That's it. Goodbye DU, the computer is going out the window.

[dolo amber]

All I want to do is print a gift certificate. That's all. I'm not trying to hack into the Pentagon. I just want a gift cert. to give my 13 yr old. I go to the MS Office templates page to download a perfect specimen, and it tells me my cookies are not enabled. Fair enough, I've been doing some tinkering, so I go check it out. Hmm...well, they SEEM to be enabled...let me just re-enable them to be sure.
Big yellow ! and "Internet Cookies are Disabled". So I yell at the monitor "You stupid asshat, CLEARLY they are NOT disabled!!" and try again.

But alas, it is not to be. Mr. Gates, I implore you, with all your money, power, collected talent at Microsoft...can you NOT make an operating system that isn't the digital equivalent of Special Ed from Crank Yankers?! IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING SOMETHING WITH YOU BILLY-BOY, ISN'T IT?!?!?!?! :grr:

Do I need this? Do I? Really, in this day of stolen elections, global warming, not being able to find the #$&@* "Curly Q" doll the 3 yr old is drooling over...DO I NEED THIS?!

:nuke:

/end rant

Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your day.

[sarin]

1. grr,,

I had this problem for a while when I was trying to access my hotmail account with Windows 2k. I never really did figure out why it was giving me the cookies issue. I ended up reloading Windows and it solved the issue, so I have no idea what the problem was, but perhaps you can download a service pack from Microsoft that might end up fixing the issue. Those sometimes do help a bit, but then, if you're using Windows ME, you might as well shoot your computer now, hehe

Just some thoughts

sarin

[dolo amber]

2. Actually

I have XP Pro which is in fairness generally very stable. But it just seems like every week there's SOMETHING to deal with...things not loading right, soundcard going all wonky for NO reason whatsoever, etc. It just never ends! And I'm the type that will sit here for half the remainder of eternity until I fix it, and if I have to go elsewhere (which I do have to in 1/2 hour :() I'll be cranky until I get back and get it sorted.

[sarin]

6. dislike that

I'm totally the same like that. It can just frustrate the whole freakin' day. I hope you get it worked out. It's obvious your cookies are at least somewhat working, as you're posting here. I don't have XP and really dont like it much anyway.

Have you ever noticed that XP looks like and angry emoticon sticking out it's tongue....I wonder why?

sarin

[dolo amber]

7. Argh

I have the "Classic Interface"...if I used that damn shiny happy XP interface the pc would have been out the window ages ago. Nothing worse that happiness when you're dealing with a fucktarded OS. ;)

[ajacobson]

3. sheesh

Windows ME was a practical joke. I hope the gurus in Redmond got a good laugh from that one.

x(

[Kellanved]

4. use another browser

Download Mozilla (or another state-of-the-art browser) and try again with that.

Do you have any security software active? Many block attempts to track you - to the dismay of the trackers.

[VelmaD]

5. Make short bus...

deal with it. :evilgrin:

[dolo amber]

8. How do you think

I got stuck dealing with it in the first place? :eyes:

;)

[VelmaD]

14. Ah...good point

Send him out to make fire or something and get him out of the way. :-)

[moof]

9. Get a squeeker hammer while you are out.

or a nerf hammer, it won't fix the problem but it might make you feel a little better to beat the machine about the monitor for a bit.

[dolo amber]

11. Brilliant!

:D :thumbsup: :toast:

[SoCalDem]

10. I'll make one for you.. What do you want it to say??

I have publishing software on my computer

I can email it to you as an attachment and then you can print it out.. There are several cool baskgrounds too:)

[dolo amber]

12. Aww!

That is so sweet! The one I had picked out was just a rather generic green/red themed one with like a gift box on it...nothing fancy. We're giving it to her to pay for her "facial piercing of her choice" (:eyes:). I certainly would appreciate it, before shortbus and I end up in a rubber-walled room. (This just should NOT be this difficult!)

:D

[Cleita]

13. I found that my Norton Security software interfered with a lot of stuff.

Try disabling your security system for an experiment. If you are able to do what you want to do then that's the problem. Go back to the security system mfg. and tell them your problem so that they can recommend a fix for you.

[SoCalDem]

15. Here ya go.. Okay..not okay??

send me your email in my inbox and Ill send the file.. You can then download it and print it out.. You will need to write in the name etc :)

[dolo amber]

16. Fantastic!!

Thanks so much, that is really above and beyond. :D

Ain't DU grand? :)

(My email addy is in your inbox.)

[NickB79]

21. "To: One facial piercing"

Perfect gift for any 13-yr old :-)

[dolo amber]

23. Y'see...

The brilliance lies in the fact that despite being all she's asked for, wanted, etc., I know for a fact she'll chicken out, thus removing the "You wouldn't LET me get my nose pierced" drama from the equation, and still resulting in no piercing. ;)

[paulk]

17. I understand

There have been times these last few years (especially when dealing with soundcards) where Bill Gates, had he been present, may not have left the room alive.

[ACK]

18. Save your money and Buy a Mac or if you are a geek

use linux. I am a Unix geek so I use linux.

If neither of those options appeal to you then just back and enjoy the ride because you are completely fscked.

[Bush loves Jiang]

19. *shudders*

I can't get my PPPoE ADSL connection to work in Mandrake 9.1.

[RandomKoolzip]

20. Take a deep breath...

Please don't leave DU. I'll be forced to defend Guided by Voices all by myself in those harsh-ass "worst band ever" threads! C'mon, as a friend, think it over....

[dolo amber]

22. Ah well...

Since ya asked so nice and all...I'm certain I could leave Bob & Co. in your more than capable defending hands, but I still got'cher back. ;)

[KTM]

24. For future reference..

In IE... where i assume you went to enable cookies... you can also allow or disallow cookies for specific sites, over-riding all other cookie settings within IE.

Click on Tools, then Internet Options... go to the Privacy tab... in the lower section of the form, there is a box that says "Web Sites" and has an Edit button.. click that, then enter the root name of the site.. in your case, microsoft.com or officeupdate.com... click Allow. Close all IE windows and then open a new one and go back to the page.

If you dont have these options, you've been lazy and have not updated IE.. do so by going to windowsupdate.com. The options I speak of are there in IE v6.0 and later. (Check your version of IE by clicking Help, then About IE.)