.

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. I did....so I married him. True story

We broke up when we were 19, basically because he treated me to well. I was looking for more of the long hair, rock and roll, dangerous type. So I went out with several of those types, always finding myself comparing them to my sweet, well mannered, clean cut ex-boyfriend. Luckily for me, at 23, and a couple of hard knocks later...I ran into him at a party, and we couldn't keep apart. This man took me back after all the crappy things I had done to him. We've been together for over 10 years, and even with the bad times, I am forever grateful for my MrGrumpy. :)

[sistersofmercy]

32. Awwwwww! What a wonderful story! That's for sharing. n/t

[Catfish]

17. Nope

Maybe I'm cold hearted but I don't miss any ex (there aren't very many of them). I figure there's a good reason we split and it's best to move on. I'm going through a legal battle over property now with an ex and I figure once that's over, we'll never have to think of each other again. I can tell you that the memories of life with him make me happy to live alone now. We both should have much better lives now and that's the good that comes from breaking up.

[sam sarrha]

find a meditation teacher and learn to meditate, it trains the mind to not

hang on or grasp the constant flow of thoughts thru the conventional mind. I quit drinking after 30 years of alcoholism in a couple of weeks mediating and lost 35 or 40 pounds letting go of thoughts/impulses to randomly eat or drink. It is the easiest thing you can do...doing nothing for a few minutes a day...Ha Ha not so easy as it sounds..but worth the effort. you can usually find a meditation teacher a yoga center... or Dharma center. there is also some good info at www.buddhanet.net ...even a little video. but meditation is not a purely a Buddhist practace..it was around long before Buddhism. it is simply a method of training the mind. something ALL freepers need double shots of. teaches you how not to be a victim of your emotions.

[sam sarrha]

18. Duplicate

[Chef]

19. Evil

If yours was as evil as mine was you will never get her out of your head (the sex was sooo good for me ((and others as well)). After twenty years, I still feel the pain, but I know if we had stayed together, my rage would have got the best of me. In the long run, you are better off. My goal is to live long enough to piss on her grave.

[sam sarrha]

21. bad Karma... you 2 will be reborn together till you resolve the negativity

for me that was the scariest thing i ever conceived of ...i did some seminars and got thru it. what you take into the next life is your Bad stuff... the good things you do here "now" eliminates the bad stuff bit by bit..start being positive..work work work ...

[Exultant Democracy]

55. that is one scary ideal.

I'm going to have to forget that one quick before I get nightmares.

[catmandu57]

22. I agree totally

I'm so much better off now, life would be so much better to get rid of this junk rattling around my brain.

[catmandu57]

23. I agree totally

I'm so much better off now, life would be so much better to get rid of this junk rattling around my brain.

[geniph]

20. No, I've stayed friends with most of my ex's

but split up with them for good reason. The ones I'm not in touch with anymore pretty much never cross my mind. When I'm done with someone, I'm done. Over. Finito.

[never cry wolf]

25. Definitely, got one...

First dated her junior year in high school, saw each other off and on for the next 7 years. I took a year of college in europe and she married. The summer I got back I was invited over for her nightly volleyball parties, got asked to stay late once and had the best sex of my life. (her hubby was a druggie, abuser and worked night shift.) This went on for about a month or so until she got a "boyfriend" at work and I was out. I figured that was the final straw but I never forgot her and never could.

Turns out she divorced (I refused to fill out the annulment forms) and married the boyfriend, who is an alcoholic and mental abuser. She was abused as a child and was drawn to assholes. I lost touch for 22 years but still could never forget. I found her on line almost 2 years ago now, she has matured and is my best friend. Both our marriages suck but we also both have stuck in them for our kids. No concrete future plans but we both agree we will be friends at least for ever, that our lives are fated to be entwined. I would crawl through broken glass to marry her.

[RetroLounge]

26. Used to be my ex-wife lived in my head rent free

and for 4 years after the divorce I had this little fantasy that we would someday get together again and all would work out.

Well, she called me one day out of the blue, we talked for hours, got together, dated a few times, and I remembered why we had divorced. The woman made me crazy!

So I thanked her for the closure and said good bye.

Been free of her ever since.

[ProudGerman]

27. I'm friends with my ex

She's a wonderful woman, and I'm not really sure why she broke off the engagement (I keep winding up with she must have thought "too good to be true" when I think about it, then I dismiss that as arrogance speaking). I'm still the one she comes to when life gets really rough, much to the chagrin of her current worthless boyfriend (trust me, he actually is worthless). I'm still the person she trusts above everyone else, I've been told stuff her own mother and girlfriends will never hear. It's been 4 months since she broke it off, not much compared to the years spoke of in this thread, but I still see me and her getting back together sometime. Not only would I crawl through glass to marry her, I'd sell my soul for her.

