I have a thing for Severus Snape. Yes, Professor Snape from Harry Potter.
I must qualify myself in several ways. First, I don't think the books are very well written, but they are thoroughly imaginative, and written well enough that they can be enjoyed if you put your serious literary critic to bed.
Second, I resisted reading the books for a long time, despite numerous recommendations from friends. Then, when I was in my famous car accident and was in the hospital for weeks, my best friend bought me the box set of the first four books. For a person who is unable to move in a hospital bed and who is massively doped up, the Harry Potter books are ideal. They take only the tiniest brain-power to absorb, and they truly take you away to another world.
One thing about my car accident that I hardly ever talk about, is how much of a relief it was. That sounds terrible. I mean, I was disabled; I lost my baby; I lost my garden wedding and was married in my hospital bed, in the orthopedic gym, wearing a diaper; I couldn't go to my own wedding reception; I had my honeymoon in a rehabilitation center; I will be in pain for the rest of my life; I will need a hip replacement. But it was a relief, a tremendous relief. From the very moment we realized the extent of my injuries, every adult responsibility that had been on my shoulders was suddenly taken care of. My friends and family and coworkers took care of EVERYTHING, every last detail of my home and work business. My only responsibility was to get better. That's the only thing I had to do.
So what does this have to do with Severus Snape?
Well, I am under a LOT of pressure at home and at work. I am the Director of 2 departments and I have no staff. My ED is superman and has very high expectations. At home we are seeing specialist after specialist trying to figure out if my son has autism, OCD, ADHD, or if he's just some type of weird super-genius. My husband has an anger issue and everything revolves around that. Our bare-bones cost of living is exactly what we earn, so nothing can ever, ever go wrong and we can never need anything extra. (Though we did manage to get a tree, and go out to eat 3 times since Friday...but now I have to figure out how we're going to live without the extra money we spent this weekend.) Anyway, it's all normal stuff, and probably not worse than what anyone else is going through, but it still equals STRESS.
So in the midst of this stress emerges an intense sexual and emotional fantasy about Severus Snape.
![](http://www.freewebs.com/severelyobsessed/severus_snape-cos-09.jpg)
I mean intense, too. It's actually enhanced my sex life a bit. But I think my husband would be a little disappointed if he knew what I was thinking about.
Anyway, I don't tend to have fantasies based on existing literature, characters, actors, etc. My fantasies to this point have always been very original. I feel quite low-brow. But I'm helpless--helplessly under the spell of this dark, sexy, misunderstood, B-Fiction Wizard.
Do I need help?
Ever had a weird fantasy you couldn't shake?
EDIT: typo