My cat can go fuck itself

[HEyHEY]

MMEMEEOOOOOOOWWWWW, I want outside.

MMMMEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW, I want inside

MMMMMMEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW, I want food

RRROOOOOORRRRRRRRR, I just wanted to wake you up

fuck him, fuck cats... it's not even MY cat.

I like dogs, dogs are cool.

I think I'll feed this cat to one.

[billyskank]

1. :)

:popcorn:

[BikeWriter]

2. ...

:popcorn:

[LynneSin]

3. Until the Dog wakes you up at 3am just so he can go poop

At least cats can use the litter box without your assistances except a daily cleanout of the box. Even then you can buy motorized litter boxes that can do that.

[HEyHEY]

5. I've rarely had a dog do that

Our dogs always got put out just before bed... then let out when we got up. If they had to go bad enough to wake us up, we'd not be mad.
Cause we loved him.

This cat though... I wish the dog had eaten the cat.

[LynneSin]

7. I wish my cat would eat those damn polar bears of yours

:popcorn:

[HEyHEY]

8. Ha, good luck

they run too fast

[BikeWriter]

14. Dogs can go outside and come back on command...

without running away and becoming road frisbees, or getting shot or trapped by the crazy neighbors. They don't shit and piss in the house. I like that in an animal.

[Critters2]

21. You obviously don't live with a beagle

I couldn't let my dog run off leash for a second. First interesting smell, she'd be a tri-colored road frisbee.

Cats don't even have to go outside.

[BikeWriter]

26. I'm sorry your Beagle disobeys. Yes, that is dangerous for her.

:(

[Hardrada]

50. Are you supposed to do that daily?

Oh jeeze.

[ThomCat]

4. Cat's grow on you.

Just wait.

Dogs are cool too. But they're not cats. :P

[HEyHEY]

6. This cat's had 13 years, all it's done is pissed me off

[ThomCat]

11. It sounds like the cat has a hobby.

And you're it. :rofl:

[Blue Diadem]

15. If kitty hasn't always done that, maybe he/she is getting senile.

Ours did. He'd forget he was merowing to go outside. We'd open the door and he'd turn around and go lay down. Then he'd be back at the door in a few minutes merowing again.

[havocmom]

43. And if ya think senile is bad, wait until partial deafness hits

Then they MEOW really loud cuz they can't hear themselves. The younger cats were like, 'Dude, why are you yelling? Chill the hell out'

[Arugula Latte]

31. I've been around both a lot -- I prefer cats by a mile.

I don't dislike dogs, it's just that they're so ... barky and stinky and obsequious, etc. Cats are way cooler.

[ThomCat]

36. Cats definitely have more style.

I love dogs just as much. I'd love to have a beagle, or a spaniel (awesome dogs) but I can only have cats. I don't consider it much of a loss because my cats are my babies.

[redqueen]

9. Goddess... I HATE that...

one of our cats is soooo bad... five minutes after you give in to the whining and let him in the bathroom or wherever it is he wants to go with you, he wants out again. AAAAAA! Shut up!

[HEyHEY]

12. Yeah, I think I'll smear him in BBQ sauce and let him out tonight

[hunter]

32. Our dogs would lick BBQ sauce off, leaving cat unharmed...

...but humiliated with funny looking spit hairdo.

[Elidor]

37. !!!

:rofl:

My adopted stray has been driving me crazy. I finally realized the problem: he sleeps all day, warm and dry while I work, then bounces off the walls all night long. Solution: I only let him in to eat. If it's too cold to spend the night outside, there's a shelf in the bathroom that he likes to sleep on. Other than that, he is felina non grata around here.

And his little balls are getting snipped next week! :bounce:

[havocmom]

44. Leave the answering machine set to screen calls

Phone home every half hour and yell at the critter to WAKE UP!

Worked for my daughter's cat.

[kiraboo]

10. What you don't realize is that the cat is screwing with your brains.

He knows you don't like him, and he's making your life hell. Cats are like that, and that's why I like cats!

[HEyHEY]

13. He would be if I gave shit

He's closer to being fed to a dog than he is to having me toady to him.