[WeirdSceneGoldmine]

28. I don't worry about past ex's as much as I prepare for future ex's

Once I used to join in
every boy and girl was my friend.
Now there's revolution, but they don't know
what they're fighting.
Let us close out eyes;
outside their lives go on much faster.
Oh, we won't give in,
we'll keep living in the past

Kudos Ian Anderson

[hussar]

30. This story is the real deal

I was infatuated with a girl when I was in the British army, I was about 20 years old, she was the first serious girlfriend I had ever had and I think the 2nd sexual partner. She was a wild one and loved to make love anywhere, anytime I loved that girl to bits but I was stationed in Germany and she was in England, we got engaged though.

My mother couldn't stand her and that caused many conflicts between my mother and me, on my 21st birthday I walked out and stayed in a hotel and was joined by my lady. I went back to Germany and we wrote and called each other just about every day and one time she thought she was pregnant so I drove from Germany back to the UK on Friday afternoon and was back on first parade Monday morning after a false alarm!

She needed somebody to be there and so went with another guy, that killed me and I eventually took an overdose, a cry for help I don't know but I was broken hearted. I never ever got over that girl, anyway she moved to Florida a couple of years later and is still there to this day, I met up with her after 20 years and she was still as pretty as I remembered but I was suffering from severe depression and screwed up the reunion.

I am more over her now than I ever was but she still claws her way into my dreams now and again, guess I'll never be over her completely.

Sorry about spelling etc, typing is crap

[sistersofmercy]

35. I bet...

she still thinks of you as well.

[angee_is_mad]

52. The first

love is always the hardest to forget. If it is any comfort to you, the girl that you knew 20years ago no longer exist. In her place is a grown woman who has experience life, which has shaped the way she is now. The way she is now, may not be the type of woman you would be attracted to now. You two may not have anything in common accept for the fact that she was you 1st love 20yrs ago.
Don't live in the past, but look forward to the future. The past always seem to look rosier, then it actually was when we were living it.

[hussar]

63. Oh I met her 20 years later

that was about 4 or 5 years ago and she was still attractive to me but she was crazy, she told me things about her childhood that I never knew before and I think that's why she's like she is.

It's such a long story and so many details it would take forever to tell but like I said she's faded now but I doubt she will ever go away completely.

[absyntheNsugar]

31. Oh I have such the evil-ex

Texan trallop who took my heart, broke it in two...then stomped on it a while. My friends all said I was better off without her - that she was a money-hungry, materialistic bitch. I guess you never should date a model - their insecurities make everyone around them into blubbering masses of protoplasm.

I'm happily married now, with a kid - but the evil-ex keeps popping back in my mind.

[populistmom]

36. I used to dream about an ex a lot

Then I realized two things: 1.)as of a couple of years ago, he was 30 and still lived with his parents and 2.) it was because I didn't want to focus on stuff in my own relationship. Once that hit me, my thoughts of him have flown away (but he haunted me for some time I admit, usually when things were stressful).

[merry_jane]

37. one in a federal penitentiary

I recently split up with my ex.

I had an ex-bf before that who I went out with for 8 years. We had a long distance relationship while I was in college and when I finished I came back and got a job.

A year into my job and a year of being together made me realize that he wasn't the one for me -- he was extremely possessive and a little delusional with his possessiveness. I met another guy and left him for this other guy (who is my most recent ex). Before I left him, I made sure he was ok and ok to make a living on his own.

I didn't tell the first ex I left him for another guy -- he had a very bad temper and violent tendancies. To make a long story short, he eventually found out and we had a huge conflict on the road that ended up involving the police (but I didn't press any charges).

He contacted me several times after and I spoke to him and he said he was sorry and if we could be friends -- that he understood where it went wrong in our relationship. He said no matter what, he wanted me back, but he was willing to accept friendship.

Then, one day, he came by to see me one day and asked me if I would go away with him because we never travelled together before. He said he wanted to take me away and he'd be better this time. He said he thought a lot about how to treat me right.

I said I couldn't -- that I really loved this guy I was with. I saw the hurt look in his eyes. I saw the tears and he just left.

Months later, he was arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit murder. I read in the papers that, shortly before the time he came to me and asked me to go away with him, he had been involved in an incident where 4 guys went and killed this guy's wife (her throat was slit in a staged carjacking -- the police figured it was staged because whoever tried to make it look like a robbery didn't take her purse and wallet). The husband had accumulated about $1 million in gambling debts to loan sharks. Three months before his wife was killed, the guy went and took out a life insurance policy on his wife for a million dollars. Then, he hired my ex to contract 4 guys to take out his wife.

