Let's turn Intelligent Design on its head

[ochazuke]

As I understand it, the theory of intelligent design is nothing more than the feeling that life is just too damn complicated to have come about by natural processes alone: there must have been a designer.

Well, next time you find yourself around someone who thinks that way, you might wonder aloud how man ever figured out how to make plaster out of limestone, how the Chinese ever developed the art of acupuncture, or any of who-knows-how-many human accomplishments.

"How could they have done that!! It's just too incredible to have been the result of simply INTELLIGENCE alone!! There must have been some ACCIDENT involved, some RANDOM CHANCE occurrence!!"

Let's teach it in the schools. We'll call it "Dumb Luck".

[LaraMN]

1. If they're going to pronounce "intelligent design" a "scientific" theory,

that must be introduced in schools, then shouldn't Scientologists "alien origin" theory be represented, too? and whatever those Hale-Bop Comet freaks thought was the origin of our species. I am going to invent a "theory," repeat it so much that I eventually come to believe it, and demand it ALSO be addressed as an alternative theory. I think it will involve magnets, "glowy things," and really big pieces of stuff. that are hot. and rainbow-colored.

[ZombieNixon]

2. Here's my "theory."

Our planet was settled 40,000 years ago by a group of newly spacefaring pioneers who were escaping a nuclear winter on their home planet. They came in contact with the native inhabitants of our planet, which I am told included elves, dwarves and hobbits, and interbreeded over 40 millennia, eventually depriving the indiginous lifeforms of their naturally occurring magical abilities (don't ask me to explain those; they're magic!).

Oh, and also, we're going to be attacked by outer-space penguins. In 2036. I just know. Don't ask why, or I'll have to kill you! :D

[LaraMN]

3. Do you have a church? Do you suggest a tithing?

I'm looking for a cheap and easy indoctrination.

[ZombieNixon]

4. You need to give money to everyone of those poor Nigerian widows

who want to come to America and need their fortunes transferred out of their Swiss bank accounts so they contacted you via e-mail.

[GrpCaptMandrake]

6. "Cheap and easy?"

That's not an indoctrination. That's a 2 a.m. bar hook-up!

:spray:

[LaraMN]

9. Sounds like a religion to me!

:bounce:

[GrpCaptMandrake]

12. Come to think of it

you're right!

:toast:

[WindRavenX]

5. Or, you could hire me to give them a staph infection

I grew a very lovely neon organe green colony of Staphylococcus aureus (aka, staph) bacteria in my EVOLUTION lab. HAHA

[ZombieNixon]

7. Really, 'cuz I think I've got of that growing in my THROAT!

Nobody make a move, or I'll cough! I swear I'll do it!! I'm a madman!!! A MADMAAAAN!!!!

[WindRavenX]

8. can I be the lounge's official mad scientist???

PLEASE??

[ZombieNixon]

10. You'll need to ask the Lounge Deities.

I think progmom's one. I'm just a Lounge Zombie, I can't grant titles.

[WindRavenX]

11. damn

I must be the mad scientist who creates the most potent strain of mj...truly, the madest, best, scientist

[chknltl]

13. Qualifications?????

:popcorn:

[WindRavenX]

15. Well

I believe in doing only good research, to help the word. And creating mad fucked up strains of mj to make it cheaper, and more potent. =)

Oh , and I believe in evolution, which apparently lately is enough to make you seem odd..

[chknltl]

20. good enough for me

If I need anything mad invented I will know who to turn to.
I would help you in your quest for recognition as HLMSD, (Head of Lounge, Mad Sciences Division), but I am chknltl.... rarely do I get taken seriously. Good luck in this venture my fellow avian.

[TimeChaser]

21. Can I be a MSIT?

Mad Scientist in Training? I'm doing research with parasites in fish next semester.

[chknltl]

22. Egads...What have I gotten myself into???

I have yet to see any here more qualified... well seeing as how I am in no position to grant any requests, I will accept you as resident MSIT, TimeChaser, welcome aboard. :patriot:

[LaraMN]

14. I, in fact, did once have a staph infection in my neck!

Well, sort of-- I let my friend pierce my ears, one got infected, and it spread. I had a sore lump about the size of a jumbo olive a little ways down my neck. My Mom FINALLY let me go to the doctor and I ended up on massive antibiotics. The antibiotics made me puke for two weeks. That's my Staph infection story.

[WindRavenX]

16. ugh

Sounds bad...

[LaraMN]

17. It was okay. The antibiotics were worse. I have a poison ivy story,too.

But I'm saving it.

[WindRavenX]

18. share it!

I love stories!

[LaraMN]

19. I'm half kidding - it's not really that interesting.

I was itching a bit, went to my school choir concert and walked off stage, only to realize I had huge, swollen knees and lumpy patches all over my legs. I went to the Dumbest Doctor on Earth, our family practitioner. The guy had NO CLUE what was wrong with me. He treated me for body lice (I was MORTIFIED about that,) and a couple other wierd things, over the course of a week, and finally sent me to a SPECIALIST. I had to see a freaking specialist to diagnose Poison Ivy! I swear, that Doctor could diagnose about five things, and had to refer patients to specialists for everything else.

[hfojvt]

23. that is exactly

what I was saying the other day. As they modified the rules to prohibit asking medical questions. If you are sick, they said, you need to goto the doctor. I said doctors do not always know what they are talking about, but they will be happy to perform a walletectomy anyway to remove your excess accumulations of cash.