Confessional is open

[plcdude]

Yes my child what is it that you wish to confess?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

1. I hate religion.

;)

[plcdude]

2. a good thing

you came here because this has nothing whatsoever to do with religion.

[Bunny]

3. I make stuff up during confession.

[plcdude]

4. me too

like what?

[Bunny]

9. I used to say standard stuff like: I lied, I was sassing my parents, etc.

This was to hide the fact that in real life, I was smoking, drinking, swearing, etc. No need to get too personal, eh? :D

[plcdude]

15. This is the confessional

but you can PM if you like to reveal those other things.

[Bunny]

20. HAHAHA!

Has the statute of limitations expired? It's been over 30 years now!

[plcdude]

21. not for the lounge confessional

there will be penance to pay.

[Richard Steele]

5. I just gave a stranger directions- and they were WRONG!

40 minutes ago, as I was walking up to the store.

I realized it 20 seconds later, but his light had changed
and he was gone.
He'll never find his destination until he stops and asks
someone else.
I feel like an idiot, and a BAD person.

[plcdude]

6. well at least it wasn't

intentional do four push ups and take a shower.

[Richard Steele]

19. I should probably mention...

This is the FOURTH time in a row.
I am REALLY starting to worry that I have some
subconscious compulsion to send perfect strangers
off on wild goose chases.

4 pushups ain't gonna cut it!

[plcdude]

22. okay you may

be sending people to the adventure of thier lives. Make that 6 instead.

[LaraMN]

7. I bought new boots....again....

I think I have a "problem," but it feels soooo good!:rofl:

[plcdude]

10. recognizing your weaknesses

is the start to recovery greet your husband with only your boots on as penance it might result in you feeling even better.

[LaraMN]

13. Hah! Then he'll never get the dishwasher fixed!

I have a list of jobs he needs to get on top of, and I'm not presently on it!

[plcdude]

17. put yourself on top

and he just might want to get those other things done one at a time.

[LaraMN]

23. Well, I suppose if I strategically positioned myself,

it would all get done faster.:P

[plcdude]

24. good

and now do four kegels and polish your boots http://www.childbirth.org/articles/kegel.html

[LaraMN]

26. I know all about kegels, I've popped out babies,

and have no desire to develop urinary incontinence as a result of having carried and delivered said offspring. I'm well practiced!

[plcdude]

28. your reward of course will

be heaven my daughter

[ThomCat]

8. I'm posting on DU from work.

instead of giving every possible moment to the pile of work I have here.

[plcdude]

11. cease working

entirely and continue to post with more focus.

[azmouse]

12. My sister-in-law is a RWer...

and I don't like her any more since I found out.

[plcdude]

14. remember that is only

part of her persona find those things about her that are positive to you and tell your brother to get her straightened out.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

16. Sometimes I want to bite people in GD

[plcdude]

18. o that bites

but remember that it will probably leave a sour taste in your mouth

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

25. I hate freepers.

Yes, I said it. I HATE them.

And I don't feel bad about it ONE BIT!

[plcdude]

27. now my son

be accurate you hate the freeping send the freeper your love by posting this site. http://political.moveon.org/censure/?id=7035-5631079-3iXNZwL_smoMw8.iuv5K7Q&t=2

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

29. Done.

Thank you, father! I feel clean again!! :-)

[plcdude]

35. go and

sin boldly

[khashka]

30. I have impure thoughts about my state governor

Ten Hail Mary's or a good mastubation session?


I feel conflicted.... I need advice, Father.


Khash.
(since when did I become Catholic?)


(my ex used to confess to adultery. He was 7! But he knew he was bad and it was the worst sin he could think of!)

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. You forgot to mention the porn movie peep heads...

:shrug: Just thought I'd help out. ;)

[plcdude]

34. ah but you didn't forget did

you? Now you will have to say the hail Marys

[ScreamingMeemie]

54. Yes, but I only heard it through the grapevine...and repeated it only

to the source. I cannot help that you read it. That surely should grant me some sort of dispensation. ;)

[khashka]

36. We are very carefully avoiding that subject

Until HT and I can discuss it or shag like viagra-fueled bunnies.

So, peeps are forbiden for the moment.

You bad bad girl!


Khash.

[ScreamingMeemie]

56. Yes...I was kind of bummed that that part of the thread didn't continue

on. ;)

[plcdude]

32. go with

the masturbation session it will do you good, let us know how it comes out.

[khashka]

39. I can thin of at least five things why that sentence could get you banned!

Damn good thing they won't let me be a moderator!

Khash.