[BikeWriter]

16. Feed him to your bears.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

17. You know, my dear HEyHEY........

Have you ever thought of having a pet door put in?

They completely eliminate the problems you describe here!

When we had animals, we always had one! They work wonderfully...

:shrug:

[Major Hogwash]

18. We put in a pet door once . . .

. . but the stupid cat kept locking himself out.

He kept forgetting to take his keys with him whenever he went outside.

Do you know why?

Because cats ain't got pockets!

LoL

[CaliforniaPeggy]

24. LOL indeed, my dear Major Hogwash!

BTW, Welcome to DU! Enjoy your stay in our crazy, addictive little village!

:hi:

[Lochloosa]

20. We had one.

Until I watched a RAT come in one night and help himself to the cat food.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

25. Yes, well, there is always that!

Sounds as though your cat wasn't much of a rat-catcher.....too bad...

We did have the occasional opossum come in ours......:shrug:

[HEyHEY]

28. Racoons would get int

[johnnie]

19. .

Just sayin' :shrug:

[Call Me Wesley]

22. Strange.

I always thought cats have good taste if it comes to humans. I might be wrong ...

:popcorn:

[progmom]

23. sounds more like my dog

the cat is pretty low maintenance in comparison. :shrug:

[redqueen]

27. Yeah, my sister-in-law's dog is just as bad.

Just like with people, irritating pets come in all breeds. :)

[uppityperson]

29. My cat can lick herself, is that close enough to...

is that close enough to fucking herself? MrUP has mentioned that he wished he had the flexibility of our cat.

[deadparrot]

30. I think my cat and yours are long-lost siblings.

All through the night.

She'll jump on your head until you let her out. Half and hour later, bang, bang, bang. She's at my window, and won't stop with the banging until you let her in. Repeat through the night (and day, for that matter).

[Richardo]

33. Introduce him to one of your polar bears

That'll straighten him out.

"Paulie? You won't see him no more."

[graywarrior]

34. Must be related to my cat who controls my entire world

the little fucker.

[Roon]

35. You're not fooling anyone, Hey Hey!!

We all know that you love your cat! :o

[skygazer]

38. Sounds like my cat

Out the window, in the door. Out the door, in the window. Needs a drink and must get it from the bathroom sink which must be turned on and off for him. Oh, back out. Now back in. Hungry. Pet me. Back out. Another drink. etc. etc. etc.

I actually love the cat but he is an amazing pain in the ass. ~sigh~

[Benfea]

39. All cats are insane. That's why they're fun!

Plus, they never try to lick your crotch.

[ulysses]

40. talented cat.

:D

[TrogL]

41. I've got one in heat

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIWWAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!! No interspecies sex - get over it.
HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOO! (you try getting sleep with an alien being screaming HELLO! in your basement
AAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL No, you can't fuck the wall - isn't gonna work.

[mdmc]

42. to late to R,but I can

:kick:

[democracyindanger]

45. It's possible, you know.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7gB3Czv0vbw

[htuttle]

46. Dogs have 'masters'. Cats have 'staff'.

:shrug:

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

47. My cat used to hold "staff meetings" every morning with the family

Basically it was him saying "Okay, I'm going to sleep all day while shedding on the couch but I plan to get up and eat about four times and come in and out eight times in a span of twenty-five minutes around 2 o'clock, so you pricks better be ready to pour the food and hold the door for me. And don't friggin' touch me."

[Reciprocity]

48. You should NEVER have children, and if you do I pity them.

[Minnesota Libra]

49. OMG, that's the best belly laugh I've had in a LONG time and............

......I needed that.:rofl: And the more I read that the more I :rofl: Thanks!!!!

Am I correct in assuming the cat belongs to you SO??:hide: Have you discussed these dinner plans you have for the cat with your SO??:argh:

THANKS FOR THE ONGOING:rofl:

[Hardrada]

51. Our previous cat, Waldorf-Astoria, thought behind

each door was a different season. He would check out the back when we let him out there and quickly would come in out of the winter but would then head for the front door where, he obviously thought, it was a different season, an entry into May or June. I was amused and a bit sad at his disappointment. We made up for this in spring (when it is beautiful here) and let him be out all he wanted.