DU's Greatest Hits

[Dr. Strange]

For my 1000th post...

I've had friends who have looked at some of the threads on DU, and while the topic might be interesting, the thread is so long that they decide they don't have the time to read them. In an effort to assist these people, I think we should take some of the important threads and condense them. I have a few examples...

Circuit City
Person 1: This guy was asked for a receipt while leaving Circuit City. He said, “No!” What a hero!
Person 2: No, he’s an idiot.
Person 1: No! He’s Rosa Parks. You’re a corporate Freeper!
Person 2: Rats! You found me out.


Circumcision
Person 1: Circumcision is wrong.
Person 2: Let parents decide.
(Various deleted subthreads on whether male and female circumcision are the same.)
Person 2: I was or know someone who was circumcised and we’re fine!
Person 1: I was or know someone who was circumcised and they grew up to be a telemarketer.


The Gungeon
Person 1: If guns are outlawed, then only outlaws will have guns.
Person 2: We’re not outlawing guns! We’re just making them illegal so they won’t kill any more people.
Person 1: Guns don’t kill. People kill.
Person 2: Shovel that pantload to the racists at the NRA!
Mods: We’re locking this crap.


Spanking
Person 1: Spanking is wrong.
Person 2: Let parents decide.
Person 1: No, it’s abuse.
Person 2: You need to be circumcised!


Rape is Terrorism
Person 1: Rape is Terrorism.
Person 2: No, terrorism has a specific definition. Not all rape is terrorism.
Person 1: Yes! Rape is terrorism. It is also a floor wax and a dessert topping.
Person 2: Um, what?!
Person 1: Typical patriarchal bullshit!


The 9/11 Forum
Person 1: MIHOP
Person 2: Sorry, can’t buy that. LIHOP.
Person 3: Maybe there actually were hijackers?
Person 1: OCT? No, you troll. It was lasers, missiles, holograms…
Mods: We’re locking this crap.


Religion
Person 1: Christians are assholes!
Person 2: That’s bigotry! Besides, the Muslims are the real assholes!
Person 3: No, all religions are crap. There is no god.
Person 2: You atheists are assholes!


PETA
Person 1: Peta is doing something stupid!
Person 2: They’re helping the animals. That’s what’s important!
Person 3: People Eating Tasty Animals!
Persons 1 and 2: You’re an asshole.


Feel free to add to the list.

[KitchenWitch]

1. Olive Garden

OP: Where in Manhattan should I eat?
1st respondant: My spouse and I enjoyed Olive Garden in Times Square
Many People to 1st respondant: Good grief, are you some sort of idjit? Who eats at Olive Garden in NYC? Have you no taste at all?

[TrogL]

37. TH ERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN OLIVE GARDEN

Olives grow on trees.

Trees are grouped in orchards or groves.

Olive trees make the soil so acidic nothing else can grow. Hence any "garden" quickly turns into compost.

[Richardo]

2. For someone with 'only' 1,000 posts you're pretty observant.

I'd say you nailed each one of them :D:thumbsup:

:toast: for the 1K

[calimary]

3. "...also a floor wax and a dessert topping"!

:rofl:

DUzy award winner! Congrats! Did you see?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1934515

[Dr. Strange]

7. Woohoo! DuStrange and KitchenWitch in for the score!

This is my second DUzy!

Remind me again how this works. After five DUzies, we get an autographed picture of our favorite moderator...and then after ten, Skinner takes us out for endless breadsticks? (At least that's what I've heard.)

[bridgit]

4. pppfffttt, shows what you know, where's yer freaking KUDZU n00'bie...

[Exultant Democracy]

5. I'll take you back two more years, where is Oscar?

[KT2000]

6. Best of all time!

[redqueen]

22. THAT is the one!

:thumbsup:

[Dr. Strange]

8. That's why I said "Add to the list!"

I know there's gotta be a million of these that I'm missing.