It ended up they each got no more than $7,000.

I cried when I put two and two together. I cried for the woman who was killed. I cried for him, that he could be so mislead into thinking that if he quickly made that money, he could take me away and get back with me. I cried that he threw his whole life away for nothing.

Today, he's serving a life sentence in a federal pen. and I wonder every single day if I could've done anything different to change the outcome of that. It still hurts me to think about it.

[sistersofmercy]

39. Oh my...

that is so heavy, you poor thing! So sorry.

[VOX]

38. Got one. Haven't talked with her in more than 10 years...

She was the first woman that I truly, genuinely, all-the-way fell in love with. I was desperately attracted to her intellect, her startling beauty, and her skewed sense of humor. The physical nature of our relationship was mind-blowing. However, there was a very volatile aspect to our being together -- in retrospect, I realize that she had an eating disorder. She prepared mounds of food for relatives and colleagues, but would spit out her food in the sink. Her behavior became erratic, and her temper would flare -- she would lash out unexpectedly. I came home one day to find our kitchen painted with *black* enamel paint, ceiling to floor. Needless to say, that was the final straw.

We kept in contact for a couple of years after that, but she left town to pursue her studies. It's absolutely for the best that we didn't stay together. I hate to even consider the dark possibilities if we had.

I do think about her every so often, and hope that she has found a measure of peace in this world. My thoughts of her are kind -- she gave me many gifts, and I am grateful.

All that said, my one-and-only Mrs. rezmutt is truly my soulmate -- we've been together for 10 years, have weathered many storms, and always, we have negotiated and resolved conflict in a mature and healthy manner. Not to mention our XXX life -- who hoo!

Here's to the exes, may we speak well of them, and let go of the ones who were dogged by their own demons -- :toast:

[shanti]

40. yup

but he just moved out this morning...so it will take some time.

[sistersofmercy]

42. Sorry

For your break up.

[GOPisEvil]

43. I'll send some good thoughts your way.

:pals:

[sistersofmercy]

41. Ok I'll confess. It's really kind of sad and you'll know how stupid I am

It's been some years now but here it goes.
I met this man, a cliche I know, but from the very first moment our eyes met I knew I wanted him and wanted to be his. It was as if my fragile little heart leapt into his hands at the very moment of meeting him. We talked, we hooked up and went out. I was totally in awe of everything about this man, his smile, his lips, his regal nose, his dark eyes, black hair, golden brown skin, the way he walked and the way he talked. We had this unbelievable connection. Intellectually we were so well suited for one another it was sickening. I relished in every word that came from his beautiful mouth and he in mine. We had conversed about mythology one evening and the next time I saw him he had bought me the most beautiful encyclopedia of mythological characters that contained all those wonderful ancient relics of art. It was truly the greatest gift a man had ever given me. Jewelry bores me and all the other run of the mill gifts men give to women. This book told me had listened to me and knew the person that I was, am.
But I had this problem, big scary problem. A previous idiot I dated was stalking me big time. The fruitcake just wouldn't leave me alone. I had filed a restraining order which didn't do a bit of good. It only provoked him into harrassing me more. This weirdo called my house about 20-30 times a day. He would just show up at my door, I'd call the police but because I lived on a private street I could do nothing to him without the consent of my neighbors even with a restraining order. This imbecile used the courts to harrass me and just about anything you can think of or perhaps a normal person wouldn't think of. He followed me around constantly. Sadly this went on for years.
Needless to say I was very careful about when and where I met Mr Wonderful. I was also convinced that if I told him about my problem he would drop me like a hot potato. I would make excuses about being busy or being too tired to go out. Because I knew with added frequency came the added possibility of the fruitcake or one of his friends seeing the two of us out. The man I adored had brought it up on a few occasion about seeing me more, I of course played it cool or so I thought.
Then one night out of the blue he told me "this is not right therefore it is wrong." Never gave me an explanation just dropped me like a hot potato. I was devastated, hurt and angry. I kept thinking he would call, every time the phone rang a hoped it was him but no it was just the idiot stalker. Then after two weeks he finally called. At first I was just unbelievably happy to hear from him, we talked for a while then he said "I would like to start over." I'm not sure what about that statement set me off but I proceeded to question his previous dumping statemnet. I said, "But I thought it is not right therefore it is wrong? What changed your mind?" He replied that he didn't know and danced around the subject. Finally adding "Look I would just like to start over." I came back with "But then you need to tell me why you said that." Silence occurred and I broke the silence with "Well for the record **** it felt right to me, so I don't think so." And then I hung up the phone.
I swear every fiber of my being wanted to call him back but my stupid pride.

