Job hunting is scary

[alarimer]

I have a job that is secure and the benefits are pretty good. The problem is I can't stand it. I don't like some of the people I work with. Sundays are tough days for me because I dread what tomorrow may bring.

BUT the thought of looking for another job or, worse, finding one is absolutely terrifying because it might actually turn out to be worse: less secure, worse people, worse benefits. Or I could be an optimist and say it could be much better but I can't because I am so not an optimist.

So what is a person to do? Stick with the job that is secure but dreaded in hopes that they might hire me in a higher position (after 7 or 8 tries with the organization I have never been offered anything but only get interviewed as a courtesy). And spend my life regretting all the things I didn't do and cursing my fate (even though it would actually be my fault for not even trying). But I would probably be safe from layoffs and no one would fire me when I got too old so they could hire someone younger and cheaper. And my job is not one that can be outsourced (yet-they might find a way!).

But that is just so incredibly passive. Well, my whole life is one of extreme passivity and fear of taking chances so nothing new there. Maybe fear of taking chances is why I am in this fix to begin with and I should turn over a new leaf. Take that leap.

I am so terrified of the future I can't even bring myself to think of it. Because the very thought of going somewhere else is very scary. Even though, paradoxically, I dream about the day I can finally say I quit. I compose my resignation letter in my head daily. And I am really, really looking forward to telling my coworkers to go fuck themselves as the very last thing I ever say to them. Not that I would say that but I really, really want to. I know I should be glad to have a job at all in my field. I know plenty of other people don't and are not as lucky as me in other ways too. But that doesn't really help. I never bought the whole "I should be grateful and happy because other people have it so much worse" thing anyway.

I worry so much about all of this and more. Don't even get me started on global warming. I don't know how people put things aside and not worry about them when they get home. I lie awake and worry about what may happen at work all the damn time. I can't stop it. The thoughts just chase each other around. Of course I am not happy unless I am worried about something- money, work, school, family, whatever.

[Deja Q]

1. Sounds familiar...

Did your employer ever have assessments or reviews where they claimed they were interested in how you wanted to progress your career and ask how they could help?

[alarimer]

2. yes we have something like that

But the problem is that my boss is not supposed to assign things that are technically outside my job description. The real lack of progress in advancing to due to my lack of supervisory experience, for which there is no real remedy. The old Catch-22: you can't get the job without experience but you can't get experience without the job.

[Deja Q]

8. Quite.

Disgusting, isn't it? One has to bother WHY they bother with this trickery. Well, it seems like trickery or at the very least a game.

[wildhorses]

3. are you sleeping at nights?

and yeah the job market sucksx(

[undeterred]

5. I've been having an interview every week

In 2001-2002 when it REALLY sucked, I was having one interview a month.

[wildhorses]

6. good luck

i have an interview tomorrow, myself...

the interviews might come more often but, are they for better jobs?

[undeterred]

11. They're pretty good

Laugh... good is when you get an offer, of course. :hi:

I had one Friday that is a very cool job for the right person, testing macromedia software. I'm not at all qualified for it, but I went through it anyway because the recruiter has lots of connections and he might end up finding something else for me.

In the computer field things are 'very good' right now- in my specific niche within that I'd say 'good'. Still takes a while. I'm hoping to get something that doesn't require driving 50 miles this time, because I've been doing that for 2 years and the car is getting old.

[wildhorses]

12. yeah, i was driving 75 miles one way --

well, that and for other reasons i had to say buh-bye

you sound like me (from your other post)

don't like to take a lot of crap

cliques and politicsx(

[undeterred]

13. On my tombstone it will say

"she never achieved much and she died poor BUT she never took shit from anyone" ;-)

[wildhorses]

14. achievement is over rated anyway

i like it:thumbsup:

[alarimer]

7. With the help of Excedrin PM

I manage to sleep at night most of the time.

[wildhorses]

10. sorry...i know how you feel ...i do the same thing

:hug:

[undeterred]

4. Well, once you're out there like me, you don't have a choice.

I lost my job 6 weeks ago. If I were really good at suffering in silence I'd still have it. But I'm not.

Honestly, the odds of finding something worse- I don't really think that's going to happen. I'm only worried about how long this is going to take. My ex-employer is vicious and they are trying to stop me from collecting unemployment benefits- shows their true colors.

I'm the kind of person who can't put up with baloney for very long. I marvel at people who are passive and stay in bad situations for a long time, because I am incapable of it- in work or in love. It is a big world, and there are a lot of jobs out there. The people at my last company are habitual liars who do unethical things and treat people like crap. There are a few other companies that are just as bad, but most are not as bad, and it does matter to me what kind of place I work, even if I'm not directly involved in the unethical stuff they do.

We only live once. Spend it wisely. Take a deep breath and get out of there. You will make it. :hug:

[alarimer]

9. No you are right

I feel bad even complaining when I at least have a choice.