[plcdude]

40. in all things

moderation is good except in the lounge.

[khashka]

72. It came out fine, thank you

Although the porn was a problem. I kept thinking "what are the psycho-socio- politico implications of this".

It's getting bad when the boy can't even jerk off without wanting to write a screed about age and gender and the beauty myth..

Ah well, we all have problems :)


Khash.

[Sanity Claws]

33. Bless me father, for I have sinned

I have had impure thoughts about George Clooney.
I have coveted my neighbor's designer clothes. (They'd look better on me than on that cow!)
I put ex-lax in someone's hot chocolate. (That was some time ago. Is there a statute of limitations on sin?)

Father, do you absolve me of my sins?

[plcdude]

37. yes my daughter

you are forgiven, but you must limit your thoughts about George Clooney to say 10 times a day. Clothes do not make the woman remember it is what is underneath that counts send me a pic. Ex-lax is a good thing for a constipated individual you may have indeed been doing the right thing.

[Sanity Claws]

53. Thank you, father. BTW, would you like some hot chocolate?

I just made it.

[plcdude]

60. sounds

wonderful send it with the pictures.

[dr.zoidberg]

38. I want to have sexual relations Ann Coulter.

I hope that doesn't make me any less of a person. :(

[plcdude]

41. some of us are called

to martyrdom may find the way to forgive yourself and let us know for sure whether she is female or male.

[Pacifist Patriot]

43. Isn't that bestiality?

Maybe that's the slippery slope the anti-gay marriage folks were worried about.

[plcdude]

45. let us not

dishonor the beasts of the field.

[Pacifist Patriot]

47. I kneel chastened and humbled before thee.

[plcdude]

51. this too can

get you into all kinds of problems arise and let yourself live free.

[Pacifist Patriot]

52. Maybe, but...

last I checked it didn't result in any 6 year olds.

[plcdude]

59. good point

humbling one's self can be a most enjoyable thing I know I desire that often (humbling that is)

[redwitch]

76. this could result in human animal hybrids

the prezidunt warned us about those!

[Pacifist Patriot]

42. I despise children between the ages of 5.5 and 6.5.

I'm ready for grandchildren. :)

[plcdude]

44. That may be the meaning of

"suffer the little children to come unto me" However, be patient my daughter and know that sex will triumph.

[Pacifist Patriot]

46. Isn't that what caused this problem in the first place?

About 7 years ago.

[plcdude]

49. yes this wonderful

gift that keeps on giving you must therefore confine this gift to acts with yourself or with others without exchanging bodily fluids.

[edbermac]

48. I'm having impure thoughts about Sophia Loren...

:loveya:

[plcdude]

50. I will give you another

10 minutes to make them go away at least until next time.

[miss_american_pie]

55. I had a dream about Skinner and

another DUer last night.

[plcdude]

57. yes and tell

me more what is troubling you?

[miss_american_pie]

58. In the dream

They lured me into evil for the greater good.

[plcdude]

61. and that evil

was?

[miss_american_pie]

62. Bearing false witness

and, umm, maybe some other baring...

[plcdude]

63. yes you can tell me

it will free you of this consternation bearing it all please.

[miss_american_pie]

65. Well you know

someone had to distract the Freepers while the evidence was being planted. :blush:

[plcdude]

67. and what

did you do to distract them?

[miss_american_pie]

68. Used big words

while wearing small clothes.

[plcdude]

69. then you

have been a good and faithful servant instructing them in the ways of wisdom and fear. I kneel down before you.

[politicat]

64. I can't resist the lure of GD, even though it makes me crazy and gives

me hives. I still keep going in there.

Help me find the way out of the darkness that is GD and GD:P

[plcdude]

66. you must

confront it, and face it head on, embrace it, savor it, bask in it, massage it, give into it, only then will you be able to find peace in the GD.

[Dangerously Amused]

70. I got fooled twice. Shame on me.

[plcdude]

71. there is no shame

in wanting to be truthful and unburdening your soul.

[aQuArius]

73. I am having lesbian thoughts about my Republican friend

I think I might be slowly converting her to liberalism, but she still adores *!!! I can't help but want to make-out with her secretly. Tell me what I must do to overcome this or repent!

[elshiva]

74. Bless me father, it's been two weeks since my last confession.

Since then I've despaired of God's love and seriously contemplated suicide. I've overeaten. I've had ill thoughts toward my grandma. For these sins and all others I am truly sorry. :(

[AngryAmish]

75. In an hour I will have eaten a pound of meatloaf.

I'm a glutton.