9/25 Midday Update On Stacey... I'm Getting Anxious Again.

OPERATIONMINDCRIME

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Tue Sep-25-07 12:10 PM
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9/25 Midday Update On Stacey... I'm Getting Anxious Again.

Though the doc says he's still encouraged and that I should look at the bigger picture, and that the bigger picture is that she's hanging in there and still heading in the right direction, I find myself a bit anxious and scared again this morning.

The good is that they have lowered her remaining BP medication even further and her bp is doing quite well. They also said her ventilator settings have been lowered a bit and she's doing well with that as well.

What was discouraging to me is that her Kidney creatinine level has now gone up to 2.1, and they actually said the words acute renal failure. I guess it isn't that much worse than yesterday's 1.7, but I wish it wouldn't go up. I guess it's expected though, with what she's going through right now. They have a renal team looking after her and at this point though they're concerned, as would be expected, it isn't any imminent threat type of concern. Just still something they're keeping their eyes on.

They also told me she had a fever again this morning, but that it was only 100.4 and has since gone back down. They didn't seem overly concerned about it.

Her white blood cell count dropped again. It went from 1.8 yesterday to 1.1 this morning. Her neutrophil count went from 1.6 to .875. They said not to fixate on those numbers, and that it could just be dilution from the fluids she's getting etc. Still though, I wish they had gone up, and not down.

They are stopping the feeding tube for a bit because her stomach was getting backed up. They said this isn't really overly concerning as well.

Their take is that she's doing well, and that 3 steps forward and 2 steps back is still forward progress. They tell me she's hanging in there and that they're encouraged that her BP is holding strong and her oxygen/blood gases are doing well.

I feel good about that as well, but I'm still sitting here just so anxious anyway, cause I just can't take day after day of the infection not being fought off yet. She has an adenovirus pneumonia and I know those can be really dangerous in immunosuppressed patients, with a documented mortality of over 50%, from things I've been reading. That covers a lot of different types of patients though, so I'm still holding onto hope she will be one of the 40 somethin percent.

I'm just still so scared but more anxious then anything. I know she's still really sick and though there are indications she's hanging in there strong, I'm just so anxious to hear that she's fighting it off already. That just simply isn't occurring yet. So day by day, with each day going by like a week, is I guess where we're at. The kidney thing bothers me a bit, but I also know they are keeping a close eye on it.

I probably shouldn't have read up on the whole adenovirus pneumonia thing. Kinda scared me a bit. But I do feel relieved that her bp is holding strong as is her breathing, so I just have to force myself to be patient. But holy cow are some of these days tough to just get through. I want this resolved already, but I guess it's going to keep going on for a while. It's mental torture at its max. But I just have to keep faith that she'll continue to hang in there, and that after a few more days she'll fight it back. I almost wish they could just knock my ass out for a week, to relieve this anxiety.

But that's it for now really. I'll post more if anything changes, but for now the mentally challenging waiting game continues.

Man I hate being patient. It's not exactly my strong suit.

Thanks as always,

OMC