[Sock Puppet]

9. I bow to your brilliance.

Sockpuppets unite!!! :toast:

[asthmaticeog]

10. It has to be done:

Person 1: I want to make chicken tonight. I usually do (such-and-such), but post a recipe and maybe I'll try it!
Person 2: Eeeew, (such-and-such) is gross! You're doing it wrong and you're stupid!
Person 3: Eeeew, (such-and-such) is an insult to my culture!
Person 1: So post a recipe, then?
Person 2: Fuck you, (such-and-such) is gross! You're doing it wrong and you're stupid!
Person 3: Yeah, (such-and-such) is an insult to my culture!
Person 1: So post a recipe, then?
Person 3: Can you not see that I'm nowhere near finished making fun of you for (such-and-such), you god damn chicken-recipe heretic?
Person 2: You're doing it wrong and you're stupid!

[Dr. Strange]

11. I think this argument is going on right now in LBN!

Not about chicken though!

[redqueen]

23. Can we not say cornflakes any more?

:scared:

[KitchenWitch]

12. Temporary Sockpuppet was good for a few chuckles!

[greatauntoftriplets]

13. Jason Leopold.

:hide:

[likesmountains 52]

15. Lots of tombstones over that whole business...

[Dr. Strange]

16. Link?

Or does the thread just consist of
Deleted Message
Deleted Message
Deleted Message
Deleted subthread
Deleted Message
Deleted Message...?

[WilliamPitt]

34. Give me 24 business hours

I'll have it for you.

*fleeing*

[likesmountains 52]

35. Perfect reply! That's funny!

[Cathyclysmic]

14. Anyone who acts like a prima Donna.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

17. Whales and Elves

[Blue-Jay]

19. That would be too much to bear.

:cry:

[asthmaticeog]

20. ...

[Blue-Jay]

24. ...

[asthmaticeog]

26. ...

[Blue-Jay]

28. Wheeeeee!

:rofl:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

29. YAY!!!!!

[unpossibles]

18. I'll assume you don't breastfeed your kids in your SUV while on the phone

on the way to the Olive Garden.

[redqueen]

21. ...

:rofl:

:loveya:

[XemaSab]

25. Smoking:

Person 1: If you smoke, your as bad as Hitler!!1!!!1!!1!
Person 2: If cigarettes were good enough for JFK, MLK, and Jesus, they're good enough for me! Besides, Hitler was anti-smoking. He didn't eat meat, either.
Person 1: If Jesus didn't want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat, HITLER? :eyes:

[MrScorpio]

27. That bullfighting thread yesterday had some real potential

But it just petered out

[mac56]

30. Happens every time....

Music
Person 1: Any other fans of (band/artist/song/album/genre) out there?
Person 2: Your favorite band sucks.

[lightningandsnow]

31. Hilarious...

It's amazing what the internet brings out in some people.

[ruiner4u]

32. Porn...

Person 1: Porn is veiled misogyny and is the cause of all society's ills...
Person 2: Porn is great and is protected under the first amendment...
Me: Ya know who else hates porn? The Taliban...


---From GD's great porn war of '07---

[LSK]

33. douchebag

Person 1: The word douchebag is offensive and insulting
Person 2: no it isnt
Person 1: Yes it is
Matcom: Lounge, hijack that thread
Person 3: Global Warming is anti-gay

[racaulk]

36. "Mods: We’re locking this crap."

:spank: :spray: :rofl:

Congrats on the 1,000 posts! :hi:

[racaulk]

38. Snickers' Super Bowl Ad

Person 1: That ad campaign was homophobic and disgusting!
Person 2: No it wasn't! It was making fun of homophobes, not gay men!
Person 1: Are you saying I don't know homophobia when I see it?
Person 2: You're being too sensitive and need to lighten up.

Persons 3 to 83,671 start new OP's in GD discussing this exact same topic.

[TrogL]

39. Wellstone

Person 1: Wellstone's crash was a conspiracy
Person 2: Wellstone's plane was flying in ice with incompetent pilots (one of whom hated ice) - a disaster waiting to happen
Person 1: You're part of the conspiracy

[TrogL]

40. Controlled demolition

Person 1: The towers fell down looking just like controlled demolition. No building can possibly fall down at the speed of gravity. Therefore they were brought down by controlled demolition.
Person 2: They were supposed to fall sideways? Slower than gravity? How?
Person 1: You're part of the conspiracy.