For Sale: NEW From Matcom and RONCO! Just In Time For XMAS!

[matcom]

RONCO and Matcom Industries Presents:

Just in time for the Holidays! Give the gift of New England! Its the HOT HOT HOT Item this year! EVERYBODY is giving it!

AS SEEN ON TV!

TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

Now in an EXCLUSIVE DU offering, available NOWHERE ELSE! Only $19.95!

For Sale: SNOW!

That's right friends. Now, in an exclusive DU offer, I am selling SNOW! Friends, for only $19.95 (+$47.00 shipping and handling) I will fill an envelope and mail you 1 Cup of snow! (note: amount = approx. 1 cup fresh snow and may vary by waterweight).

shipped anywhere in the continental U.S. (Alaska & Hawaii please add $321.00 extra postage). Just in time for that PERFECT Holiday gift! Supplies ARE NOT LIMITED so don't HURRY TODAY!

But WAIT! There's MORE!

for NO EXTRA CHARGE, I'll send you ABSOLUTELY FREE, Matcom's detailed instructions on how to craft the "Snowball" (copyright 2003, all rights reserved). This ONE PARAGRAPH paper unlocks the secretes of the snowball! NEVER BEFORE RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC!!

Hurry! Act Now before i plow again!

sorry, no COD. checks or moneyorders only.

[trof]

1. wretched excesses

On New Year's Eve our little town of Foley, Alabama brings in huge dumptruck loads of "snow" (Finely crushed ice, I think) so the kiddies can have snowball fights and build snowmen.
I know...I know...
;-)

[displacedtexan]

2. my father used to staple cotton batting to our roof in texas...

turn on the air conditioning, and have a fire in the fireplace for effect.
my mother added to the folly by spraying canned snow to the inside of the windows.
i thought it was beautiful...

[trof]

3. I think I actually believe that.

Last year a house over in Pensacola had the front yard covered in cotton. Guy must have gotten ahold of some spoiled bales.

[underpants]

4. Will you accept a third party postdated out-of-state check?

Sorry left my ID in the car.

[matcom]

5. absolutely!

i'll cash ANYTHING!

please add $2,588.69 for 3rd party out of state check fee

[underpants]

6. Let's see......02/29/05

Sorry I added the postdated part while you were posting.

[matcom]

7. no problem!

please add $128,944.50 for 3rd party postdated check fee

[underpants]

8. Um damn this is reeally adding up

This Sara Johson lady is really gonna be surprised.

[DS1]

15. and secure that with a Nigerian Bank account number

:grr:

[papau]

9. 9 am West Newton = 21 inches on ground, 5 more expected

and "wet" and heavy, with 6 foot wall via plows between my car and road.

Where the hell are the 14 year old kids going door to door trying to make a buck?

man - I hate it when we are in a "special" slice of the map that gets "enhanced snowfall" - I do love buzz words.

But I suspect that if we were one of the "normal" snowfall areas and had only 16 inches, I'd still be wondering where were all the 14 to 17 year old high school football players looking to make a buck.

:-)

[matcom]

10. LOL

just got in from snow blowing. got 8-10 foot high piles and *sigh* the mailbox is covered again. just as i was wrapping up, the BLIZZARD REALLY started.

snowing to beat the band again. guess i'll take a 2 hour break and get back out there.

just can't keep up with it x(

[underpants]

11. How did the shrinkwrap around the house work?

:bounce:

50 degrees and glorious sunshine in the Mid-Atlantic. Our highschool football players are out making money selling drugs just like always, I suspect.

[matcom]

12. good thing i planned ahead

stocked up on drugs Friday afternoon :D

better hope old Sarah Johnson is out selling some. she is gonna need the money

:bounce:

[underpants]

13. Stupid bandgeeks are wasting their time selling KrispyKremes

at the intersections.

:bounce:

[papau]

14. :-) but 20 miles over Beverly is at 31 in and could get 10 more :-)

Wed we get 46 degree high - I may just call in sick for 3 days!

:-)

[CatWoman]

16. Still hawking your inferior products huh?

After I explicity WARNED everyone not to buy anything from MAT.COM

[matcom]

17. inferior???

this is GENUINE New England SNOW baby!

the real thing!
100% LEGIT!!
BACKED BY RONCO for christs sakes! :P

so, can i put you down for 300 orders? :D

:bounce:

[CatWoman]

19. I don't want that crap

after you've peed all in it!!!

:D

[matcom]

20. no no no

Yellow is EXTRA! :D

[GOPisEvil]

18. Send me a million cups, along with the freezing temperatures!

I want the day off tomorrow. :P

Er, send the bill to underpants. :D