I believe now that the starting over statement set me off because the weirdo stalker had said it over and over again in letters, on my answering machine and anytime he "happened to run" into me.

[Wickerman]

49. Oh, that is sad

Do you know where he is? Married? Make contact if you know he isn't involved. Well, consider it. I just happened to run across my ex-girlfriend's email, thought enough time had passed and enough other crap had gone down in my life that we could exchange pleasantries and move on. Not a chance. We've been together 4 years this time and seem to be doing better each day. All that after a break of 17 years.

pulling for you.
:thumbsup:

[sistersofmercy]

51. I know what city he's in but

I'd be too chickenshit to contact him. To this day I'll never understand why I didn't pick up the phone and call him back. I just think the stalker made me slightly off. I did call him back a little later but he wasn't home and I just hung up, didn't leave a message. Then he moved to Texas.
I believe one day I will run into him somewhere, someplace.

[Fight_n_back]

44. What a depressing idea for a thread

Its what I am going through right now! When I close my eyes I see her, when I lie down to go to sleep I smell her.

[sistersofmercy]

45. But isn't it cathartic to just release some of the ...

anguish? I've only told one person my story, well other than here.

[Fight_n_back]

47. To hear my story

you would have to buy me a lot of beer.

[sistersofmercy]

48. OK

What beer do you like to drink? I'm a red wine girl but I like beer, only the microbrews or imports though. Did you read my sorry stupid post? If I can post something from a few years ago that I never told a soul until just a few months age and then here, well, I think you can tell. But if you wish I'll buy you a brew.

[KaraokeKarlton]

46. I have one I can't get out of my head and one who won't leave me alone

I was engaged to a wonderful man for 5 years. He was murdered 4 years ago next month. Because we had such a wonderful relationship I've found that I just can't settle for anything less. That tends to be a real handicap in an area with an already somewhat shallow dating pool. I initially went through the motions of dating and having short term relationships, but just wasn't really into it. At this point I've not been intimately involved with anyone for close to 3 years. On a brighter note, there is a guy I'm very attracted to at work who seems my type. I'm always catching myself staring at his rearend...lol. I'm definitely ready to move on, but am still extremely picky and too old fashioned to just go up and grab his butt to let him know I'm interested. :D

Now for the one who won't leave me alone. I divorced him almost a decade ago because he was an abusive drunk. He can't move on and is constantly trying to disrupt my life in one way or another. I pretty much just ignore him and screen my calls. His behavior ranges from trying to win me over by being nice to calling me every name in the book when he gets frustrated that being nice doesn't make me want him back.

[sistersofmercy]

54. Truly...

sorry for your loss. I don't think I could ever get over such a thing.
For the idiot harrassing you, I've been there. It sucks and no one can even begin to understand unless they've been there.

[KaraokeKarlton]

56. Thanks...I'm doing fine, really

It was a horrible loss, that is true. I'm ready to move on, actually, but because it was such a great relationship it's really difficult to settle for anything that's not at that same level. We had something quite rare.

My ex husband is nothing more than a minor annoyance at this point. The first few years were pure hell, but it doesn't even bother me anymore. I live in Vermont and he lives in Florida. He can only try to be a pain by phone and thanks to caller ID, I can just let it ring. :D

[4323Lopez]

50. What, ME bitter?

Pray--see poll.
:)Just kidding.

I think you have to forgive her in your heart and that will help release your mind to let it go. Just an opinion.

[Ramsey]

53. It will pass

I had an ex I felt this way about for years. He didn't really treat me like shit so much as just ignored me, which was even worse. He showed up on occasion and won me back for a few days or a few weeks and then went on his merry mindless way again. I used to think about him all the time, alternating between revenge and reconciliation fantasies.

But a few more years went by and my obsession faded. But oddly, or maybe out of nostalgia, I still got in touch with him periodically. I saw him this past summer, and he is a pathetic loser now. This fact both saddens me greatly and yet vindicates all the uncharitable (yet realistic) thoughts I ever had about him in the past. I do not gloat. I genuinely feel sorry for the guy. In fact I am bleeding heart enough to want to help him.

But still, I am so much better off, because of my own efforts and talents, and it is a relief to know that.

[frustrated_lefty]

57. How does one get over....

Ok, I’ve been dodging this thread. I didn’t meet some evil bitch, life just sucks sometimes.

