Is it possible for happy and content people to be petty?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

i was thinking about this today, and the happier i am, the less petty i get. is it possible for truly happy and content people to be petty? not that i am saying all unhappy people are petty. some people deal with unhappiness with grace and strength. But is pettiness the sign of discontent and unhappiness?

[nini]

1. You nailed it on the head sister

If someone is truly happy and at peace being petty doesn't cross their mind.

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. i was thinking about how lisa has made me a better person, simply because i am happier

and want other people to be happy too. i think she has made me more generous spirited.

[nini]

12. that's what the real thing does for you

it compliments you and brings out your best. Being negative towards anyone doesn't cross your mind.

;-)

[Oeditpus Rex]

18. Y'know what, Pri?

I've noticed. Maybe others have, too.

I wouldn't say Lisa's made you a better person, though, because the quality had to be in you to begin with. I'd guess that because you're happier, your better angels rule you.

I've always liked you, but to tell you the truth, you used to intimidate me a bit. Since you and Lisa have been together, though, you're so warm and loveable. :hug:

One for her, too. :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

20. Aww! Thank you love! thats exactly how i feel, more warm towards others!

:bounce: :loveya:

[nini]

22. well said

I agree.

[ChoralScholar]

2. Sorry, it's late, and I read 'pretty' instead of 'petty'

I was thinking - what a strange question.....

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. lol!

thats funny!

[flvegan]

4. Yes. "Pettiness" is based in ego.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. what do you mean?

[flvegan]

8. What do I mean?

It's pretty clear. "Pettiness" by definition, is based in the human ego. There's really nothing to add to it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. i still dont understand you. pettiness is a lack of a generousity in spirit

especially in trivial matters.

like getting upset because you ordered iced coffee but got hazelnut iced coffee. you throw a huge hissy fit, and demand that the manager fire the person who served you hazelnut iced coffee.

so in context of what i was thinking, i dont understand you.

[flvegan]

11. Good example.

To help me explain, let me ask this...if your suggestion is an example of pettiness, then why would one demand that the manager fire the person that served you the wrong coffee?

This is a genuine question to help explain my point. No shadowgames, k?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. bitterness, discontent and unhappiness.

i know plenty of egotistical people who are very generous spirited. i mean they need compliments, like normal people need water, but they are extremely generous at heart.

however i work in customer service, and a lot of my clients are unhappy and overworked (though grossly over compensated too) and a lot of their complaints are just petty shit like this.

[flvegan]

15. I apologize.

I really should have been more clear in my original response to you.

Our definitions of "ego" are different, and I should have put that forward in my first response and not just thrown it out there.

It seems that if one is making a complaint based in their own "unhappy and overworked" reasoning, then they're doing so because of their self-based ego.

Here's sort of where I'm coming from (and again, I'm sorry for tossing it out there without a better explanation):
http://www.maithri.com/articles_new/ego_desire.htm

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. ahh i see, you are describing ego with what i would have called being self centered.

or self absorbed.

that makes sense.

[flvegan]

19. Sort of, yes.

To me, and again, I apologize for not being more clear at first as it was kind of an unfair response, ego is the basis of anything that is grounded in the words "I want" uttered by any person, for a non completely altruistic reason. I think that if you chain back what I said, it makes sense.

[Maddy McCall]

26. Naw, it really isn't.

It's based on the necessity to focus outwards, because focusing inwards is too painful.

I watch Dr. Phil. I know this stuff.

:D

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. you are a riot!

"I watch Dr. Phil. I know this stuff" :rofl:

[flvegan]

31. No?

Enlighten me as to what you think/know about ego, Maddy.

Oh, wait...you already did. Sorry.

[datasuspect]

36. "ego" is a freudian leftover

freud has been discredited.

i wonder what being a vicious, mean misanthrope is based in?

the id?

[philosophie_en_rose]

5. There are smug/ happy, petty people - Like Stepford fundie wives.

Bless your heart. :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i hadnt thought about that. i was thinking more that lisa has made me a better person

and part of the reason is because i am happy, and i want people also to be happy.

[philosophie_en_rose]

24. You're right. Happiness makes it harder to be petty.

But some people are happy to be petty.

[Name removed]

14. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[rug]

17. Apparently the answer is yes.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. well flvegan mentioned that it could be ego/self absorbtion and

someone else mention smugness, so aside from unhappiness i guess there are other reasons to be randomly petty.

[susanna]

29. VERY intriguing thread, lionesspriyanka.

I find I go in cycles. I equate it with the inevitable and (IMHO) continual clash with one's ego. I can go five years with nary a pettiness episode in sight, then I have a year where I occasionally do really petty things and find myself mortified (though I would never ask for someone to be fired - that's way TOO petty). Usually my petty things run from thinking that my husband should know what I'm thinking and going into a snit when he doesn't GET IT. ;-)

Then, when my run of pettiness is over, I go back into equilibrium mode and don't have another episode for another few years.

Myself, I think the ego plays tricks on you. Sometimes you think you've conquered it, but another aspect comes up to challenge that belief. So I have this funny feeling I will always be getting the petty thing on, somewhere, sometime; basically shadow-boxing with a part of the ego I haven't seen yet. But that's probably just me, and I tend to think too much. :-)

[Maddy McCall]

23. Pettiness IS the sign of discontent.

Yes, ma'am. Certainly is.

And pettiness is easily recognizable.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. ...

:hi:

[Zomby Woof]

28. It's a sign of inner ugliness

I find it troubling when people use their "happiness" as a passive-aggressive weapon to dig the dagger a little deeper into the wound.

Such a person is not just discontented, they are deeply disturbed.

[Kat45]

32. Frank knew.

What is the ugliest/part of your body
What is the ugliest/part of your body
Some say your nose/some say your toes
But I think it's your mind, your mind, your mind...

[datasuspect]

37. or very immature

they are not really happy

[mykpart]

30. I'm happy for you, but I think that there are some people

who are just assholes, and the happier and more content they are, the more they are convinced that it is because they are somehow better than the rest of us.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

38. well thats true enough!

[Orsino]

33. It's possible.

We just have to pull together and believe.

[Fire Walk With Me]

34. Pettiness is a sign of fear, and a lack of love (internal/external).

Also, believing it can be gotten away with helps.

"The measure of a man is not what he does, but what he does when he thinks no one is looking."

I read recently that house cats torment their prey before killing them, and that they kill every other day or so. And that feral cats kill quickly, to eat.

[Callalily]

35. I think your statement

rings true. When people are truly happy, they don't have to look for ways (pettiness) to make them feel good about themselves.

And as a personal aside. I think some people bring out the worst in us and some people bring out the best in us. I think Lisa brings out your best! For both of you >>>>:hug: