Dean campaign announces

[jmaier]

Dean campaign announces <HUMOR>

The Dean campaign announced today that after struggling with constipation brought on by the dual rigors of 24/7 campaigning and a fast food diet, Governor Dean had a very satisfying bowel movement this morning. It was noted that enthusiastic Dean supporters immediately clamored for a congratulatory bat.

In reponse, Clark spokesperson Matt Bennett simply said that General Clark has a distinguised 35 year career of regularity and that Americans will respect that sort of leadership. As an aside, a few female Clark bloggers were seen to have posted comments about how much better General Clark would look sitting on a toilet than Howard Dean.

Dick Gephardt, knee deep in pig shit in Iowa, had little to say about the event other than muttering "this is the only shit that matters."

Senator John Kerry, hounded by reporters while coming down the steps of his local Savings & Loan branch, used the opportunity to repeat his common theme regarding Govenor Dean: "For the past 12 months, I've been telling voters that Howard Dean is full of shit. Today we have clear proof that I was right."

John Edwards took the high road: "I don't think the American people want to hear about Democratic shit. They are neck deep in Republican shit and it will take the son of a millworker to shovel it all out of Washington."

Today, during his twenty-third Fox News interview in December, Joe Lieberman contrasted his shit with Bill Clinton's and said they were both more alike than any crap coming from Howard Dean. He also offered that Lieberman shit, much like Clinton's, doesn't stink.

Dennis Kucinich, after a stump speech at an animal shelter in Iowa, quickly offered that both Dean shit and Bush shit were essentially identical. As a high-fiber vegan with a progressive diet, he could offer America the healthy kind of shit this nation has been sadly lacking for too long.


<DISCLAIMER: I'm sorry for the bathroom humor but it has been building up for quite awhile and I'm glad to finally have a release>

:hurts:

[eissa]

1. ROFL!

Thanks for the humor -- much needed today :thumbsup:

[HFishbine]

2. That's great!

Thanks for one of the most moving posts seen here in days.

[eileen_d]

3. That was equal-opportunity funny

Thanks. :yourock:

[ajacobson]

4. I fell off my stool

laughing. Dung it, it's the turd time I've read this today.

[GobGoober]

5. Hilarious

Too bad this thread is going to be locked.

[jmaier]

6. Really?

I'm still getting used to the rules around here. Which did I break?

[Pillowbiter]

9. I don't think you broke any rules

It's just that people get sensitive here because other people are wasting their time bashing Democratic candidates.

PB

[GobGoober]

12. Well I'll be danged, they changed the rule!

Straight from the thread stuck to the top of the page here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=3

Rule #3:

3. The subject line of a discussion thread may not include profanity or swear words, even if words or letters are replaced by asterisks, dashes, or abbreviations.

It used to be the subject line and the body of the post!

[maddezmom]

7. cute :)

Humor always helps.

[dave29]

8. Poop

:evilgrin:

[artr2]

10. Excellent post

After all the flame wars around here, a bit of comic relief is good! One thing about Democrats is that we can laugh about ourselves, repukkks cannot

[flpoljunkie]

11. Thanks, we needed that. Absolutely LOL humor!

[MGKrebs]

13. You have the power to take back your camode?

Heehee.

[mandyky]

14. Hey, you left out CMB and Sharpton from your "shit list"

LOL

[jmaier]

16. I probably

should have included CMB and Sharpton in the piece but I was running out of clever things to say. Hmmm ....

[RogueTrooper]

15. Brilliant

:evilgrin:

[ibegurpard]

17. "Dean supporters clamored for a congratulatory bat"

ROFLMAO!
That's priceless!

[UrbScotty]

18. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

[AnnabelLee]

19. Al Sharpton issued this response to the Dean campaign

"All along, I've been saying it's time for Democrats to sh*t or get off the pot". :shrug:

[jmaier]

20. Very Good!

:bounce:

When questioned about the event, Sen. Braun said simply:
"My feces is probably is less like George Bush's than any other candidates. It's time to put a bidet next to the commode in the White House."

[goobergunch]

21. LMAO! (n/t)

[jmaier]

22. One FINAL ABB note

then I'll let this thread rest.

James Carville to Judy Woodruff on IP:

"Listen, Judy. Democrats need to reframe this debate. It's not about the shit, it's about replacing the a**hole."

[LuminousX]

23. Brilliant

[jmaier]

24. I got moved to DU?

I'm sure I must have broken some rule or another. :dunce: