I bet having a baby doesn't hurt as bad as women say.

[johnnie]

:popcorn:












:yoiks:

[I Have A Dream]

1. OK. n/t

[LeftyMom]

2. Men tend to have a misconception

(I think we have TV to thank for this) that the worst part is the pushing phase. Actually, the hardest part is the awful stretching sensation as the kid's head (or ass if they're breech) stretches the cervix (which has a hole a little smaller than a nostril normally) to 10 cm or so. Once the pushing begins it's much easier to cope.

[johnnie]

5. I would think the stretching would be worse...

...than breathing.

[LaraMN]

11. I'd have to agree with you.

Pushing was the part I feared the most, but it was relatively easy compared to the rest of it. When I was pushing, the snotty resident in my room announced that "some women compare pushing to having an orgasm." Um no. I can see the parallels of intensity to some degree, but that's not quite the same thing, jackass. Oh, I wanted to punch that man.

[LeftyMom]

13. Oddly, I don't think I've ever had an orgasm in a hospital room

with some stranger's hand in my naughty bits. Come to think of it, that's got to be the least sexual sensation I've ever experienced.

Some people are so very clueless. Sorry you had to deal with such an idiot.

[LaraMN]

33. He was a Grade-A asshole.

When I got to the hospital, he basically told me that I wasn't going to be able to handle unmedicated childbirth, because I hadn't "trained" for it. That was such prudent advice, seeing as I'd already given birth once before, and he had pushed out exactly -hmm- ZERO babies from his loins.

When my first baby was born, my husband and I weren't married, and the day after I delivered, the nurse brought some supplies to my room, including a fake rose with a little tag that read, "Thanks Mom, for life," from the area pro-life organization.

I was so fucking insulted by their presumptiveness that to this day, I still get angry when I think about it. Oh, and that was the extent of their generosity. They certainly didn't pitch in to send me and my bastard child home with a pack of diapers or a little knitted cap, blessed by their good Christian hands.:eyes:

[LynzM]

24. I've read about some women who...

Have birthing orgasms, but I don't think it's terribly common. And less so, I think, when you have snotty doctors around, as opposed to a supportive and enabling kind of environment.

[Texasgal]

3. Pass the junior mints please

:popcorn:

[nickgutierrez]

4. I don't wanna find out

:P

*gets fire extinguisher*

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear johnnie.......

Now why would you want to say something as foolish as that?

I agree, BTW, with LeftyMom.......

It doesn't necessarily hurt.....BUT it is the most intense experience I've ever undergone!

:hi:

[johnnie]

14. Hi Peggy

I thought it was pretty obvious I was just joking. The little popcorn dude and the other one running away.. Oh well, so much for levity..lol.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

19. OK, sorry!

Sometimes I'm just oblivious!

:silly:

[johnnie]

20. Well, I am sure others will think I am serious

I have a tough time with humor on DU. In the concrete world I do alright, on here I bomb a lot. :)

[laheina]

18. It hurt me!

It was also the most intense thing that I have ever undergone.

But as women will tell you before you have a baby, you don't really remember the pain afterward. And look what you get to take home with you when you are done. :)

I would like to see a man try it. ;)



Sorry Miss Peggy! I was responding to both your post and the primary poster. :hi:

[AlCzervik]

7. actually i had a gallbladder attack that hurt worse than labor and i had

no drugs during labor--i wanted the drugs but they said "Sorry, you're too far along now" and then i think i started swearing.

[aQuArius]

8. When you pass a watermelon out of your ass...

Let me know it felt, OK??? :spank:

[SeattleGirl]

9. I always liked Carol Burnett's description of childbirth:

This is for men who would like to experience what it might be like:

Take your bottom lip, stretch it out, and pull it over your head. (Or something like that). :P

[EstimatedProphet]

10. Trying to increase your journal posts, eh?

[johnnie]

15. Might be a good idea

I went through a lot of my old threads a while ago and found absolutely nothing to put in my journal..LOL

[EstimatedProphet]

36. You don't give yourself enough credit

I have always found you to be an insightful and wise poster.

[texas1928]

12. Well as a friend put it to me. (a girlfriend)

Try passing a softball through your penis. think about that pain and then she said get back to me. I got her drift.

[asthmaticeog]

16. .

[johnnie]

17. Is that thing doing

What I think it's doing?

[DS1]

21. This smilie needs to be added to the list

:thumbsup:

[MissB]

22. I can't say it hurt me much.

But then again, I didn't squeeze one out of a small hole. Or two, even.

[uppityperson]

23. You are right, it was a piece of cake, sneezed and out it popped!

The problem was keeping it in long enough to get to medical help. Good thing my partner had a big jock strap.

[eeyore]

25. I hear the process of birth sounds horrifying...

My brother said it sounded like a chicken carcass being ripped apart, lots of popping and snapping.

:shrug:

[johnnie]

26. Yikes

Ouch.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

29. I don't think it sounds like that......

But I was too busy working on getting my daughter out!

However it sounds, the results are most gratifying...

And the best part is, they grow up, and love you!

:hi:

[Merrick]

27. Yeah, they just like to bitch

it's all a scam to get the royal treatment when they come home from the hospital.

[miss_american_pie]

28. Dude

I had ten pound children. The docs had to put suction cups on their heads and pull them out.

Would you like me to describe everything leading up to that point?

:P

[Hugin]

31. *cringe*

*wince*

*sympathy faint*

*clatter*

[Katherine Brengle]

30. excellent flame-bait, lol.

and ps, it truly does.

[johnnie]

34. .

:evilgrin:



Seriously, I was just being a pain. I know that I would never want to go through that kind of thing.

[Redstone]

32. I'll bet it does.

Redstone

[American Tragedy]

35. I wouldn't know

and unless the Contraceptive Device police finally take control, I hope to not find out.