There was a young lady….no, rephrase, there was a 15 yr old prostitute I ran into in a bar in New Orleans on a rainy night. We were both stuck inside, and she was looking for a customer. She was large-breasted and knew how to apply make-up, so she could slip past bouncers in New Orleans, but I knew she was a kid. Hell, I was a kid, 17 at the time.

Anyway, she propositioned me, and I was an angry young man, so I insisted:

a) I don’t pay for it, and
b) You’re a goddam kid, why are you selling it??

It was a weird night, largely brought on by the rain and being confined with a stranger willing to talk.

She explained she was gang raped when she was a freshmen in highschool, shortly after she came to the US from Columbia. At the time, she thought girls who got raped brought it on themselves, they were “sluts” and “whores.” I tried sympathizing with her (but, really, what the hell does any 17 year old boy know about being raped?), but it only ticked her off. She teased me about being so virgin lilly-white, she could marry me. She’d been teasing me for a while at that point, so I replied she couldn’t marry me, I wouldn’t “f*ck a whore.” I’m not explaining this the way it happened…the way it felt at the time was she was ripping into me for being a young white guy who just didn’t know shit, and I was ripping into her for torturing herself and disappointing her mother because of some preconceived notions about things out of her control.

The rain stopped, and she walked back to the street, telling me she’d find a customer within a half hour. I went home and sucked down booze until I couldn’t see straight, eventually puked, and barely remembered details the following day.

Fast forward 8 years. I’m the “alpha” grad student in the program, the stud with the answers for anything relating to the biological sciences. I walk over to another lab to help a fellow grad student who had asked me to come over earlier in the day. When I arrive, there’s a young lady chewing out my fellow grad student ( another lady, I may add) because the grad student won’t teach the young lady DNA sequencing after hours. My fellow grad student worked from 9-5, and this young lady had a day job and could only learn new techniques after the regular work day was over.

It made an impression on me, her spunk. Here, to me, was a kid demanding and fighting to learn scientific techniques and being snotty about it with someone who would be considered her “superior.” Neither of them knew I was there, until I piped in and said “calm the hell down, you want to learn to sequence, I’ll teach you to sequence, just let me know when you want to start. The long and the short of it is, this young lady and I started staying in lab together until 3 and 4 in the morning, working our asses off. We did that for months, no romance, just work.

And eventually she remembered where she’d seen my face, and reminded me where I’d seen her before.

She said she was really pissed at me for being such an asshole in the bar, and she’d tried sending mafia newbies and wanna-bes-to beat the crap out of me. But, she also thanked me, and said my criticism of her actions made her decide to quit prostitution and try to make something more of herself. We fell madly, sadly in love with each other. We watched Disney’s Aladdin together for the first time and I still can’t watch it without shedding a tear.

She had a fierce, independent streak to her. One evening, she drove off and came back to explain she was raped at a rest area on the interstate. She also later explained she really couldn’t have men in her life, not intimately. She made it clear she wanted a lot of distance from me, and, I guess, I have a problem with rejection. I finished my graduate degree and started picking points around the map, looking for jobs. In less than 36 hours I left from New Orleans to San Francisco. That was nearly 10 years ago.

There aren’t more than a few days which go by where I don’t think about this young lady. And everytime I think about her, I remember I did a really lousy job of helping her deal with her pain and her experience

I really can’t get her out of my head

I hate thinking about this stuff, I really do

[frustrated_lefty]

58. I think

I shared too much. In answer to the original question, yes, it can be hard to get over some ex-es.

[sistersofmercy]

61. No

It is a truly touching story. FIND HER!

[sistersofmercy]

60. I say

FIND HER! The fates gave you a second chance, FIND HER!

[boilerbabe]

59. I don't write to those who shit down my neck, but the other ones...

I just contacted an old boyfriend from my college days, and got a pleasant surprise. He wrote back, telling me what happened to all his friends and himself.
As far as the ones you can't seem to get out of your head, that may be because you didn't get "closure" I hate to use that term,but if you didn't finish it off in one way or another, it's going to bother you forever. Been there and done that!!
Hope you find the answers, hunny!!
XXXOOO
the boilerbabe

[villager]

62. current becoming-an-ex

was tough to live with the whole 11 years we were married... we've been separated for a year-and-a-half. What makes it toughest of all are the two great kids we have -- I miss them every day I don't see them. And while I don't miss all the fighting she and I did, and her incredibly short fuse, I miss "family time."

Then, there's the sleazoid car salesman she's taken up with, and I have to figure out why he gets treated more kindly than the father of her children ever did...

And as our boys grow, she and I will have to deal with each other face-to-face far more than I would otherwise choose...

though at the same time, "moving on" emotionally doesn't seem out of reach, either...